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We’ve all said this phrase several times about one actor or another: “How on earth does this person keep getting parts in movies!?!?”. Maybe sometimes we see and understand why someone keeps getting parts… hell maybe we even love seeing them, but when it comes down to it we admit to ourselves and others that the person in question is actually talentless and probably doesn’t belong on the big screen.
For a multitude of reasons talentless people see to keep getting themselves on the big screen one way or another. Maybe it’s because they’re famous. Maybe it’s because they’re charming. Maybe it’s because their father is the producer on most of her films (see #3). Maybe it’s because they were on a famous TV show. Whatever the reason, they’re still talentless.
NOW REMEMBER, I’m not talking about the WORST actors. You can have an actor with talent, but they find a way to screw up everything they do. At the same time, you can have someone with no talent at all… but they find a way to not screw something up (I have no talent as a painter, but if you tell me to paint one straight red line on a wall… I can pull that off without too much trouble).
So here for your consideration is The Movie Blog’s top 10 most talentless actor’s in the movie business,
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#1 – ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER The big guy has to be in the #1 spot. I love him as much as anyone, but come on, let’s be honest here… a thespian he’s not. Smart man, loads of charm, zero in the talent department. |
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#2 – PARIS HILTON Is there anyone else on the planet who embodies the phrase “famous for being famous” more than this girl? Zero talent (if you were one of the 18 people who saw Hottie and the Nottie you know) and annoying as hell. |
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#3 – JESSICA SIMPSON Full marks for being VERY hot, and I’ll admit to even liking her singing voice, but dear heavens this girl can’t read a menu let alone a decent script. Hell, she couldn’t even play herself (dumb blonde) in Dukes of Hazzard. I guess it helps when your daddy produces movies. |
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#4 – STEVEN SEAGAL I liked Under Siege as much as the next guy, but holy crap if this guy had to play a corpse he’s find a way to ruin it. But don’t laugh… the guy has a couple of albums and they’re actually pretty good. |
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#5 – DANE COOK This guy is actually the inspiration for doing this post after seeing him bomb in the dreadful “My Best Friend’s Girl”. A comedian with absolutely ZERO acting ability who continues to embarass himself and those acting with him in every movie he appears in. |
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#6 – ORLANDO BLOOM If a pretty face equalled talent, then Orlando Bloom would have an Oscar by now. Instead, we now see the flat, reserved performance he gave in Lord of the Rings (which was perfect for that role) was really all he had anyway. He was poised to be a major superstar… then he made the mistake of letting us all see he had no talent. |
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#7 – ASHTON KUTCHER A big tip of the hat and much respect to any man sleeping with Demi Moore… but he should probably just stick to that. The guy is as believable as Sarah Palin (that’s not a good thing) |
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#8 – JON HEDER In the movie world, the phrase “One hit wonder” really does apply to Jon Heder. Mr. Dynamite blew up with his hit indie classic… and then showed he really had nothing else to offer. How can you be in a movie with Rob Schneider and be so bad that you make HIM look good? |
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#9 – CURTIS “50 CENT” JACKSON I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure why I don’t have him much higher on the talentless list. This guy is a door stop with all the depth of a saucer of milk. Absolutely brutal… has no place in the movies whatsoever. |
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#10 – CHRIS TUCKER The talent pool goes bone dry with this guy. But say what you will… the man knows how to negotiate and has one hell of an agent. Him getting $20+ million for Rush Hour 3 is one of the biggest blunders in film history. You could have put in a comatose train wreck victim in that role and it would have almost been as entertaining. |
So who would you add to this immortal list of the talentless? Remember, I’m not asking what actors you hate. It’s fine to hate Nic Cage, but don’t call the multi Oscar nominee and winner “talentless”. A list for the actors I HATE will be forthcoming. For now, love them or hate them… who should be on this talentless list?
everyone forgot to put the worst ones of them all
1. channing tatum /kristen stewart .... blank faces always looking like their high emotionless acting worst of all time.
megan fox
mark wahlberg
scarlett johansson
matthew mcconaughey
angelina jolie
all of their use thier so called good looks to get by in acting
the entire cast of the Twilight movies except Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen
More obvious choices for the nr1 spot: Seth Rogen, Keanu Reeves, Ben affleck, Jennifer Lopez and Van damme.
