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August 10, 2008

Star Wars: Clone Wars Review

— Posted by John Campea

Star-Wars-Clone-Wars-Review.jpgThanks for checking out our Star Wars: Clone Wars review.

Even most die hard Star Wars Apologists (of which I am one) admit to one degree or another that the latest set of Star Wars movies (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith) were a mild disappointment at best and a complete raping of our childhoods at worst. The name Jar Jar Binks will go down in cinematic history as perhaps the most hated and despised character ever to hit the silver screen and George Lucas saw his almost religious like following of worshipers who saw him as a cinematic deity lose their faith almost overnight like Dorothy pulling back the curtain to reveal the true identity of the Wizard of Oz.

So now comes an animated feature called “Star Wars: Clone Wars” that takes place between episodes 2 and 3, directed by someone else and once again raising our hopes that perhaps a good Star Wars movie could exist again… or making us brace ourselves for the raping of our fond memories yet again. So did Star Wars: Clone Wars continue to defile our childhood memories and the original trilogy as Jar Jar did? You know what… it actually didn’t.

THE GENERAL IDEA

The war between the separatists and the Republic continues to intensify and grows increasingly close. Any advantage could become pivotal to either side. Many systems still remain neutral in the conflict as each side tries to win over more supporters. In the midst of this situation, hyperspace trade routes in the Outer Rim Territories (under the control of the Hutts) is becoming even more important. When Jabba The Hutt’s son is kidnapped (yes you read that right… Jabba’s son), the Jedi Council sees an opportunity and offers to send Jedi to rescue the Hutt if Jabba would be willing to allow the Republic to use the hyperspace routes in the Outer Rim. Anakin Skywalker is assigned his own Padawan Learner, a young girl named Ahsoka Tano and the two set out to rescue the Hutt. Little do they know, it’s all a part of Palpatine and Doku’s plan.

THE GOOD

The action of the film was far more intense than I was expecting. There were so many giant set pieces and grand action sequences that the film hardly ever stopped to catch its breath. And it’s not just that there was a LOT of action… it was all really good action. From the giant space battles to the huge ground troop battles, the lightsaber duels and the Jedi throwing themselves into swarms of battle droid fights… it was all really quite spectacular. To me, it was easily the most action packed Star Wars movie to date, and maybe the most action packed Sci Fi film I’ve ever seen (animated or otherwise). It was fantastic. My hats off to them.

As much as I worried about how the animation looked in the trailers, I’ve got to admit within about 3 minutes I was totally sold on it and thought it worked and looked quite beautiful. Yeah, the facial animation could have been a lot better, but aside from that I thought the landscapes, the structures, the ships, the movements and the environments in general were all done wonderfully in my opinion, but I can see why others may differ.

THE BAD

I don’t really know where to start. First of all they butchered the theme music. HOW THE HELL DO YOU BUTCHER THE CLASSIC AND IMMORTAL STAR WARS MUSIC?!?!?! After the words “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away” appear, you expect to hear that immortal music… but instead it was some pseudo variation of it… this was the movie serving notice that this was NOT a true star wars movie.

Instead of the iconic opening crawl setting the stage, some 1960’s game show announcer does some ass awful narration to start the film. I wanted to claw out my own ears he sounded so bad. Damn… and we’re only 30 seconds into the movie!

The dialog was beyond horrendous. I’m not even going to go into it.

The new Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, was so freaking annoying… so “modern youth”… so bitch like I wanted to climb into the screen, kick her in her little kid ribs and shove a lightsaber down her annoying little throat. She was NOT what a padawan or Jedi is supposed to be… not even close. She was so mouthy she made Anakin look like the Dali Lama of Padawans. It made me angry whenever she spoke. Her action sequences were sweet… but they should have kept a gag on her.

I’m sorry… but the main plot is Jedis rescuing Jabba The Hutt’s kidnapped son?!?!?! LAME!!

OVERALL

Ok, here’s the thing. Once I accepted that this film was unapologetically a little kids movie and I moved beyond my rage about that annoying fact, I actually found myself being able to have some fun with it. Yes, there are many rotten things wrong with this “movie”, but as I mentioned there was a hell of a lot of really high quality action and “fun” that had me being entertained despite the weaknesses. I refuse to call this a true “Star Wars” movie, and I’ll never accept it as cannon, but for what it was, by the time the credits roled I didn’t mind it too much. Overall I give Star Wars: Clone Wars a 6 out of 10.

