Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Zapped!
THE GENERAL IDEA
Barney is a student/science lab nerd who obtains telekinetic powers after a lab accident. Along with his best friend Peyton Nichols (Willie Aames), a wealthy playboy with a dirty mind, Barney uses his new powers for no better reasons than beating up bullies, cheating at sports and stripping girls, particularly co-star Heather Thomas.
THE GOOD
This is 80s sexploitation at its most modest. For the most part we seen teens in lingerie (because all girls had fashionable matching undergarments in the 80s) and a few quick boob shots, but the whole movie is basically just a “what would you do” exploration and there really is no point to it. But its a fun ride, and you get to see the nerdy science geek get some revenge, and the inner teased school kid in you cheers (unless you were that bully – you jerks)
This film is also what started the relationship that got Baio and Willie Aames to work together again in TV’s Charles in Charge.
THE BAD
When Baio gets these superpowers the first thing he obviously thinks to do is strip women publicly. That’s pretty much the plot of the movie. Shirts popping open, dresses flying off in the air, skirts hiking up. Oh, he also uses his powers to freak out some priests and make the bully kick his own ass. So its basically just a free for all of “what would you do with telekenisis”
OVERALL
This is a brain off fun film that is more nostalgia than quality. I remember watching the crap out of this on VHS as a kid but then I was 11, so of course it was cinema gold for me. Boobies! It gets all its ratings for the cheap thrills it inspires, but worth the laugh to see just how pointless the story is.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Astro Boy review. If you’d like to see a video version of our Astro Boy review you can watch it at the bottom of the written review below.
Like “Speed Racer” before it, Astro Boy was destined to bomb at the box office. Like Speed Racer, a semi-recognizable name that is too far removed from its days of popularity to the point that it lacked enough of a built in audience. Still, that doesn’t mean that the movie itself can’t be good (Speed Racer wasn’t). So off I went to see Astro Boy and I was very surprised by how strongly it started… but not so surprised about how it all went downhill from there.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for Astro Boy reads something like this: “Set in futuristic Metro City, Astro Boy is about a young robot with incredible powers created by a brilliant scientist in the image of the son he has lost. Unable to fulfill the grieving man’s expectations, our hero embarks on a journey in search of acceptance, experiencing betrayal and a netherworld of robot gladiators, before he returns to save Metro City and reconcile with the father who had rejected him.”
THE GOOD
Without question the very best thing about Astro Boy was the hard hitting, and rather dark, first act that introduced us to the story. It was NOT what I was expecting. We are introduced to the brilliant scientist Dr. Tenma (voiced by Nic Cage) and his his bright excitable son. Being a kids film, I expected some sort of accident to happen where Dr. Tenma had to turn his son into a robot/cyborg in order to save his life and thus turn him INTO Astro Boy. What the film gave us was much darker. The son dies, and in his grief Dr. Tenma creates a Robot in his son’s image to replace him. He gives the robot all the weaponry and defenses science has conceived of to make sure nothing ever happend to this version of his son like it did to the last one. The emotional depth if this was surprisingly effective, and it got even better as the doctor realizes the robot does not replace his son, and only serves to remind him of what he lost… leading to him rejecting the robot (Astro Boy). This whole component, in my opinion, was handled brilliantly and gave the rest of the movie a solid base to launch from.
Some of the action in the film was quite visually appealing from both the perspectives of animation and cinematography. Those elements help the film become something quite pleasant to look at… if there was no sound… but unfortunately there was. Which leads us too…
THE BAD
After the effective first act, the film just spirals out of control to become the cheesy, cliche riddled, unfunny, uninteresting, ineffective piece of cinematic drivel we all feared it would be.
One of my pet peeves in movies are useless characters. Characters who serve no function other that to take up valuable screen time and whose presence would not be missed in the slightest if they were to suddenly disappear. There are a group of these characters called the Robot Revolutionary Front. A small group of three robots dedicated to freeing robots from human enslavement. They don’t… do… ANYTHING. Their actions and presence have absolutely no effect, positively or negatively on the story or the path of the film. The movie itself acknowleges this at the end when Astro looks to them and say “Thanks for everything” to which the robots respond “well… I guess we didn’t actually DO anything”. So true… so true. If you’re going to have useless characters taking up screen time… at least make them funny or entertaining is SOME way. These things weren’t.
I need to do an editorial post about this later… but WHY DO THESE ANIMATED MOVIES FEEL THE NEED TO USE ALL HIGH PROFILE ACTORS FOR THE VOICE ROLES?!?!?! It’s stupid. The only voice that remotely worked was that of Bill Nighy who voices Dr. Tenma’s best friend. All the other voices were flat, emotionless and usually distracting. What ever happened to using… you know… trained VOICE actors for these movies? But I’ll go into that in another post later.
