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March 13, 2004

Forgive Us Father, For We Have… Not Noticed You Were Worth Money.

— Posted by John Campea

Okay, this news is a couple weeks along now, but I love the irony and I’ve noticed today that not everybody knows about it.

Remember the fable of the chicken on the farm that bakes bread? She runs around collecting wheat saying: “Who’ll help me gather the grain?” – And the other Farm Animals don’t. “Who’ll help me grind flour?” Nobody. “Who’ll help me Bake it?” Nary a hoof or paw lends a hand… or paw. Ah, but when she says: “Who’ll Help Me EAT IT??” – Everyone goes: “GOLLY! – Hit Me Up That Sweet Bready Goodness!!!”
Our Farm Animals in this Case is 20th Century Fox, the Working Chicken: Mel Gibson.

Date: Thursday, July 24th, 2003: Mel Gibson is debating on even releasing ‘Passion’ with subtitles. Fox News states 20th Century Fox has inked a deal for distribution of “The Passion”. (Article)
Date: August 2003: 20th Century Fox says “Never Mind” amid doubts of money and whispered controversy. (Article)
– Mel says “Who’ll help me Distribute it?” Nobody…
– Mel says “Who’ll help me Market it?” Nobody… Zip Forward to…..
Date: Present Day. Passion has had the largest 5 day opening (Article), the largest February opening (Article) and has raked in nearly a quarter of a Billion dollars in 2 weeks.
– Mel says: “We’ve gotta quarter Billion Dollars! Who wants to help sell DVDs?”
– 20th Century Fox says: “WE DO!!!!!” (Article)

Oh, How quickly they forget. Hesitation? What hesitation? Gimme the fricking MONEY.
There’s a life proverb that says “The world’s best eraser is a good night’s sleep…” I hereby add to that wise reflection: “…and a quarter billion dollars.”

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"Some men aren’t looking for anything logical like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."

—Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth from The Dark Knight, 2008