If someone uses a cell phone during a movie, I will personally tell them to close it and they listen!  Try it,

 it works!

About 4 years late on this, but here are a couple of my solutions to Theatre Problems: 1)Always carry an oversized purse to bring your own snacks.  I've successfully smuggled in mine and my movie going partner of choice's drink (bottles are our friends) and bag of candy on numerous occassions.  Once I even brought in a slice of pizza that the mall food court pizza place very graciously wrapped in tinfoil for me when I told them I needed to smuggle it into the theatre. 2)I've made clear a few times that the ticket taker will either hold my drink or popcorn (when I bought instead of smuggled) or reach in my pocket and get my ticket.  They always hold my stuff. 3)Being 5'0 and all of 110lbs, and barely able to see over the back of the seat, people are always too shocked when I stand up, turn around, and very loudly tell them to quit kicking my seat for them to yell back.  I never have repeat offenders.

I'd like to add to your list one of mine that I have no idea what the solution is:  girls who hyena laugh very loudly to reallllllllly stupid shit.  I don't even know.  It escapes me.

I often have to take my two younger brothers to see movies, which means I've been in theaters with a bunch of rowdy little kids.

Now, I have always taken issue with somebody getting mad at the kids themselves. The kids aren't the ones to blame here. I get irritated with the parents. Y'know, the ones who should be telling them not to do that in the first place. I have never personally spoken up, but I always believe that the parents should take control.

and to WhatABunchOfBullies!, I don't give two shits if it's a little kids movie. The parents should not just let their kids talk and scream and be loud throughout the movie. Seriously dude, You've got no leg to stand on with these arguments you make in your replies. I seriously think that you're just cranky from experiencing the onslaught of puberty. Don't worry, it'll be over before you know it.

You are SO immature for even typing this!

Seems like a good idea, but she begins by talking about proposals and then switches her terminology to “report” for the remainder of the clip. Proposals and reports are, of course, very different writing genres and so this may end up confusing people.

Our theater used to be pretty bad, lots of rude people, Talking, Yelling, Cell phones, people show hopping during the movie. You name it I have seen a lot. One lady fell asleep on my shoulder. So at the prices I pay for the movie it's no problem to go ask security to kick them out. I don't engage these idiots they are trouble and I just let someone else deal with it. However things have gotten much better with more security. The theater I'm sure was loosing a lot of patrons and money, I have gotten refunds because there were large groups of rude people or the sound level was WAY!! to loud and have probably gotten these refunds at least Eight times at $9ea. I remember one show that was really bad, in the middle of the show a Dad walks in and yells for his son, other people were talking and lots of phone lights, heck one lady was even changing a diaper in the walk way. There was a line at the managers window and he peeled off at least $350.00 in refunds. So I would say make the Theater responsible to maintain a good movie experience. Ever gotten Fleas at the Theater? makes you not eat the expensive popcorn.

I can't stand ghetto thugs in movie theaters, not much in my life makes me more angry, and when a good movie comes out in my local theater, there is nothing but thugs in the theater so you can't do or say anything against them or they might get their "manz" on you and next thing you know you're getting beat on by five or more guys at once. And Maryland never ever gives concealed weapons permits so you can never scare anyone away or defend yourself if need be if a thug finds it fit to attack you. The people who run the theater don't actually care because this is a normal thing for the theater. In another theater in Annapolis, my cousin left a movie because there was too much ignorance in one room so these two thugs had to fight for the crown in the middle of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And why would anyone clap in a movie, it's a movie not a fucking play. I can't even hardly go to the theater anymore cuz of all this obnoxious bullshit.

This happened to me the other day. I politely went 'shhhh'. Well they did exactly as you pointed out, started to mock me.

I turned around and looked the biggest and meanest directly in the eye and said, 'Keep it up, and will have a conversation with the theater manager'.

Everyone in the teather cheered!