Talentless but lucky I would say.
Few more:
REALLLY BAD:
- Ben Affleck!!
- Quentin Tarantino - he should ban himself from performing. He comes across as shy, frustrated and slightly disturbed ... someone who is willing to reenact his violent and gory stories for real!
JUST BAD:
- Ashton Kutcher - sorry, he aint any impressive even in the Butterfly Effect
HALF GOOD/HALF BAD:
- Nick Cage - fell in love with him in 'Leaving Las Vegas', he has been getting progressively worse ever since. His badly dyed hair and excessive make-up make his performances painful to watch ...
- Tom Hanks
- Will Smith - acts like a kid on too much sugar
- Tom Cruise - like his old movies, the only new movie where he was surprisingly impressive was the comedy 'Tropic Thunder' ..
- Mark Walhbetg - still not sure what to think of him, he spoiled the 'Lovely Bones' for me
- Matthew Mcconaughey - ?? as much as I love his looks, am not sure about his acting
OVERATED CATEGORY/women:
- Rachel Weisz ... not impressive on screen, might be all right in theatre
- Angelina Jolie: I suspect she was all right at the beginning of her career, but lost the acting capacity for several reasons. When on screen, the only face she has been able to pull for several years is the 'I am so beautiful and so famous for it, whether I like it or not' face, which overwhelms her acting completely
...
I'm not sure if anyone said this 'cause i saw the list and went straight here but how bout Megan Fox, Nick Swardson (after benchwarmers, just go with it, things like that) and Ice Cube, oh Dolph Lundgren too. one more thing Brandon Routh whose acting the two films he's known sucked so hard
I'd take out Arnold & Segal. Neither is a great actor, but there is talent to what they do (or used to do). I'd probably also remove Paris & the two musicians. Like many others have said they're not really actors (don't have that many roles between them). I wouldn't then inclued Justin Timberlake either. He's got more roles than those others and isn't nearly as bad as people are making him out to be.
Ones that I would include (in no particular order):
Keanu Reeves
Jessica Alba
Megan Fox
Hayden Christensen
Halle Berry
Robert Pattinson
Chris Tucker is amazing in everything I've ever seen that included him. Ruby Rod in The 5th Element was priceless!
I would actually nominate his co-star from the Rush Hour movies for this list, though. I really like Jackie Chan's older stuff, but I feel embarrassed for the guy whenever he tries acting without being in the middle of a fight. I kind of cringe when he speaks.
Where is Elijah Wood? I love every movie hes been in that Ive seen but he has no talent at all
he has one look (like real life Zoolander!)
I want to punch his stupid sad face when he squints up his eyebrows and tries to look pathetic
Its no surprise hes pathetic or weak or a loser in Green Street, LOTR and Eternal Sunshine
I agree with this list except for the ranking, I mean rly Paris Hilton should be number 1! I don't think ASHTON KUTCHER is that bad (I liked the ''butterfly effect'').I don't know why some ppl think that Chris Tucker is funny, I mean does speaking none sense rly fast make you funny?
But rly why aren't Van Samme, Jackie Chan, Eddie Murphy , Steve Martin (the latter 2 for their latest movies) included?
im surprised why tom cruise, david caruso, jenny garth, tori spelling,hayden christensen n dwayne' the rock' johnson are MISSING in the list.................. ... talk bout wasting big-budget movies/show n our time..........plenty more out there just cant think of any more right now
I like Arnold & Chris Tucker( Funny as hell)
You're missing...
Megan Fox
Jessica Alba
Mark Walhberg( He's not a good actor)
Madonna(Worst actress of all time!)
Elvis(Worst actor of all time!)
Keanu? Keanu? He was great in Point Break!!! :)
www.nerdoh.co.uk
Okay, Keanu is an obvious choice for #1. How he didn't even make the list makes the rest of it circumspect. And how in the world did David "King of corny one-liners" Carusso not get tapped. Every time the guy opens his mouth the cheese-o-meter goes off the charts! I doubt he could get a lead role in a high school play because of his total lack of acting ability yet he somehow finds himself on prime time tv.
