— Bill Murray as Carl Spackler from Caddyshack, 1980
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July 19, 2004
The Public Votes on that Horrid “Fullscreen DVD” Nonsense.
— Posted by John Campea
Okay look folks. I’ll say it right outta the can so you can catch my “bias” and “propaganda” right outta the heap:
Fullscreen DVDs are silly and dumb. No really. Imagine this a sec: If your girl/boyfriend or husband/wife or child/nephew/neice made you a nice, pretty drawing and then some dork ripped up the page so you could only see a little more than half of the artwork your “precious person” made for you, you’d be pretty pissed off I bet, right? Yeah Exactly. Ever get ticked when someone’s head blocks so much as 10% of the screen in a movie theatre?? Yeah? Well, imagine that. I guess we’ll just march out to the store and buy the movie on fullscreen DVD and voluntarily snip almost 40% of the entire picture away. Cause guess what? That’s what you’re doing! Sound Stupid? You’re right.
Those “black bars” you don’t like? Well, they are there because, in case you’ve never noticed, TVs and movie screens are different SHAPES. And in order to see the entire….. oh… what’s that word.. ..ah! .. PICTURE.. the “movie screen shape” has to fit into your nearly-square TV shape. – And if the movie is “filling” your entire TV shape, you’re cutting away a HUGE part of the… oh geez.. I lost that word too.. oh yes, THE MOVIE!!!!
Today, the Internet Movie Database ran one of those “non-scientific” public opinion polls entitled “Should Studios Abandon “fullscreen” DVD Production? Which of course, is an obvious “yes”. At the time of viewing, 5783 people voted.. here are the results:
You know what the most disturbing thing is? that over 20% saw GOOD reason as to why studios should continue slicing 40% of the movie they’re watching, away! – And you 8.9% “no opinion-ers?” Yeah, just say Fullscreen sucks, okay? Because it does. Thanks.
Oh! And for those that say you like “fullscreen” because you like the picture “being Bigger”? — I offer you this earth-shattering idea instead of cutting away the film’s picture: Sit Closer! ~~SHOCK!!~~ Cue Thunderous “Tense Moment” Music!! : Dumm-Dumm-Duuhhhhhh!!!!!
(Case excepted for buying TV shows on DVD. For reasons I won’t explain lest you be completely crack-wracked.)
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