OVERALL
Astro Boy stars off with a bang, but then echoes out into an android like whimper. Clearly little to no thought was put into this movie other than “Hey, let’s do an Astro Boy movie”. No good humor, no interesting characters, no story and a completely wasted fantastic introduction leaves this film wanting. Because of how effective I thought the first act was, I’ll go so far as to give Astro Boy a 4.5 out of 10.
Thanks for checking out our “The Vampire’s Assistant” review.
Continuing the trend of young adult books being turned into movies comes Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant. The trailers for the film seemed interesting enough, but right from the first time I saw one, the casting of John C. Reilly as the Vampire Crepsley seemed out of place. It’s almost as if I expected to see Will Ferrell in the next clip. Still, I’ve always enjoyed Reilly’s work in both drama and comedy, so why not as a Vampire? So off I went to see The Vampire’s Assistant. Was it worth it? Yes, but I can’t help but feel there was a lot of missed potential.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for The Vampire’s Assistant reads something like this: “A young boy named Darren Shan meets a mysterious man at a freak show who turns out to be a Vampire. After a series of events Darren must leave his normal life and go on the road with the Cirque Du Freak and become a Vampire.”
THE GOOD
The trailers for the movie made it out to be a very thin concept of some young boy bored with his life who decides to run off and become a Vampire for thrills. However, that’s quite misleading and the underlying mythology and background story to the film is MUCH deeper and actually quite rich. There are two fractions of Vampires (One called Vampires and one called Vampanese. The only difference between them is that one kills humans to drink their blood, and the other just knock out humans to drink SOME of their blood. So it’s just a philosophical difference, nothing else) that have lived under a peace truce for 100 years. However, there is an ancient prophecy of the two sides going to war, both lead by young leaders, which brings about the apocalypse. As the film progresses we learn of the role Darren has to play in this. The idea is rich and leaves me quite interested in seeing a sequel (if they ever get to make one).
Where the film tries to be funny… it modestly succeeds. Though I can’t remember any “laugh out loud” moments in the movie, there are a good number of giggles which kept the tone light.
Despite the fact that his role is a relatively small one, Ken Wantanabe always just blows me away and his performance as the head of Cirque du Freak, Mr. Tall, he gives an erie and dark feel of texture to the movie that is otherwise missing from the film. This guy is just amazing.
THE BAD
This film reminds me a lot of the first Underworld movie. A fantastic mythology and background story, that is ultimately wasted. Referenced in passing, but left on the shelf for a much inferior plot line. In the case of The Vampire’s Assistant, the movie abandons this terrific mythology it introduces us to about the Vampire war prophecy for 90% of the movie in favor of whimsical teenage jokes of a kid adjusting to being a Vampire. It was such a wasted opportunity.
I think John C. Reilly is beyond fantastic, but as I suspected from the trailers, this movie is a firm example of miscasting. I was never able to buy him as a fearsome warrior Vampire general, nor was I able to buy him in his softer moments. Essentially, Reilly was a bust in this movie, and without buying into the character of Crepsley, the rest of the film seems to buckle under its own weight.
An efficient movie introduces us to side characters who, without taking up too much valuable screen time, add more dimension and depth to a movie… but not in this movie. We get introduced to a series of freaks who add NOTHING to the movie and just eat up screen time. For example… the snake boy you see in the trailers… if you remove him from the film… NOTHING CHANGES. If you remove Orlando Jones, NOTHING CHANGES. I kept expecting some sort of relevance to be revealed about these characters in relation to the story… but it never comes.
OVERALL
The Vampire’s Assistant has a terrific foundation for a solid movie with an interesting mythology and background, but wastes all that potential as it uses its screen time for other, more useless stuff. John C. Reilly is completely miscast and never works as the key character in the film. I’d be willing to see a sequel because of the potential of the mythology, but I wouldn’t recommend this movie on its own merits to anyone. Over all I give The Vampire’s Assistant a 4 our of 10.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
And being October, I wanted to focus on scary films. This one comes straight from the comments section and while this feature is designed to remind you of older films you may have forgotten, this time commenter David Lopan reminded me of a Forgotten film.
Today’s review is House
THE GENERAL IDEA
Roger Cobb is a Vietnam vet. Whose career as a horror novelist has taken a turn for the worse when his son Jimmy mysteriously disappears while visiting his aunt’s house. Roger’s search for Jimmy destroys his marriage and his writing career. The sudden death of his aunt brings Roger back to the house where his nightmares began. The evil zombies in the house force Roger to endure a harrowing journey into his past.
