Comments on: David Hasselhoff Stars In Anaconda 3 And 4

By: UKAndy616

UKAndy616 — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 13:59:51 +0000

He’s nothing without the car.

By: DarkKinger

DarkKinger — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 00:38:03 +0000

There’s going to be a lot of women losing their virginity by the time both DVDs come out!

By: bond james bond

bond james bond — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 23:48:04 +0000

das Hoff ist ein Gott unter insekten.

By: Darren J Seeley

Darren J Seeley — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 23:25:25 +0000

@Mozzerino

And he needs a cool name. Something like “Hunter Kane” or “Snake Barlow”.

Just as long as it ain’t “Nick Fury”

…..now, back to the matter at hand.
Since these things are going right to DVD / video (and then one hop away from the Sci-Fi channel), overall, I could sort of get it. I mean, might as well squeeze out the rest of the water from the rag.

As for FauntLeRoy, seeing how Sensei Seagal is not co-starring along the Hoff, it does seem a step up on the ladder…although a DTV flick with both would have been killer.

By: The Queen of Cheese

The Queen of Cheese — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 23:22:38 +0000

The Hoff? Aww come on was Johnny Messner too busy to star in the next two cheesy movies. His shirtless was the only good thing about the movie. I hope The Hoff has no plans to remove anything clothing.

By: Mozzerino

Mozzerino — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 23:02:34 +0000

My guess is that Hoff will surprise everyone with a startling performance that will put him immediately to the Hollywood A-List.
He will sport a beard and play a reptile expert, wearing a collar of snake-teeth, who has lived for years in the deadly forests of the amazon. His loving wife and his two adorable children have been eaten by anacondas years ago and he’s looking for revenge. The grief also made him develop a grave alcohol abuse problem. Hoff should be able to portray that convincingly.
And he needs a cool name. Something like “Hunter Kane” or “Snake Barlow”. In fact, if they are still looking for writers on this thing, I hereby volunteer!

By: Baron von Pupi

Baron von Pupi — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:51:23 +0000

The spiritual sequel to Snakes on a Plane?

By: Phil Gee

Phil Gee — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:05:34 +0000

I want Anaconda 3 to open with a scene of Hasslehoff rowing a boat down river singing ‘i’ve been looking for freedom’.

Then i want Anaconda 4 to open with a scene of Hasslehoff rowing a boat down river singing ‘i’ve been fighting some snaaaaa-aaakes’.

And at some point, John Rhys Davies must have his stomach cut open with a Hoff wielded machete to reveal “fucking thoooousands of snaaaaaaaaaakes”.

And i want these movies to make it clear that Hoff’s character did the same thing to Jennifer Lopez’s character off screen sometime. It will have no plot significance but it will set the audience on Hasslehoff’s side.

By: Mozzerino

Mozzerino — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 21:58:27 +0000

All Hail the Hoff!
I don’t care how bad this movies will end up being. The fact that The Hoff will star in them automatically makes them awesome.

By: Kristina

Kristina — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 21:54:00 +0000

Oh my GAWD.