Another time, I went to see A christmas Carol in 3D. There was a couple with a kid who was out of control. The child was running up and down the aisles, and letting out yells that just went right through you. Finally I said, 'Listen, I don't mean to be rude....but I just paid $11.00 for this 3D' experience....please...'. Well they made rude remarks to me, to which I replied 'FINE'....and I went and got the theater manager. By the time we made it back, the couple was leaving the theater on their own. I got some dirty looks from them.....but when I got in the theater....I got some thumbs up...

I never give the other person a warning. If they are disruptive, I get the usher and complain. Last year, after doing this to a gang on teenage kids, I found all six of them waiting for me outside the theater. I ignored them as i walked back to my car, until one of them put his hands on me. What they didn't know is I have a CHL and always carry. As soon as it became a matter of assault, I drew my gun, and had the intense pleasure of seeing two of them wet themselves, and then they all scattered like the pubescent cokroaches they were.

About a year ago friends and I went to go see Tropic Thunder and had about 4 or 5 little teenage princesses sitting behind us who wouldn't shut up. One of my friends turned around to ask them to shush and got the "why don't YOU mind YOUR OWN business" complete with ghetto head shake.

SO I turned around and stared at them; like you would a huge thick stake you want to feast on and savor. I slowly moved my head and shoulders closer to them; making my grin and eyes wider as I got closer and closer. At first I got the "what you want asshole" and I just smiled wider and let my eyes get bigger and started looking between their eyes and their chest. When I began licking my lips as well, They moved shortly there after.

Never underestimate being creepy when such can be used for good purposes.

I just wanted to say about the pricing of the food at the concession stands. Yes, they do take advantage of only allowing THEIR food into the theater so they can charge high prices and make a huge profit...BUT some of that price does go for the cleaning up of that stuff because about 80% of the movie theater leaves their shit on the floor.

I don't like it when someone spills a pop and the floor is sticky. then I have to move.

I also dislike cell phone lights. They are distracting.

The #1 thing you can do is say: Please be quiet.

If it doesn't work, then get an usher and afterwards ask for a free movie pass.

I'm going to buy my own Movie House and hire Gladiators to take people out,or maybe form a underground movie society. Ha!

I can't remember the last time I fully enjoyed a movie without someone being rude. So I called the AMC Theater in Indianapolis at which I recently attended. I simply wanted to know if they were working on new ways to keep people in check. Nothing new, and "hiring more ushers is out of the budget" said Bob. The manager was truly apologetic and offered to send me free passes. This was nice but not a solution. Bob said the best way is to come out (which means missing your flick) and tell management. Well good luck to all in your next movie outing.

My husband and I just had an experience tonight when we went to see Dark Knight. A middle aged Hispanic couple behind us kept talking in Spanish, and another Hispanic couple was right in the middle of the theater with their five kids, the youngest of which was about a year old. Between the baby crying and just making baby noises through the first half of the move we missed much of the dialoge in the movie. Finally, between both situations, my husband couldn't take it anymore and went and got an usher. Several other patrons stormed out to complain also. They sent someone in to ask the mother to take the baby out of the theatre. She still did not comply and the baby kept being disruptive for another five to ten minutes until some more patrons went out to complain. The usher went down again and insisted the woman take the baby out of the theatre. She then sent one of the older children, probably an eight or nine year old, out with the baby to the lobby. We then were able to watch the rest of the movie in peace, but we did find the manager after the movie was over and expressed our dissatisfaction, and he gave us two free movies passes. Bottom line, what ever happened to basic common sense courtesy? If your child is being disruptive you shouldn't have to be told to take them out of the theatre. A child of that age, in my opinion, should not be brought there in the first place. Get a babysitter! A baby should not be expected to be quiet for two and a half hours! And, what's the excuse for older people who should know better. If you want to talk, stay home!

Every TIME I go to the movies, there are annoying teens! BUT, I give a warning before the movie starts. I say outloud, very loudly "Really, don't talk during the movie. I'm not in the mood tonight and I really don't feel like going to jail."

Works like a charm :)

Movie going experience has become slighly better when I go to the more expensive mall in my beighbourhood. I also try to go earlier and on the week days.