As for what Dana said above; "and what about McCain and Palin, they are currently the worst actors on the planet…" I would have to agree with her. They're not actors at all; they're very genuine and very unlike the too slick and polished Obamassiah who has all the substance of an empty suit when lacking a teleprompter.
where's Shannon Elizabeth?!?!
i have to agree with No.2 spot...lol...paris hilton is talentless..she's only good in projecting in front of camera..what's with miss paris hilton? She's only using her charm..lol..
For sheer talentlessness, it is hard to beat Keanu Reeves. There's never been a single performance from him that was anything other than inept.
The man is devoid of talent. Plain pure and simple.
I think the Arnie inclusion is a little harsh!!!
Isnt acting about making people believe in the roll that you are portraying?
Arnie as a Terminator is sruely the most convincing roll i have ever seen in a film!! Arnie killing an alien in Predator was pure talent (in that sort of roll). Commando - no one else could even attempt to do it any better.
OK, he wouldnt be any good in Titanic, but would DiCaprio really be able to be an evil, focussed, robotic killing machine from the future?????
Phil
www.nerdoh.co.uk
I forgot Renny Harlin. My God, his movies are sooooo awful!!!
Some guys referenced Eastwood and Murphy and I would like to express my disagreement in that.
The most talentless directors of all time are (by far):
JAMES GLICKENHAUS
UWE BOLL
Whoever said that Adam Sandler is a talentless hack obviously hasen't seen punch drunk love. He showed that he can actually act pretty well.
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Also Eddie Murphy, someone needs to shoot him.
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Pierce Brosnon is a terrible actor.
...JENNIFER ANNISTON ZERO TALENT....period
My dis-honorable mention to add to this list:
-Clint Eastwood
-Martin Lawrence
-Jason Statham
-Sylvester Stallone
I would put Ben Affeck and Keanu Reeves on this list instead of Steven Segal and Chris Tucker.
Nicholas Cage's Four Greatest Film List:
1. Lord of War
2. 8MM
3. Matchstick Men
4. Raising Arizona
Sure, he may be a piece of $h!+ sometimes (IRL) but tell me he does not completely rock in these roles. I don't care if it may be close minded to not accept your opinion, but you are all obviously wrong if you don't agree. Each role was different, none of them portrayed his true character and they all showed his versatility. If he cares about a role enough and is given even a mediocre script, he does well. He should not even be mentioned in this article. Other than Paris Hilton (how are you going to make fun of her for her acting capabilities, everyone knows she sucks, that's like making fun of a kid with Down's Syndrome for being bad at making friends) everyone else is well deserving of making this list.
Where the hell is Ernest Liu?!
I agree with most ppl in the list, i dont agree with Jon Heder being there though, hes a breath of fresh air, and no one could pull Napoleon like he did. And where is jessica alba and the corpse of scarlett johansson??
Hey - I got love for Nic Cage! "Ghostrider" was one awesomely campy trip! I knew it was going to be good when I heard Sam Elliott narrating....CHEESE FEST!! WOO HOO!
But yes: Diane Keaton is truly a one-note terror. She's shrill, she's odd, she's very obviously self-absorbed, and I'm not convinced she isn't just being herself on film. I'm going to throw a bomb here and say that her old companion Woody Allen sucks as an actor too.
let's see:
article about actors
article about actors
article about actors
article about actors
acticle about actors-out of the blue jab at Palin for no reason.
I mean if you had a good joke, I wouldn't mind, but that was just lame.
Paul Walker, Paul Walker, and Paul Walker. Oh yeah, and Paul Walker.
That guy couldn't act his way out of a fucking paper bag.
I'm going to have to agree with Heather Graham. The only movie she didn't ruin was the one she was blowing people in.
David Caruso also needs to find a way onto this list. Thinking about him act makes me so angry that I can't write anything here. He is truly terrible
Fuck you John! Orlando Bloom is awesome! (I'm not gay)
Paris Hilton should be #1, dammit!
why does everyone keep saying ashton kutcher is good? and you're using the butterfly effect as an example? seriously? that movie is an abortion. if anything its proof that hes a complete jackass.
and wheres keanu reeves in this? the only reason anyone likes him in the matrix is because he plays a completely stoic and emotionless character. turns out thats just his face.
How could you miss the worst bad actor of them all? Balack Hussein Osama. You may have seen him as an extra in REDS, also credited in START THE REVOLUTION WITHOUT ME, and soon to star in the multigazillion dollar remake of THE GREAT DICTATOR.