THE GOOD
This is a comedy horor, but where its horror its really dark, and the comedy is great too. Its a tough blend. William Katt (The Greatest American Hero) plays Roger, who’s son goes missing and it messes him up pretty bad. Rewatching this now as a father I really connected with that. I would be a mess too. Katt plays a man who has hit the bottom and it really does hit hard. There is some deep serious themes in this movie. The house is more than haunted, and the embodiment of that House is a creepy bloated old lady clown looking ..thing. That creature gave me the creeps.
There is a lot of comedy in it too, and George Wendt (Norm from Cheers) plays the neighbour, and we even get Richard Moll (Night Court) as well. This cast of three different 80s comedy classics work well together to bring some laughs to a pretty dark story.
THE BAD
The film has a lot of heart and dark themes but when you mix in the comedy it gets a little hokey. If you think of it as a comedy first it might help you deal with some of the silliness, but it can be a tough swallow if you go into it thinking its a horror.
Other than that, I love this movie. Its a little 80s dated, but it adds to the charm so I hesitate to use that as a Bad thing.
OVERALL
Its a fun silly comedy featuring some 80s minor icon staples, and worth the watch. I suggest adding this into your Halloween Horror marathon to stave of the therapy inducing nightmares a run of truly scary films will provide.
And while you might fall in love with this movie, I am going to recommend NOT watching any of its sequels. They get worse and worse as time goes on. In fact the third one is often considered to not even be a part of the series as it just stole the name for marketing and has no connection to the first two. In the 4th Katt returns to reprise his role just to die in a car accident and his widow and daughter return to the house. Terrible stuff.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
And being October, I wanted to focus on scary films.
Today’s review is Friday the 13th
THE GENERAL IDEA
THE GOODThis was one of those movies that TRULY frightened me and gave me nightmares. I had a hard time with this one, granted I was like nine when I saw it (evil babysitters). This made me afraid of the dark and nervous at night when camping. This has the stereotypes that were not yet present in the world of Horror. When the power goes out and one person drifts off on their own into the dark to go find out why, you don’t roll your eyes. That just made sense.
And there was no Jason. Not yet. Just a masked killer. There was mystery and there was no supernatural. This was REAL and could happen. Some Kids are hired to re-open the camp and legends resurface as to why the campground was closed and someone starts killing them. Simple and terrifying.
It is also one of the very earliest appearances of Kevin Bacon.
THE BAD
The movie is a little dated, and while much horror that followed this film is attempting to emulate the terror presented here, its hard to forget the history. While you are screaming at the TV saying “Why would you do that?? He is behind that tree waiting for you with a machete!! Don’t you Watch Horror movies? ” Well in 1980 there wasn’t a lot of this going around in film.
OVERALL
This is a great film to watch with friends around Halloween. You can wonder at the very young Kevin Bacon, wash your brain of that weak unscary remake and see the origins of the Jason Voorhees we know from the sequels that dominated pop culture ever since. SPOILER Remember that Jason was the motivation of the killings, but it wasn’t until a stinger after the credits a morning after that this turned supernatural and Jason’s aged-to-adult form leaps out of the lake taking the film’s last victim.
This is worth a watch for those who have never seen it, or just want to actually
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Black Dynamite review. If you’d like to see a video version of the Black Dynamite review, you can watch it at the bottom of this post.
Since the trailer first emerged with the classic line – BLACK DYNAMITE: “I’m going to declare war on anyone who sells drugs in our community”. PIMP: “But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community”, my anticipation level for Black Dynamite was through the roof. However, my anticipation was tempered by the fact that the movie looked like it would be better served as a set of Saturday Night Live skits rather than a full length feature film and would ultimately not live up to the trailer. I was invited to the premiere of the film last night and off I went, excited but not holding my breath. Did Black Dynamite deliver? You bet your jive turkey ass it did!
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for Black Dynamite reads something like this: “This is the story of 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite. The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.”
THE GOOD
I always say the most important thing a comedy must accomplish is making the audience laugh. Almost everything else can be forgiven if you make the audience laugh. Well… Black Dynamite may not accomplish much else as a feature film, but dear heavens IT MAKES YOU LAUGH. This movie is flat out hilarious. I literally lost count how many time it made me burst out… and when I wasn’t laughing hysterically I was grinning from ear to ear most of the time.
This is the most quotable movie I’ve seen since “Army of Darkness”. Every single scene holds at least one immortal line. The only problem is that there are so many of these fantastic one liners, you forget most of them. As a matter of fact that’s essentially what this movie is… a big container for all these magnificent one liners. If you see this movie with a group of friends, I guarantee you you’ll be quoting lines from this movie to each other for a LONG time.
