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September 22, 2008

The 10 Most Talentless People In Movies

— Posted by John Campea

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We’ve all said this phrase several times about one actor or another: “How on earth does this person keep getting parts in movies!?!?”. Maybe sometimes we see and understand why someone keeps getting parts… hell maybe we even love seeing them, but when it comes down to it we admit to ourselves and others that the person in question is actually talentless and probably doesn’t belong on the big screen.

For a multitude of reasons talentless people see to keep getting themselves on the big screen one way or another. Maybe it’s because they’re famous. Maybe it’s because they’re charming. Maybe it’s because their father is the producer on most of her films (see #3). Maybe it’s because they were on a famous TV show. Whatever the reason, they’re still talentless.

NOW REMEMBER, I’m not talking about the WORST actors. You can have an actor with talent, but they find a way to screw up everything they do. At the same time, you can have someone with no talent at all… but they find a way to not screw something up (I have no talent as a painter, but if you tell me to paint one straight red line on a wall… I can pull that off without too much trouble).

So here for your consideration is The Movie Blog’s top 10 most talentless actor’s in the movie business,

talentless-Arnold.jpg #1 – ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
The big guy has to be in the #1 spot. I love him as much as anyone, but come on, let’s be honest here… a thespian he’s not. Smart man, loads of charm, zero in the talent department.
talentless-Paris.jpg #2 – PARIS HILTON
Is there anyone else on the planet who embodies the phrase “famous for being famous” more than this girl? Zero talent (if you were one of the 18 people who saw Hottie and the Nottie you know) and annoying as hell.
Talentless-Jessica.jpg #3 – JESSICA SIMPSON
Full marks for being VERY hot, and I’ll admit to even liking her singing voice, but dear heavens this girl can’t read a menu let alone a decent script. Hell, she couldn’t even play herself (dumb blonde) in Dukes of Hazzard. I guess it helps when your daddy produces movies.
Talentless-Seagal.jpg #4 – STEVEN SEAGAL
I liked Under Siege as much as the next guy, but holy crap if this guy had to play a corpse he’s find a way to ruin it. But don’t laugh… the guy has a couple of albums and they’re actually pretty good.
Talentless-Dane.jpg #5 – DANE COOK
This guy is actually the inspiration for doing this post after seeing him bomb in the dreadful “My Best Friend’s Girl”. A comedian with absolutely ZERO acting ability who continues to embarass himself and those acting with him in every movie he appears in.
Talentless-Orlando.jpg #6 – ORLANDO BLOOM
If a pretty face equalled talent, then Orlando Bloom would have an Oscar by now. Instead, we now see the flat, reserved performance he gave in Lord of the Rings (which was perfect for that role) was really all he had anyway. He was poised to be a major superstar… then he made the mistake of letting us all see he had no talent.
Talentless-Ashton.jpg #7 – ASHTON KUTCHER
A big tip of the hat and much respect to any man sleeping with Demi Moore… but he should probably just stick to that. The guy is as believable as Sarah Palin (that’s not a good thing)
Talentless-Heder.jpg #8 – JON HEDER
In the movie world, the phrase “One hit wonder” really does apply to Jon Heder. Mr. Dynamite blew up with his hit indie classic… and then showed he really had nothing else to offer. How can you be in a movie with Rob Schneider and be so bad that you make HIM look good?
Talentless-50.jpg #9 – CURTIS “50 CENT” JACKSON
I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure why I don’t have him much higher on the talentless list. This guy is a door stop with all the depth of a saucer of milk. Absolutely brutal… has no place in the movies whatsoever.
talentless-Tucker.jpg #10 – CHRIS TUCKER
The talent pool goes bone dry with this guy. But say what you will… the man knows how to negotiate and has one hell of an agent. Him getting $20+ million for Rush Hour 3 is one of the biggest blunders in film history. You could have put in a comatose train wreck victim in that role and it would have almost been as entertaining.

So who would you add to this immortal list of the talentless? Remember, I’m not asking what actors you hate. It’s fine to hate Nic Cage, but don’t call the multi Oscar nominee and winner “talentless”. A list for the actors I HATE will be forthcoming. For now, love them or hate them… who should be on this talentless list?

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  • JLH

    Before I forget:8)Jessica Alba:Bikinis and nothing else;9)Greg Kinnear:Looks like he’s out of place in every movie/TV show he;’s in;the lightweight’s lightweight.10)Ryan O’Neal:I know, he’s not in much anymore but, really, it was all downhill after Rodney Harrington (TV’s Peyton Place); hard to believe he was once considered for the role of Michael Corleone–can you imagine!NO.

  • JLH

    Before I forget:8)Jessica Alba:Bikinis and nothing else;9)Greg Kinnear:Looks like he’s out of place in every movie/TV show he;’s in;10)Ryan O’Neal:I know, he’s not in much anymore but, really, it was all downhill after Rodney Harrington (TV’s Peyton Place); hard to believe he was once considered for the role of Michael Corleone–can you imagine!NO.

  • JLH

    P Hilton, Jordan!! You guys are taking it way too easy.1)Chevy Chase:This guy cashed in immediately after becoming known but before we discovered all he did was Jerry Ford;2)Julia Roberts:Walks through all her roles w/a million$$ smile–catch her in Duplicity(and weep for Clive Owen);3)Wesley Snipes:A poser, literally acts like he’s admiring himself in a mirror;4)Scarlett Johansson:Quick, make all the films & $$ you can before they catch on that fleshy good looks are not talent;5)Ben Stiller:A schmuck born of famous parents;6)Jamie Lee Curtis:Another would-be porn star except for her pedigree;7)Steve Guttenberg:The most embarrassing A-lister(once upon a time) ever;Tarantino will never rediscover him.

  • nelson

    the entire cast of the Twilight movies except Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen

  • john

    More obvious choices for the nr1 spot: Seth Rogen, Keanu Reeves, Ben affleck, Jennifer Lopez and Van damme.

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