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  • http://retaliators.wordpress.com/ Matt Keith

    @” You know what, there is something wrong with all of you. Sure maybe the music is bad, or the mon-clauis is stupid but I think your all wrong.”

    Um, how can we be wrong with our OPINION? And theres nothing wrong with us, its just that film is SUBJECTIVE.

    • kyle

      You know i agree Mr. Keith.

  • kyle

    Well I disagree with all of you. Star Wars The Clone Wars is the best Star Wars I have ever seen. You know what, there is something wrong with all of you. Sure maybe the music is bad, or the mon-clauis is stupid but I think your all wrong. Oh and Jason, I’m a star wars geek or huge fan, what ever you want to call me, but sating that if you dont hate this new star wars your not a real fan, that is insulting. People have different thoughts then you people do. One other thing, lay off the cussing, it doesnt make you cool. That goes for each and every one of you.

  • Obwan

    I agree with “Mysterious” & “Hoang”… its all about the force that keeps u going… everything has good n bad in it… i was waiting for some star wars substance to be thrown at me… i enjoyed… Enjoyed the series too !!
    Let the force be with all : ).

  • Hoang

    Wow, i can’t believe people keep wasting time posting comments like this.
    I guess i’m only a small starwars fan. I haven’t even watched all Starwars movies, only a few of them, but i just love it. I mean, it doesn’t necessarily need an excellent plot/acting/whatsoever, it just keeps us entertained, by the idea of a fantasy world where people can control the power of the force, which has long been in our dreams since childhood. Honestly, I don’t see any problems in this cartoon. Why the Jedi rescue Jaba’s son? Just see it, and you will know why. Lucas has made the reason simple that a kid can understand. ‘Sky guy’? What is the problem with that? Throw it away and you’ll see how boring the voice acting would become.
    Are you people going to watch this 100 times? If not, then go and do something else. Just don’t waste your time overwhelming your kids.

  • fuckthismoive

    this movie sucks donkey penis!~!

    DO NOT WATCH IT, ONLY IF U DONT LIKE STARWARS!!!

  • Mysterious C-3Po

    >Even most die hard Star Wars Apologists (of >which I am one) admit to one degree or another >that the latest set of Star Wars movies (The >Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and >Revenge of the Sith) were a mild disappointment

    It is a fact that there are fractions like there is also a fact that there are a fraction that doesn’t think that the prequels were disappointment. Also you haven’t included the young generations that discovered Star Wars Universe through prequels. If you try to talk with the young ones (like we were during Original Trilogy) you could find that their view about prequels is completly different. And as I said there is older fraction that is strong and that is on the same front.

    >at best and a complete raping of our childhoods >at worst. The name Jar Jar Binks will go down >in cinematic history as perhaps the most hated >and despised character ever to hit the silver >screen

    It think this is based mostly on a Internet hype at the time without arguments. The same thing has repated itself with the great movie Valkyrie again without any solid arguments. Negative reviews started long before the premiere, like there was a case with TPM. Most surveys shows that Jar Jar was within young viewers funny and great characther – comic relief charachter like C3PO in the original trilogy. It is also great that George Lucas has stroke back to those critics as we can see even some Jar Jar episodes in the Carton Network new series and that was a great revenge for the critics. Jar Jar is back.

    >You know what… it actually didn’t.

    Altough there was some devided opinions during the Cinema distribution of Clone Wars Cartoon after the complete aired 1st season I think there is a hardly room for a skepticism left now. Even the veterans on milleniumfalcon.com were excited with each and new episode.

    Altough the most prequel skepticism was diminished after the ROTS distribution it was interesting still to see that there are active separatists in the review arena. It reminds me on the age of original trilogy when people were saying that The Empire Strikes Back was bad compared with ANH. After that debate transfered to ROTJ where some people were again saying that ROTJ was disappointment. Then few years went by and now the Original Trilogy is untouchouble union. Funny how times makes things to bond together. There is no doubt in my mind that in the future all 6 Star Wars films will be reviewed as a union saga – and it is already happening. The people who are still pushing for distinction will remain only as a silly footnote in history. It was interesting to watch the debate anyway.

    Way to go Lucasfilm.

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