Thanks for checking out our Alien vs Predator Requiem Review. You can see the video review at the bottom of this post.
In the world of “dream fights”, without question one of the top most yearned for on screen battles has always been Aliens verses Predators. So along came the first AVP movie a couple of years ago, and to call it a disappointment would be a bit of an understatement. Personally, I still got a bit of a kick out of it (the line about finding Moses’ DVD collection almost made me spit up my pop) but there is no denying that it could have… and SHOULD HAVE been much much better.
When word came out about they studio giving the franchise another shot, I was shocked. Yes the film made over $170 million world wide, but it was so panned by fans and critics I thought they’d just celebrate their money and call it a day. Nope… here comes AvP-R (bloody stupid as hell title). The trailers made it look like it would be a big step up from the previous attempt? Was it? No.
THE GENERAL IDEA
Our old friends the Predators are back. Always looking for the ultimate prey to hunt and challenge themselves against, they seem to have run out of worthy opponents. So instead of just retiring the old cloaking devices, they decided to breed a new kind of prey by crossing their own DNA with that of ALIENS. Something goes horribly wrong and the Predator ship crashing on earth releasing the new PrediAlien onto our unsuspecting world to kill, breed and multiply. The Predator response to this…. send one guy to come fight them. Why not?
Meanwhile, an edgy pizza boy is in love with the high school hottie, but she is dating the evil popular school jock (no, I’m not kidding, I swear to high heaven I wish I was) who bullies him and makes him sad (poor sad pizza boy), but undeterred the pizza boy is committed to winning the hottie’s heart, and surviving the oncoming Alien Apocalypse (aren’t we all).
THE GOOD
The film wastes no time in setting up the situation. Right from the opening credits we see the Predator ship circling around earth with their little PrediAlien experiment. Chaos, the ship crashes, Aliens escape and start the killing… all within the first 3 minutes!!! I’m come to appreciate it when dumb mindless fun flicks just recognize what they are and jump right into it… AVP-R does that.
It was nice to see that AVP-R never took itself too seriously. They filmmakers clearly understood that people weren’t expecting “300” or “Braveheart” here… they just wanted to see a lot of people and monsters getting ripped the hell up. There were none of the dreaded “life lessons” that plague some other films, no deeper message or purpose… it was essentially an hour and a half of video game nonsense… and for a film like AVP-R, that’s a good thing.
Some of the action was great! As promised by the advanced R rated trailers, there are some gloriously gory and fun shots of guys getting their heads blown, acid burning through unsuspecting flesh… and the movie doesn’t spare children or pregnant women either (I won’t give anything away here… but wow the scene in the hospital was fun!). Yup, it sure seemed like the filmmakers understood what people wanted to see… well… at least in the third act. The first two acts were a waste, which leads us to….
THE BAD
As already mentioned in the opening of this review… THERE IS A PIZZA BOY IN LOVE WITH A HIGH SCHOOL HOTTIE, WHO IS ALREADY DATING THE EVIL POPULAR SCHOOL JOCK!!!! No,,, once again I’m NOT kidding. I had to look around the theater to see if anyone else was about to get up and walk out just for that alone. And of course the big bad boyfriend bullies the pizza boy all while the hottie looks on and feels bad, ultimately (SPOILER) rejecting the jock to get with the loser pizza boy. Good… fricking… grief. For a little while I thought it was some sort of joke.
As expected, the “story” and “dialog” were completely pathetic. Like I said, no one was expecting 300 or Braveheart, but at least pretend to give a shit about the words coming out of these people’s mouths.
For a movie that supposedly understood what people were wanting out of it… a brainless action flick with lots of violence, Alien killing, Predator hunting, people dying a horrible horrible horrible ways… it sure was slow for most of the film. As I mentioned, the movie does jump right into it in the first 5 minutes… but then is pretty much goes to sleep for the next hour. A pizza boy trying to get the hot girl (GAG!!!)… an army mom coming home from a tour of duty trying to win back the affection of her little girl (GAG!!!!)… an ex-con returning to town to try to start over (GAG!!!)… these are the things that make up the majority of the first 2 acts with just the odd transitional scene showing either the Aliens or the Predator.
Ok, now on the level of wanting a dumb, brainless fun action film… I was wanting to see a LOT of Aliens and Predators fighting. However, I was quickly disappointed to see that there was only ONE Predator! COME ON!!!!! Yes we want to see the hapless humans get ripped to shreds… but we’d also like to see some fights where Aliens win certain encounters and rip up a Predator or two as well! Nope… wasn’t going to happen… not with just one Predator. Very disappointing.
OVERALL
If you really want to enjoy Alien Vs Predator – Requiem, just watch the R-rated trailer… because most of (not all) of the best stuff is in there… and the rest of the film is mostly moms connecting with daughters and the pizza boy trying to get the girl. However, AVP-R is not a total waste of a film. There is enough mindless fun in it that you won’t HATE the film (I didn’t hate it), just not enough to be anywhere as good as it could have been. Overall I give AVP-R a 4.5 out of 10.
YOU CAN WATCH THE REVIEW BELOW