Michael Jai White was magnificent. No seriously, this guy throws the movie on his back (that he also co-wrote) and single handedly makes it work. Not only from the way he delivered the incredibly funny dialog, but also for his kung-fu (as it’s called in the movie). White is a legitimate pure action star in the making. I can easily see him transitioning out of this film into legit mainstream action films.
THE BAD
This is not a long film, but it really should have been about 10-12 minutes shorter. As I feared, the movie starts to feel played out by a certain point, and goes from hilarious parody, into just plain silliness that I think it honestly could have done without. By the time you get to the end and they reveal who the BIG bad guy is, it lost me. Oh there are still some solid one liners in the last 10 minutes, but even they lost a little of their effectiveness as the film started to feel a little more like “Disaster Movie” than anything else. But do keep in mind, that’s only once you get into the last 10-15 minutes.
OVERALL
Black Dynamite is a hilarious parody of the 70’s blacksploitation films filled with fantastic one liners and impressive martial arts that you and your friends will be quoting for a long time. It starts to lose a lot of its steam near the end of the film, but by then you’ve already had a great time. Michael Jai White will be a star, you can quote me on that. Overall I give Black Dynamite an 8.5 out of 10.
You can see the video version of our Black Dynamite review below:
Hey folks. Thanks for checking out our Paranormal Activity review.
You’ve gotta love stories like this one. A little, ultra low budget indie film that YEARS after it’s made gets some traction, gets picked up by a “name” studio, and then gets a theatrical release with some MAJOR positive reviews. Such is the story of Paranormal Activity.
The hype surrounding this film has ben of the scale. Many well respected horror sites going so far as to call it “the scariest movie of all time”. Those are some big claims.
So does Paranormal Activity live up to the enormous praise and hype? No, not at all. However, that’s not to say it isn’t still a solid little horror film that is quite enjoyable.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for Paranormal Activity reads something like this: “After a young, middle class couple moves into what seems like a typical suburban ’starter’ tract house, they become increasingly disturbed by a presence that may or may not be somehow demonic but is certainly most active in the middle of the night. Especially when they sleep. Or try to.”
THE GOOD
The very best thing about Paranormal Activity to me is the concept of escalation. I can honestly say I’ve never seen a horror film do a better job of slowly, gradually and effectively “taking it up to the next level” throughout the run time. As the film progresses it gets a little more creepy, then a little more… then a little more… then holy crap… then HOLY CRAP… then CRAP I JUST CRAPPED MYSELF! It never moves backwards and it does a fantastic job of not “blowing its load” too early. The result is that it you’re never given a chance to really catch your breath. With the fear level ALWAYS going up, it creates a pace to the film that leaves your fingers digging deeper and deeper into the theater chair arm rest. This is where the real strength of film resides.
The use of the handycam may be a little “blair witchish”, but in my opinion it’s the reason the film works at all. The FEEL of it being real is what gives the movie its underlying sense of eerieness that quite frankly I don’t thing would have been there if this would have been a multi-million dollar production. You could have done this exact same movie, same dialog, same action, same location, same everything… but if you did it on a huge budget with multi high quality film cameras and lighting crews and editing, it would have completely lost the effect of the film.
The performances by the 2 actors in the film is what sells it. They were both so natural that you sometimes forget you are watching a movie and not a real home video.
The movie is scary, and that’s the #1 most important thing about any horror film. No, it’s not the scariest film I’ve seen, no it’s not as scary as some of the hype suggests… but it IS scary and has the theater jumping out of its seats on more than a couple of occasions.
There are obviously not a lot of visual effects in Paranormal Activity, but when they are used, they are PERFECT.
THE BAD
Remember that old comedy bit by Eddie Murphy where he talks about how black people would never make good horror movies… because the moment they heard the house say “get out”, they would actually GET OUT. The problem is, if the family or couple actually “gets out”, then the movie is over. That’s the dilemma for the filmmakers in Paranormal Activity. Because listen folks… if ANY of the stuff that was happening to these people in this house were happening to ANYBODY, they would get the hell out of the house and run. EVERYONE… except these two people. That’s the only time the movie didn’t feel real to me. All this crazy stuff starts happening, and they just stay in the house… which is stupid and would never happen. They needed to come up with a better device to explain why they would stay there.
There is a friend character who shows up a couple of times in the film that I thought was just a complete waste and didn’t need to be there at all. Whenever the character showed up, the story seemed to stall. That’s not a criticisms on the ACTOR playing the character, but rather the character itself.
