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We’ve all said this phrase several times about one actor or another: “How on earth does this person keep getting parts in movies!?!?”. Maybe sometimes we see and understand why someone keeps getting parts… hell maybe we even love seeing them, but when it comes down to it we admit to ourselves and others that the person in question is actually talentless and probably doesn’t belong on the big screen.
For a multitude of reasons talentless people see to keep getting themselves on the big screen one way or another. Maybe it’s because they’re famous. Maybe it’s because they’re charming. Maybe it’s because their father is the producer on most of her films (see #3). Maybe it’s because they were on a famous TV show. Whatever the reason, they’re still talentless.
NOW REMEMBER, I’m not talking about the WORST actors. You can have an actor with talent, but they find a way to screw up everything they do. At the same time, you can have someone with no talent at all… but they find a way to not screw something up (I have no talent as a painter, but if you tell me to paint one straight red line on a wall… I can pull that off without too much trouble).
So here for your consideration is The Movie Blog’s top 10 most talentless actor’s in the movie business,
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#1 – ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER The big guy has to be in the #1 spot. I love him as much as anyone, but come on, let’s be honest here… a thespian he’s not. Smart man, loads of charm, zero in the talent department. |
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#2 – PARIS HILTON Is there anyone else on the planet who embodies the phrase “famous for being famous” more than this girl? Zero talent (if you were one of the 18 people who saw Hottie and the Nottie you know) and annoying as hell. |
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#3 – JESSICA SIMPSON Full marks for being VERY hot, and I’ll admit to even liking her singing voice, but dear heavens this girl can’t read a menu let alone a decent script. Hell, she couldn’t even play herself (dumb blonde) in Dukes of Hazzard. I guess it helps when your daddy produces movies. |
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#4 – STEVEN SEAGAL I liked Under Siege as much as the next guy, but holy crap if this guy had to play a corpse he’s find a way to ruin it. But don’t laugh… the guy has a couple of albums and they’re actually pretty good. |
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#5 – DANE COOK This guy is actually the inspiration for doing this post after seeing him bomb in the dreadful “My Best Friend’s Girl”. A comedian with absolutely ZERO acting ability who continues to embarass himself and those acting with him in every movie he appears in. |
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#6 – ORLANDO BLOOM If a pretty face equalled talent, then Orlando Bloom would have an Oscar by now. Instead, we now see the flat, reserved performance he gave in Lord of the Rings (which was perfect for that role) was really all he had anyway. He was poised to be a major superstar… then he made the mistake of letting us all see he had no talent. |
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#7 – ASHTON KUTCHER A big tip of the hat and much respect to any man sleeping with Demi Moore… but he should probably just stick to that. The guy is as believable as Sarah Palin (that’s not a good thing) |
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#8 – JON HEDER In the movie world, the phrase “One hit wonder” really does apply to Jon Heder. Mr. Dynamite blew up with his hit indie classic… and then showed he really had nothing else to offer. How can you be in a movie with Rob Schneider and be so bad that you make HIM look good? |
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#9 – CURTIS “50 CENT” JACKSON I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure why I don’t have him much higher on the talentless list. This guy is a door stop with all the depth of a saucer of milk. Absolutely brutal… has no place in the movies whatsoever. |
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#10 – CHRIS TUCKER The talent pool goes bone dry with this guy. But say what you will… the man knows how to negotiate and has one hell of an agent. Him getting $20+ million for Rush Hour 3 is one of the biggest blunders in film history. You could have put in a comatose train wreck victim in that role and it would have almost been as entertaining. |
So who would you add to this immortal list of the talentless? Remember, I’m not asking what actors you hate. It’s fine to hate Nic Cage, but don’t call the multi Oscar nominee and winner “talentless”. A list for the actors I HATE will be forthcoming. For now, love them or hate them… who should be on this talentless list?
