—Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman from Batman Begins, 2005
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March 10, 2004
3 Fast 3 Furious? Thrice Furious, Thrice Stupid? Triple Fast with Triple X?
— Posted by John Campea
I’m going to have to excuse myself after this post to go punch myself flush in the crotch for at least an hour.
I just saw this news bit on television so I simply had to research it, and lo and behold, Countingdown.com has caught the news and so has Yahoo!…
Fresh off the assembly line at ‘The Plant for Flaccid Ideas’, a subsidiary company of ‘Guys Addicted to Pot Who Lie About Their Penis Size’, comes the new, fresh and horribly lame idea: Fast and the Furious Part 3. Sick.
2 Fast 2 Furious had my Razzie vote for “Poorest Excuse For An Actual Movie” in 2003. (That’s a real category folks, click here) And now this. I’m very curious what on earth they’re going to call this, I mean, since their use of the number 2 in the last title was so clever, of course. I suggest ‘The Fast and the Furious: Kill Yourself’ or maybe ‘2 Fast 2 Furious Too’ or ‘So Lame my Ass Hurts’ or ‘I Have Lights Under my Car and I’m a Date Rapist.’. I don’t know, they can use those titles if they want.
So Vin Diesel is currently tugging on the bait line for being in this one. Which is the only hope for getting the dullards who haven’t figured out they’ve been shown the same movie twice already, in the door for a third one. 2005 Razzie Noms start today in my book.
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