Dead empty time in a horror movie can be very effective to built tension, and for the most part Paranormal Activity uses it quite well… however, it also uses it too much in spots. It also repeats the same conversation between the couples too many times that makes some of the scenes just feel like time filler.
OVERALL
While Paranormal Activity may not be the “scariest movie of all time” or live us to the insane hype its been getting, it is nonetheless a VERY GOOD movie executed very well that will leave you both entertained and pretty creeped out. What more can you ask from a horror movie? Overall I give Paranormal Activity an 8 out of 10.
Thanks for checking out our Couples Retreat review.
On the surface, Couples Retreat looks like just another cheap, throw away, romantic comedy that at best could be mildly entertaining, and at worst a complete waste of time. However, the film sports a fantastic cast (with the likes of Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell and a few others) and was written by Favreau and Vaughn, who have a pretty decent track record together. Add on top of that the fact that the trailers have looked pretty solid, and I found myself really looking forward to it.
Did it live up to my mildly heightened expectations? No, it didn’t, but at the same time it wasn’t a complete waste either.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The basic synopsis for Couples Retreat reads something like this: A comedy centered around four couples who settle into a tropical-island resort for a vacation. While one of the couples is there to work on the marriage, the others fail to realize that participation in the resort’s therapy sessions is not optional.
THE GOOD
Vince Vaughn is pretty much a one character actor these days. Oh he may have started out dramatic, but he’s made a fortune in comedy, and made it with the exact same character over and over and over again. However, unlike Michael Cera, this character doesn’t seem to get old (at least it hasn’t really yet). It’s a more charismatic character with more personality and is, well… funny. When Vince Vaughn is “on”, he has some of the best comedic timing in the business which means whenever his character opens his mouth, you’ve got to be prepared to laugh, and in Couples Retreat, Vaughn is on.
This is a dialog driven movie and for the most part the dialog works really well (for a comedy at any rate). Many comedies rely on shtick, gags and physical comedy to get their laughs (and there is nothing at all wrong with that when it works), but I found that the best moments of this movie were with the straight forward dialog between the characters.
This part may sound redundant since the movie takes place in the tropical paradise… but the movie really was very pretty to look at. The cinematography in the film took full advantage of the surroundings and really helped us “fell” the place the way the characters did.
It’s just a funny film most of the time.
Carlos Ponce, who plays Salvadore the Yoga instructor is brilliant. I loved this character. He was this movie’s McLovin (a side character who ends up stealing the show every time he’s on the screen). I can honestly say I would go see a “Salvatore” movie.
THE BAD
I find these sorts of movies are best when they know exactly what they are, and stay within those limits. For example, when you look at Wedding Crashers, the film quickly identifies itself as a mid-shallow comedy with minor life lessons encompassing a comedy based on a pretty unrealistic set of circumstances. The movie knows that’s what it is, and never moves outside of that and firmly establishes its identity. When I comedy establishes it’s identity and operates within it, it has a greater chance of success. However, Couples Retreat never establishes and identity, because you quickly get the feeling that the movie THINKS it’s smarter and deeper than it really is. This creates several moments in the film when it wants to be taken seriously, but you as an audience member just can’t. At times the movie tries to make deeper and more insightfully observations about real marriage and relationship problems, but they just come off as silly, especially when they’ve already used blatant slapstick comedy tools.
The movie veers way too much into the pure “silly” at times. Once again, if it had established its identity as that right off the bat, then it could have worked, but it doesn’t. For example, there is a completely ludicrous “Guitar Hero” battle scene about 2/3 of the way through that felt so out of place it just made me feel embarrassed for everyone involved in it.
Like many comedies, Couples Retreat all too quickly and all too conveniently wraps up everyone’s problems into a big happy ending. Some deep and potentially complex life issues suddenly rectified by a 45 second epiphany conversation 5 minutes before the end of the movie. It felt cheap. It felt forced, and it felt like the filmmakers just had no idea what else to do with it.
Whereas the first 2/3’s of the film moved along pretty well and was quite funny (if not all that smart), the last act grinds to a complete and painful stall.
OVERALL
Couples Retreat, at its heart, is a funny movie with a pretty solid premies that shoots itself in the foot repeatedly by not developing an identity for itself, acting like it’s smarter than it is one minute, and the nose diving into unfunny nonsense slapstick comedy the next minute. A movie that starts pretty strong but leaves you feeling like the filmmakers didn’t have a clear vision for where they wanted the film to go, and thus the movie stalls in the third act. Still, there were enough laughs and smiles in the film that I don’t regret taking the time out to see it, and so overall I give Couples Retreat a 5 out of 10.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
This month I am going to focus on scary movies in favour of Halloween.
