Corey Feldman was once knee deep in cocaine and neck deep in sluts. Although most of the cocaine has dried up, I am pretty sure he is still able to bang lots of sluts. We learn today that Corey has landed a role in an Australian film Titled “The Bloke Goes To Hollywood” we get the news from moviehole:

Feldman, whose last major studio release was “Bordello of Blood” in 1996, will play a Hollywood producer in the movie. Filming commences next month in L.A on the movie, and then its believed Feldman will be rejoining the cast and crew in July for the Melbourne part of the shoot.

Producer Cameron Miller tells The Eye that, “It’s basically about an Aussie bloke, who’s a stand-out comedian, who goes to Hollywood to seek his fame and fortune”.
Also onboard is wrestling star Roddy Piper (soon to be seen in the horror pic “Sin-Jin Smyth”) and “Fast and the Furious : Tokyo Drift” babe Nikki Griffin.

Feldman is going to be in a film with Roddy Piper – it is 1986 all over again, and I love it. I hope in this movie Roddy suplexes Feldman into a group of sluts and he accidentally gets his penis stuck in someone causing them to get pregnant and give birth immediately to Mr. T. With the placenta still attached, the nude Mr. T swiftly begins fighting a plot to assassinate the president; all the while Feldman tries to get his movie off the ground.

I like when Australians use the word “bloke” and I think the word “bloke” will be in this movie a lot. I also root for the underdog so I hope Feldman will kick ass in this and start working in films again. It is also a movie about a comedian which is always exciting for me; because I need role models in my life. I need guidance from Corey Feldman and Roddy Piper – I yearn for it like a baby bird with its gaping maw outstretched towards the sky, waiting for food from momma bird.