I Am Not Destined To Be On TV

Seeing how The Movie Blog is primarily a BLOG about our thoughts, opinions and EXPERIENCES with movies and the movie world, I thought I would share this with you guys so you can laugh along with me at how much I seemed to be destined for failure in the TV world.

Some of you longer Movie Blog readers will know some of this back story, but for those of you who may not, here it is. A while ago Doug and I got contacted by the producers of a couple of very popular TV shows on TLC… they were interested in developing a new Movie TV show with us. We were pretty excited, we talked about it, went back and forth with them… and then we even signed development contracts with them. We were SURE that within 8 months we’d be TV stars. Yeah…. well nothing ever came of it. STRIKE 1.

Then some time later, we got contacted about a new Movie show on VH1. They were interested in looking at us for the show… they even flew us down to New York to film some audition tapes. It went great and I even eventually found out I had been selected to be a host on the new show. Yay! They just told me to wait as they worked out the filming schedule… so I waited… and waited… and waited… about 4 months later we found out they decided not to do the show. STRIKE 2.

Now, just last week I got contacted by another US network. Like the others they were looking at doing a new Movie themed TV show and they were interested in looking at me to host it. Great. Fantastic. We went back and forth a little (although I didn’t know too much about the show) and then booked me to go and meet with them tomorrow here in Los Angeles to do some read throughs and screen tests. They still couldn’t tell me much about the show itself… but they did email me some things they wanted me to read during the screen test. Here’s what they sent me:

Hey everybody I’m _________ and welcome to (I removed the name of the show) on (I removed the name of the network)
Some movies are memorable because of the acting, some for the story, but some are best remembered for their pitch-perfect soundtracks…

Our feature tonight “Almost Famous” is maybe the best example of that EVER

Not only is this THE movie about rock life in the 70’s, but the soundtrack features the biggest and most influential artists of the decade – Elton John, Led Zeppelin, Stevie Wonder – just to name a few.

Now, If you’re a music-freak, and I know you are, you probably think you know this movie inside and out – but wait til you see it (Name of show) style.

Check out the cool info about the movie that pops up at the bottom of the screen, and you will learn some awesome new stuff that you can text to your friends, put on your facebook page and generally show off with.

So sit back, crank up and tune in for the (Name of show) presentation of “Almost Famous”

Dear sweet Texas virgins… how TERRIBLE does that show sound??? Can you imagine someone saying that fluff? I especially wanted to hurl when reading “Check out the cool info about the movie that pops up at the bottom of the screen, and you will learn some awesome new stuff that you can text to your friends, put on your facebook page and generally show off with.”

So needless to say, I’m canceling my audition/meeting/screen test tomorrow. Yes I’m a media whore and would love to be on TV. Yes I want to increase The Movie Blog’s profile… but there are things even a whore won’t do. Some will say no to double anal, and that’s pretty much how I’d rate doing a show like this one. No thanks.

So mark this one down as STRIKE 3. I’m such a frigging loser. Everything (tv wise) that comes my way that I get excited about seems destined to end up not happening or being total crap. Guess mom was right… I have a face destined for radio. :P

Comment with Facebook

16 thoughts on “I Am Not Destined To Be On TV

  1. Maybe they wanted to see what you could do with the WORST material given? Kinda like, “Hey, if he an sell these few paragraphs of garbage, IMAGINE what he could do with something that is actually well written!”

    I would go.

    Or you could take a comedic approach… Before the audition, put a walkie talkie down your pants… Walk up, start the audition by briefly chatting about the film, then ask “your crotch” (which you can give a wierdo nickname to) what he thinks… and have Doug (off camera somewhere) read the “script” that was given… hilarity ensues… they will love it. Everyone loves a talking penis.

  2. Let me guess… TBS? TNT? Sounds like something they’d do… I don’t know about canceling that though… go to the audition and bring your friggin camera. Then do the whole read like Buzz Lightyear.

  3. That sounds like a show most of us who use our brain would avoid like the plague proud of you Campea for not settling. We love you just where you are. Don’t lose hope though it will happen for you but when it does you can take pride it will happen more on your own terms and not so much on theirs.

  4. Wow John, gotta admire your integrity.
    That of course sounds god awful, but hell, would I read that shit from a prompter for the sake of being on TV and earning good amounts of cash for it? Probably.
    Something else will come along I’m sure. But hey, why do you wanna be on TV anyway? The internet is the place to be for modern and hip media pundits anyway. TV is dying and in about 10 years it will be dead for good.

  5. Oddly enough, I just browsed through a posting on Craigslist looking for guys to undergo ultrasound examinations of their genitals for a local urology convention.

    Of course, I’m busy that weekend, I’m just sayin’.

  6. That was some pretty horrible, crappy writing. Did you ask whether they know that the strike is over so they hire soem good writers again? Too bad for. Good luck in the future.

  7. Don’t worry about it… it’s perfect timing really. I’m a TV producer and I think YOU are perfect for the next project I’m working on. Basically, you play a movie critic who fights crime. Instead of weapons and super powers, you use your vast knowledge and opinions on current cinema topics to stop the baddies. I know… sounds too good to be true but your the perfect guy for the job and I PROMISE that this project wont fall through.

    We start filming next week, in my basement. I’ll see you there. Oh yeah… do you mind not getting paid? We’ll work out the details.

  8. Ha ha ha, well if you became skinny as hell, wore a blonde wig and put on a typical MTV female bubblehead voice then you could make that monologue work but otherwise i agree that it’s not you.

    Look, if it’s any consolation to you, when the exception of drama, sci-fi and the occasional comedy show, youtube and web videos are better than 80% of what’s on TV (both your side and my side of the pond)……and you’re on Youtube Mr Campea, all the time.

    So stop feelin sorry for yo’self fool:)

  9. I know it sucks, but that is a funny story!

    Don’t worry about it dude. You got offered bad shows or shows that didn’t end up working out. So what? Ask me how many shows I’ve been offered, crap or not! I’ll give you a guess. It’s the number just before 1.

Leave a Reply