Hey William Shatner is classic on Star Trek!! The TV show. The movies were terrible.
1. Mark Wahlberg(Marky Mark). Terrible dumb expression actor. 2.Pauly Shore!! 3. Any rapper turned actor. 4. David Caruso. 5. Neil Patrick Harris(Doogie Howser!) He even got an Emmy Nod!! I don't get it. 6. Jackie Chan. Good fighter awful actor.
(Type your comment here. Make sure you've read the commenting rules before doing so) Mark Wahlberg(Marky Mark). Terrible dumb expression actor.
Oh yes! I forgot Christoph Lambert and Jean Claude Van Damme! I must rebuild my top 10...
Arnold is a good actor, I dont understand why his on that list. Please modify it.
Speaking of talent-less people, John...
Jessica Alba is terrible.
Heather Graham is terrible, except she was good in Boogie Nights.
Scarlett Johannsen is terrible. She's always biting her lip to make up for her lack of acting ability.
Edward Furlong is terrible.
Adam Sandler is terrible.
That's all I can think of.
what do people have against orlando bloom? he did an excellent job in kingdom of heaven the director's cut. his performance was outstanding in that movie. also he was also great in the pirates movies. he has done some great roles. even elizabethtown was great. he has talent so why is he on the list for being a bad actor. i can think of other actors that should be on it. hayden christenson, colin farrel, and more. orlando has talent. why are people saying he has got no talent. obviously direcor's and producers of movies see something about him which is why they approach him to do a movie. i think he will do well with each movie that he is doing.
Andy Dick should be on the top of the list.
It's baffling why hes even famous
Here is a true list:
1. Steven Segal.....Hands down the worst. WORST!!!!. Two words, Gino...Felino. Thats a name he uses in a movie. Want another name?
2. the only competitor with a real chance.......JVD-Jean Claude Van Damme. Hime and Segal are hand in hand for one-dimensional acting and the bottom line is neither can even act in their fighting movies or gunbattle or anything. GOD these guys suck.
3. Wesley Snipes
4.Martin Lawrence
5.Queen latifah
6. Paul Walker
7. Vin Diesal
8. Jessica Alba
9. Orlando Bloom
10. Elizibeth berkly
I would love to put stallone, but i love all his movies. He gots me addicted,.
i have lots of beef with this list
1) Arnie went from being horrible to not bad by the end of his career. He did, however need great directing to make him good. His best was, granted, when he played a robot in T2 but he was the sure choice and very believable in the role. He was also pretty funny in his comedies and the best ever at one liners. Even though the movie blew, i thought his acting in End of Days was actually not bad at all and his worst was never as bas as anyone elses worse on that list.
2) Dane Cook? Did you see Mr. Brooks... he was very good in that role and totally out of character for him.
3) Chris Tucker? Did you see Fifth Element... (see #2)
4) Orlando Bloom... ok not going to win a statue but comon quit being a hater. I stinking loved Kingdom of Heaven and the Pirate movies, not to mention the movies you've already stated he was good in LOTR!
5) Kutcher has only "acted" not like himself in one movie, The Guardian, and granted it wasn't the greatest movie but he was far from horrible.
6) Everyone else isn't and actor!
7) You can't judge and actor based on one role, a lot of the time it is the director's fault or the script or production or the whole crapfest. It is hard for me to come up with an actor who gets it wrong consistently so i say we should make the 10 worst acting performances of modern actors.
ill put my hat in for worst performance ever - Keanu Reeves in Pointe Break
1. PARIS HILTON
2. JIMMY KENNEDY
3. MAT LE BLANC
4. PAMELA ANDERSON (but wonderful, plump, slurpy breasts)
5. JENNY MC CARTHY (the same)
6. ROB SCHNEIDER
7. DOLPH LUNDGREN
8. MADONNA
9. BRITNEY SPEARS
10. LINDSAY LOHAN (ugh)
Rob Schneider and Jimmy Fallon. Between them they've thrown more dung at a cinema screen than Madonna and Guy Ritchie combined (but only just)
Oh my bad he was on the list. Once again, just like his films, I inevitably overlooked him...
I liked Rush Hour 3. Where the hell is Dane Cook?