There was a period there, even at the better shopping center where it was insufferable. I'm not sure what was done to improve things, but thank God! And I have to say, these were teenage gang bangers who felt completely entitled to ruin the movie for everone else. There was really no "shut up" option here, b/c everyone was too afraid or too politically correct to deal with it. Remember Bill Mahr's example. It's like watching movies with the mafia.

What I think is most disturbing, and mind you I really don't have a problem with violence in movies, are people laughing hysterically at violence in movies.

What I would give if movies just went to straight to video, or atleast you just had the option of watching them at home right away.

I also have a thing about saving whole frickin' rows of seats. Just shouldn't be allowed.

14.- Is fire code take it up with your fire marshal

Just bring a slingshot and and some milkduds. Revenge and complete anonymity.

Theater owners at least around here do not care at all. I have emailed them, written snail-mail to them and called them about certain situations and bad experiences, and I told them up front I do not want free tickets, or anything, I am NOT looking for anything.......because some people complain in hopes of getting a free pass or whatever, but i want to make sure they understand my experiences and what not are real and should be taken seriously. Not only do people just talk in general to their friends, I have people whose cell phones go off, people actually answering cell phones and carrying on conversations aloud, people texting which is just as annoying because its this bright white light right in front of you which is a total distraction.

The best ways to avoid this are to go on off hours. Go to a midday or rush hour show when there are fewer people there. It helps somewhat. I absolutely avoid the prime time first weekend shows because teenagers will likely be there and they are in general a loud bunch. But another group that consistently disrupts movies with talking, cell phones and texting is black people. Now some will say that is racist. It isn't. I go to a lot of movies. I go to all the big summer movies, and typically 1 movie a week year round because movies are a hobby and because of my work hours I'm often free when most of my friends are working. So what to do with yourself when nobody is around: go to the movies. I'd say black people by far outnumber the white people who disrupt movies for whatever reason.

I have even had movie theater employees laughing and talking in the projection room right behind the last row, loud enough that i could hear them and what they were saying to each other. To say the least that was ridiculous and should NEVER happen.

I live in a place where i have 2 theaters both owned by the same company (Wehrenberg) both equally distant from one another. I told them via phone call that there were tons of kids there high school age maybe some junior high, just everywhere blocking the doors, hanging out inside and out, not seeing a movie mind you just hanging out. They would often get rowdy and thus the theater attendance rapidly dropped there. This was I'd say 90% black kids. I told the theater ownership (some vice president actually) about the issue and wasn't 2 months later that police from 3 different towns had to be called din for a huge riot there with these kids who started a huge fight. This theater was thus referred to as the black theater. Now the same thing is happening at the other theater..........it wont be long until i cant go there and see a movie either.

Is it too much to ask for to have ushers or if need be security at theaters so 1 you can feel safe and 2 enjoy a movie with as few rude distractions as possible?

Sounds like those people who won't shut up need to be punched in the face. Somewhere nice and visible so the "message" sticks.

Becuase nobody expects to get punched, nevermind in a threatre.

When I Seen Spider-Man(2002) in theaters at this F**king L.A. Theater which is bigger than Orange County's, First I Was talking to my mom quitley and some douchebag tells me to shush for What! and i talk to her again, he Shushes me Again! Ma Threw a piece of popcorn on him and they Settled the Score out of the Theater, Ma Talk to that F*g sayin' "You don't tell me to Shush" if anyone be's like that to me in the theater, I'll Cap or Dice those Mother F**king Sonofaf**kingbitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last summer my friend and i went to see Halloween on opening night. we made one mistake. we went to the NICE theater. keep in mind people, ghetto rat thugs LOVE nice things...so they can wreck them. like what's left of South Jersey.

anyway, the entire time it's all screaming and hollaring, nobody is saying a damn thing. the opening tune playing is God of Thunder by KISS, and sure enough, they start hollaring about the director being racist because they're playing metal. i felt the need to yell "YOU WILL NOT BESMIRTCH THE GOOD NAME OF KISS!". and people loved it.

then about halfway in (if that) there's a blood curdling scream...not in the movie. then the sounds of a brawl, about 4 minutes later the lights came on and i look back. there's a fullscale prison riot in the theater. they're not going after those who attacked the first person, they're going after ANYBODY around them. after about 5 more minutes the manager comes in and just tells them that the movie will now resume until they calm down.