Today’s review is Pet Semetary
THE GENERAL IDEA
The Creeds have just moved to a new house in the countryside. Their house is perfect, except for two things: the semi-trailers that roar past on the narrow road, and the mysterious cemetary in the woods behind the house. When the family cat dies they bury it in the Pet Semetary and discover its magical properties to bring the animal back to life. But when their young son falls victim to the dangerous highway, in a fit of grief they opt to bury him in the Pet Semetary hoping to return their son to them. It works, but is it their sweet child or a demon from hell?
THE GOOD
The premise is simple, as most Stephen King stories are. But it is the execution of the roles by each of the actors that makes the story so frieghtening. The child actor who played Gage was absolutely brilliant. He was just as sweet as a button and the type of perfect child every family hopes for. But when he returns from the dead he is an evil possessed boy who cusses and murders. Seriously terrifying to see this child act out those parts.
But its more than just a demon child on the rampage. There is an emotional struggle of the parents, how it strains their relationship, how they deal with their murderous child on the rampage. All played out brilliantly
THE BAD
I am certain that boy who played Gage needed therapy after this. Seriously. The stuff they made him do shouldn’t be shown to children, let alone making an actor play out those parts. That he didn’t end up in a mental ward is beyond me. But the part that disturbs me most is how deeply this movie impacted me. This was one that gave me nightmares, even as an adult. If you are sensitive to this sort of thing, you might want to give it a pass.
OVERALL
So while you inevitably plan a movie night with scary movies closer to Halloween, you might want to grab this one!
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Surrogates review. It sort of snuck up on the general public a few weeks ago like a Hollywood secret. As films started their marketing pushes for movies earlier and earlier, one just expects that a Sci-Fi Bruce Willis film would have a massive ad campaign well in advance of its release. But that’s not how the studio decided to handle Surrogates, and as a result, most people only first heard about Surrogates a few short weeks ago. Personally, I like that it did that… it made sure I wasn’t sick of the movie before even seeing it.
So off I went to see it. Was it good? Was it bad? Does Bruce still kick ass?
Yes actually
No
He sure does.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for Surrogates reads something like this: “People are living their lives remotely from the safety of their own homes via robotic surrogates — sexy, physically perfect mechanical representations of themselves. It’s an ideal world where crime, pain, fear and consequences don’t exist. When the first murder in years jolts this utopia, FBI agent Greer (Willis) discovers a vast conspiracy behind the surrogate phenomenon and must abandon his own surrogate, risking his life to unravel the mystery.”
THE GOOD
As a Bruce Willis movie, the first thing an audience member will probably expect (rightly or wrongly) is some good action, and Surrogates delivers on that. No, this movie isn’t a wall to wall action film, nor does it want to be… nor SHOULD it be, but the action sequences that are in there are pulled off beautifully. Not only is it exciting stuff, but it all feels “real” and fits in with the context in which the film takes place… both in Bruce’s robotic form and in his human form.
The thing that surprised me the most about the movie was that it’s a good mystery. If you’ve seen the trailers, you know someone has figured out how to actually kill real people through their Surrogates (which was thought to be totally impossible). The story behind who is doing it all and why turns out to be quite compelling and has a terrific “reveal” moment in the film that I honestly never saw coming, yet made total and perfect sense within the context of the movie.
Although the film isn’t as cerebral as it could has tried to be, it ends up making some interesting observations about how things would be in an entirely artificial world. The disconnect we experience with the “real” world when we get too plugged in. There’s a scene where a woman stumbles onto the streets for the first time in a while and squints when she sees the sun… it reminded me of someone I know who spends too much time on World of Warcraft and Facebook (you know who you are).
The pace of the movie is wonderful. Always moving forward, moving from point A to point B and then on to point C once point B has ben adequately established. It never feels rushed, and never feels like it stalls or lingers on a point that’s already been made.
THE BAD
Although you know that the movie doesn’t aspire to be a 2001 or any deeper than it ends up being, one can’t help but get a sense that perhaps they should have delved a little bit deeper into the socio-consioucness of a society that becomes completely reliant on technology (which some could argue we already are). What questions does that raise? How does it effect our identity and how we interact and fit in with the world around us? Oh sure, a few passing comments are made here and there, but they only serve to make us wonder if they should have gone just a bit deeper.
Some of the visual effects were just dreadful. Granted, the budget for the movie was only about $80 million and thus one can only expect the effects to be so good… but if you can’t do the effect well, then work around it and don’t put something bad, or cheesy looking on the screen that pulls us out of the movie.
