One of the things that most bothered me about the film post-viewing was actually pretty simple…while crystalizing my argument against its validity as a ‘Finding Personal Truth Through What Amounts To A Quest’ movie…while being pretty damning nonetheless. And it’s this:

The entire notion of ‘the bucket list’, each of the items, could have been accomplished/dealt with using a montage.

Think about it: that’s how simplistic, that’s how superficial, that’s how facile this aspect is in context of the film.

So; the very premise of the film is, at its core, disposable.

Then what’s left?

Is it some aspect of personal revelation that unfolds for the audience to witness? (And I have to interrupt myself right here to lay another Foundation Dictum on the filmmakers: If you have to TELL the audience something, especially in a No-Don’t-Use-Narration-Don’t-Go-There! voiceover…you are truly and beyond-redemption lost. Clearly, everyone involved has forgotten what the basic process behind great filmmaking is. Which, putting it in another arena, sex, amounts to creating circumstances that get the participants to respond NOT by bluntly telling them that they should -”Aren’t I sexy?!? Don’t I turn you on?!? You WILL be stimulated!” but by effectively manipulating them towards this reaction. Anyone taking umbrage at the notion of ‘manipulation’ in all great filmmaking needs to go sit in the Time-Out Chair…and then hie themselves to a Film 101 class afterwards.) Uh, no. Neither of the characters ‘change’. Jack already has an appreciation for the finer things in life, it’s not like he comes to his senses. (And by the way… A person’s character is revealed through ACTION, not monologue.) Morgan? Just what is it that he could possibly have transformed from? Or to?

Is it some kernel of wisdom that the audience leaves the theatre having been blessed with, something that, even if seemingly throwaway, can add to their day-to-day from that point on, at the most unexpected moments? (I’m reminded of ‘Life’s like a box of chocolates…’) Uh, no. Because that would require that the people behind this movie were actually capable of infusing the material with something more than connect-the-dots dexterity storytelling-wise, that would require that they be engaged in more than an exercise in parading two of our best-loved actors in a ticket-selling vehicle.

It’s not even provoking some wide-eyed marvelling at what Jack and Morgan get up to, showing the audience something new, something it’s never seen before…

…or providing stuff that the audience might identify with, make connections with, find some affinity for…

Honestly, I don’t know what we’re left with. Frankly, I’m still kindasorta in shock that they took a solid -and admittedly genre-specific- premise and made such an awful mess of it.

No…come to think of it… My shock has more to do with the ongoing blindness of filmgoers, of critics, that they don’t seem to have enough of an understanding of basic film precepts as to know when something truly badly constructed has been foisted on them. Because, more than anything else, we all deserve better than this dreck. Even Messrs Nicholson and Freeman.

(Private aside to Kristina: Drop me a line at probitionate gmail, would ya…? Communication is next to godliness, isn’t it? Or is that clean fingernails…?)

Dear Lord, you are NAILING what is wrong with this movie, bubba.

“There are no obstacles…save for Morgan Freeman’s wife’s disagreement with the entire endeavour”.

Man, I’m giving spoiler warning right now because I gotta talk about this. What bugged me out was that the film actually tries to paint her in a negative light because of said disagreement. Hello, her husband is dying and then decides to go run off with some strange man he just met. Wouldn’t you be concerned?! She wasn’t even being a bitch about it, but the manner in which this film tries to make her into an antagonist was honestly confusing and uncomfortable. All of those scenes with Morgan acting nasty to her, claiming that “I’ve earned time to myself!” were downright horrible. If I was dying, I wouldn’t want to be by myself. I wouldn’t want my husband to be by himself, either, if I ever get married and have to face this issue. If the movie was about Morgan and his wife going ’round the world, this thing could have had an honest shot. Morgan’s character comes across as a selfish bastard, particularly during that scene with the phone call where she basically begs Loony Rich Man to release her husband and let him come home to spend his dying days with his damn family.

And now that I think about it, that phone call thing makes that later scene where Jack sets it up for that hottie to hit on Morgan in the bar and try to fuck him even more disgusting than it already was. How the HELL am I supposed to feel any sympathy or uplifting feelings toward a man who is pushing another man to cheat on a woman who just called him not too long ago, worried as hell about her fucking DYING HUSBAND? It was too ridiculous for words, and I cannot believe that anyone would legitimately feel moved about anything in this movie. It was manipulative beyond words.

I know, I know, it’s just a movie, bu that REALLY bothered me.

I was ready.

On several occasions.

The pump was primed.

And then…

They completely and entirely botched the effort.

(Oh, and here’s a message to anyone THINKING about using a movie-ending voiceover by a character that DIES during the movie: DON’T! The effect is referred to as an unconscious mind-fuck.)

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080110/REVIEWS/801100301

This is a traditional Hero’s Journey tale. And as such, there must be trials, there must be tribulations in order for it to be engaging. There should be sacrifice, the protagonist(s) should undergo transformation, and finally, we should feel enriched by their journey.

‘Bucket List’ provides none of the above. There are no obstacles…save for Morgan Freeman’s wife’s disagreement with the entire endeavour, and the weather (!)…there’s little sacrifice (Jack had endless resources), there’s NO transformation in the characters (this alone would have provided a much more satisfying cinematic result) and Lord knows, you’d have to be extraordinarily undemanding in your expectations to have felt enriched by either of their journeys.

This movie COULD have been wonderful. Instead, it really didn’t try hard enough at any juncture, and so ended up being, as I commented earlier, facile.

And it reminded me how how superficial a director Reiner can be.

…facile.