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August 5, 2003
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Tuesday’s Top Ten Top Ten

— Posted by John Campea

Tuesday’s Top Ten

Top Ten Movies Every Geek Should See
Holy Crap!
Okay, I’ve ignored the obvious, like Star Wars, Star Trek and Aliens. Truth be told, this list should be alot longer than 10 movies, but this is a Tuesday Top Ten, so that’s all I’m allowed to put down. If I were to list 11 movies, John would tie me to a radiator and beat me with a car antennae. Again…

It was pretty hard to rank these, so don’t get to worked up about which to see first, ’cause I know you’re going to be running out to a video store to do whatever I tell you as soon as you’re done reading my post. The high demand this column will no doubt generate for some relatively rare films might mean that you won’t be able to find some of these movies in your local Blockbuster. If one onf my legions of fans manages to rent your city’s only copy of Wizards before you do, then you should go buy it on amazon.com. My advice is to pick the ones that you think interest you the most and start from there, so long as the ones that interests you most are my first three picks.

Anywho, here we go…
1. Army of Darkness
The cult classic of cult classics. If there was any justice in the world, Burce Campbell would be the president of the earth. If you have not seen this movie then, to quote my good friend Dave, “You Are Dumb.” (Monday, July 28) Seriously, you need to see this movie, so that you too can say with confidence “Gimme some sugar, baby.”

2. The Highlander
Great movie. Unfortunetly, despite the fact that this movie leaves absolutely no room for a sequel, three of them were made, much to the general public’s dismay. If you’ve ever seen one of the other movies, or the television show, forget everything you saw. This movie is better than any of that stuff, and makes alot more sense.

3. Mad Max
Alot of people have never seen this low-budget australian classic. Not only do you get to see a young Mel Gibson shine, you also get to see the origins of several often-parodied scenes. Unlike the highlander, the sequels to this movie are alright. Any Mad Max movie is great B-movie cheese.

4. Planet of the Apes
We’re talking the 1968 original here, not the remake. Charlton Heston, monkey suits, and one of the most parodied scenes from any movie ever. Plus, if you’ve never seen this, you won’t get any of the jokes in the remake.

5. Tron
The birth of CG. Not only do get to laugh at what was considered to be an awesome video game 19 years ago, you get to see that computer programs live much more interesting lives than you do.

6. Them!
Now, it’s no secret that I’m partial to any movie that includes giant ants. This is the grand-daddy of them all. The first movie to include not only giant ants, but giant animals of any kind, mutated after a nuclear explosion. Just so you know, this movie is not good, but…giant ants!

7. The Ice Pirates
Ah, the Ice Pirates. Pure 80’s genius. Truth be told, this is actually a pretty good movie. The story is almost plausible, the effects aren’t bad (for an 80’s sci-fi) and it is genuinely funny. Do yourself a favor and track down a copy of this comedy. Good luck.

8. Wizards
Words can’t really describe this movie. All I’ll say is it’s pretty freakin’ cool. Oh, and you can’t get it on DVD. Yet.

9. 2001: A Space Odyssey
I almost didn’t include this movie, as I also listed on last weeks Top Ten list. But I had to , it really, really belongs here.

10. Clash of the Titans
Stop-motion gold. You could substitute in Jason and the Argonauts, or any of the many, many mythology based stop-motion films that were made in the days before CG. Don’t worry if you can’t find Clash of the Titans in your local video store. Just wait long enough and eventually it’ll be on television some saturday afternoon. You’ve got to give credit to any movie that tries to pass off a puppet as frightening. Except maybe Hercules in New York. Don’t ever give that movie credit for anything.

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