There is a side story to the film about Bruce Willis and his wife. I completely understand this side story was meant to serve as Bruce’s anchor to reality and real human contact… but it didn’t quite click for me and ultimately felt more like dead weight in the film. They either needed to better develop the side story, or let it go. They did neither and it hurt the film overall.
OVERALL
Overall, Surrogates ends up being a lighter sci-fi look into our future and our dependance on humanity that keeps its main identity as an 80’s style action film with more depth than you’d expect, but not quite as much as you’d hope for. No masterpiece, but by the time the end credits roll a movie that entertained. The biggest complaints ends up being that you know if could have been even better, but we’ll take what we can get. Overall I give Surrogates a 7 out of 10.
Thanks for checking out our Pandorum review. I’m a sucker for just about anything with Dennis Quaid in it (he’s one of the only reasons I had any hope at all for G.I. Joe), and Ben Foster is evolving into one of the best actors working in Hollywood today (his performances in “30 Days of Night” and “3:10 To Yuma” were just absolutely mind blowing). Combine that with the fact that I get excited about almost any Sci-Fi movie and you end up with Pandorum being very high on my list of films I’ve wanted to see this year. It struck me as a sort of “Alien” type of movie (sci-fi/horror). So off I went to check it out this weekend. Did it disappoint? Yup… sure did.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for Pandorum reads something like this: “Two crew members are stranded on a spacecraft and quickly – and horrifically – realize they are not alone. Two astronauts awaken in a hyper-sleep chamber aboard a seemingly abandoned spacecraft. It’s pitch black, they are disoriented, and the only sound is a low rumble and creak from the belly of the ship. They can’t remember anything: Who are they? What is their mission? With Lt. Payton staying behind to guide him via radio transmitter, Cpl. Bower ventures deep into the ship and begins to uncover a terrifying reality. Slowly the spacecraft’s shocking, deadly secrets are revealed…and the astronauts find their own survival is more important than they could ever have imagined.”
THE GOOD
As expected, the performance of Ben Foster as Bower was impeccable. The role was a challenging one. A role that called on the performer to convince an audience of complete bewilderment, confusion, fear, intensity, bravery, terror and excitement all at the same time without going overboard on any of them. When Foster’s character wakes up completely unaware of who he is or where he is, he conveys it perfectly, and continues to do so throughout the movie. I’ve got to confess that despite the fact that I still believe Dennis Quaid is a better actor than Foster, he stumbles a bit through the movie and doesn’t come across nearly as convincing as Foster does. Foster almost saves this movie… but doesn’t. Which leads us into….
THE BAD
First of all, the “mystery” of the monsters we see in the trailers was about as un-mysterious as you can get. “Oh no… what are these monsters… where did they come from… and what happened to all the passengers”? I bet if you didn’t even see the trailer and JUST read that line, you’d already guess what the monsters are, where they came from, and what happened to the passengers of the giant ship. Yes… the monsters are former passengers. There… I spoiled it for you. If you didn’t figure it out for yourself already, then you probably can’t read either, and thus I didn’t spoil anything for you at all.
Within the exposition of the story, you can clearly tell the director Christian Alvart was attempting to make observations on commentary on the condition of humanity and our base nature. These are great things to utilize when tapping into a story like this one… however you have to tap into them, or observe them, or comment on them WELL. To me they just came off as trite afterthoughts instead of existential dilemmas on the condition of man. What that leaves you with is nothing more than a monster horror movie in space, which feels quite hollow considering you KNOW they were going for much much much more.
But even then, “monster horror movies in space” CAN be a lot of fun. But even on that level Pandorum fails. The “monsters” have nothing interesting about them, nor do they really scare you at all (if they could have JUST pulled that off, it could have gone a long way to redeeming the film). Also… for those of you who have seen the movie… please tell me how on earth one of these borderline mindless monsters learned kung-fu?
The ultimate mystery of the film is essentially irrelevant. Where is the ship now and how did they get there SHOULD have been the ultimate questions throughout the film, but never does the audience care or are made to feel the need to care. By the time the “mystery” is revealed at the end it feels pointless. A big “reveal” in a movie should do something to alter how an audience perceived or increase their understanding of all that came before it (think of how the reveal in “The Sixth Sense” does that), but in Pandorum, it’s just another fact to end the movie that on a practical level changes or would have changed anything else in the movie up to that point, and thus felt like useless noise by the time they finally got to it.