how did the lovely darlings respond you ask?

somebody threw a bottle towards the front. a filled bottle rocketing towards the front. unfortunatly, it hit another thug who's posse proceeded to retaliate full tilt dumbass. i grab Les by the arm and drag her out. as we're waiting there to get our money back, the riot spills into the lobby, and cops come in pepper spraying everybody.

since then, i don't feel guilty about saying something to them. you just have to keep in mind that the lights WILL be turned on, and you don't wanna be standing there telling them you're gonna kick their ass if they don't shut up, because you're gonna be arrested for making a terroristic threat. you just have to keep it simple. a nice "SHUT THE F**K UP GODDAMNIT!" works just fine.

...aaaaand I screwed up my post. But you see what I was getting at.

This kid was making smart-ass remarks after every other line during "The Mist", so I yelled at him, "Shut up I will SHUT YOU UP."

Not another peep out of him for the rest of the movie.

I can only hope to kick somebody. But yeah, the judge isn't gonna like that.

I do not understand why people should feel like a rat by going to management in a theatre to complain. You paid your money to see the movie and not to listen to a bunch of chatty, inbred females go on about their lack of dates. Obviously not male would go out with them to a movie becasue they talk through it. Back to management. The simple solution is to go ask for a manager and not the usher. Tell this person the situation and then ask for your money back as you can not see the movie and you are now wasting more of your time and missing even more of the movie. Management will probably go in and tell the chatty cathys to be quiet or they will be removed from the theatre. You should get your money back and probably free passes to another movie.

Being a rat can pay a reasonable dividend. I have to do this because if I don't I get really nasty and I start yelling after asking twice and I personally do not care if other people get upset as they are not the ones sitting behind or in front of them.

Another option is to join in their conversation and comment on everything they say, which should annoy them no end. If they ask you to bud out tell them that you might as well join in after all you can't hear the movie so you might as well get into their drama. This usually pisses the talkers off.

A few years ago I went to see a movie with my wife and we had a couple talking behind us and at the crucial time they gave away a crucial scene which obviously pissed me off. I turned around and politely suggested, that if they wanted to talk throughout the movie, that they should just wait for the video to come out and they could watch it at home and then they could tlak all they wanted through the film. The guy turned to his girl and said..."You know that's a good."

idea." Some people you just can't phase.

The cost to the theatres was I just stopped going for quite a while and rented videos instead.

Now, I only go to movies maybe once or twice a year unless something really big comes along. Now I usually only go to smaller theatres where managers tend to care more for their patrons.

Final suggestion.....go to an IMAX theatre because the sound is so impressive that most people don't talk throughout the film. I have never heard noisy people at IMAX.

I will either move to a different seat or go tell a manager and get a free pass. Most new movies play many times a day on multiple screens so it's not hard to find another option. And this reminds me of something Bill Maher said when he was on the Howard Stern show, he was at the movies with a date and he told some teenagers to be quiet. They stopped talking but when the movie was over they beat him up in the parking lot in front of his date.

Everybody listen up here, because the solution is simple--invest in a taser and TASER the $%@!ers!!!!!!!!!!!!! Muahhahahahahaha. That will keep the chattering biotches quiet and people in the cinema will think you are a hero. Just make sure your movie going friends have them too, if there are more than noisemakers together. Use it on talky girl cliques, 5 to 55 year old chair kickers and flash it to parents who bring their horror-phobic toddlers to show you mean business. TASER them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

I too have always HATED whenever people clap and cheer during scenes in movies. It's retarded.

I normally level with the people- "Hey, buddy, I'm a critic (and I truly am and award-winning critic, as my name suggests. Btw, I used to be Mofo Toshio) and have to concentrate on this movie. Believe me, I know the movie sucks, but if u could just talk a little bit quieter I'd appreciate that." Or, like Doug, I'll crack a rude joke.

most of this shit WILL happen if you go friday night or sometimes saturday night

@ ANGELA

LOL! thats just fucked up!! haha!! but hey not bad!