OVERALL
Overall, Pandorum is an intelligent idea for a movie that isn’t executed intelligently. A mystery film with no mystery. A horror film with no horror. A monster movie with lame monsters… and although it clearly tries to be much more and much deeper than any of that, it falls well short and ultimately comes off as a movie that thinks it’s smarter than it is. A terrific performance by Ben Foster almost makes it watchable, but doesn’t get you there. Overall I give Pandorum a 2.5 out of 10.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Johnny Dangerously
THE GENERAL IDEA
Set in the 1930’s, an honest, goodhearted man is forced to turn to a life of crime to finance his neurotic mother’s skyrocketing medical bills. Johnny Kelly is a family man, proud of his brother (the District Attourney) and takes on the street name Johnny Dangerously. He runs the show differently trying to make his life of crime as clean as it can be while hiding his double life from his Mother and Brother.
THE GOOD
The charm of Michael Keaton shines brightest in this lesser known film in his catalogue, which is saying a lot with the personality this guy hefts around. But that isn’t all. The film just oozes with some great depression era gangster campiness that refuses to let you take it seriously which keeps you rolling in the fun.
Johnny Dangerously breaks the fourth wall in a public service message condemning smoking and pulling a stick of bubblegum out of his silver cigarette case. He also forbids his gang members from using foul language immortalizing “Fragging Bastidges” among film geeks.
The supporting cast is inspired as well grabbing iconic ganster types like Danny Devito, Joe Piscopo and Dom Delouise. While Piscopop plays the rival badass who wants the gang for his own truely criminal ways, Delouise gets to play the Pope. Both comicly fitting in their roles. Marilu Henner seems to have been born for that era as the character she plays is perfect for her look and demeanor.
And its all suitably kicked off by Weird Al’s “This is the Life” for an opening credits theme song. Awesomeness.
THE BAD
The humour is a bit dated. If you watch old 80s sitcoms and wonder why anyone thought this was ever funny, then this might not appeal to you. There is a certain frame of mind when approaching this. Its an acquired taste but one easily swallowed.
OVERALL
The film isn’t brilliant, and its not perfect. But what it is, it does really well. Its a hell of a lot of fun, charming as all get out and a perfectly enjoyable comedy. I always enjoy Michael Keaton most in his comedies and I think in part it has much to do with his appearance in this film. This was one of his earlier films right off the set of Mr.Mom and after this came Gung Ho, Beetlejuice and Batman. But no one seems to remember this one.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Adventures in Babysitting
THE GENERAL IDEA
Chris has a big night out planned when her boyfriend cancels on her. She agrees to babysit for a pre-teen girl who is obsessed with Thor and a teenage boy who is obsessed with the babysitter. She’s settled in for a dull night when a girlfriend calls her to say she’s marooned at a downtown bus station with very seedy characters around. The three plus one of the boy’s friends get into the parents station wagon for a trip to the inner city. All is well till the flat tire and it doesn’t get better after that.
THE GOOD
The characters are only a little stereotyped in this, which I really like. Chris (Elizabeth Shue) is super pretty and popular and is dating the jackass who thinks he is too cool (says so on his Camero’s license plate) But the boy who is crushing on the girl doesn’t get so creepy about it all, and his obnoxious friend still knows there are lines and never goes quite over the top.
The movie runs at a good pace as one disaster resolves, another begins only to find the first disaster catching up with them. The characters are fun, the lessons learned are light and the unbelievable mess they get in are still believable.. well mostly.
THE BAD
The movie doesn’t take itself too seriously so when things happen that don’t “make sense” or those “that wouldn’t happen” moments require a little glossing over. The soundtrack is forgettable, but not terrible.
OVERALL
The movie is a nice slice of the 80s without too much over the top pop culture being forced down your throat. Its a fun family friendly thrill ride that gives you some laughs and light moments. Great for kids, fun enough for adults.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Girls Just Want to Have Fun
THE GENERAL IDEA
Janey is new in town, and soon meets Lynne, who shares her passion for dancing in general, and “Dance TV” in particular. When a competition is announced to find a new Dance TV regular couple, Janey and Lynne are determined to audition. The only problem is that Janey’s father doesn’t approve of that kind of thing. After Janey makes it to the finals she is paired up with a rebelious boy and finds a romance and a chance to be a TV Star.
THE GOOD
This movie captured the excitement and “dream come true” buzz that goes with all those Dance and Singing reality shows and predates that whole era. But of course this predates this more recent phenomenon.
How can you not like a film that has dialog like “Velcro! Next to the Walkman and Tab, its the coolest invention of the 20th century!” and they brag about things like a 25 inch TV!! The film is just littered with pop culture references of the 80s IN the 80s with all the REALLY bad acting to boot.
The movie gives us an early peek at a teenaged Helen Hunt and Sarah Jessica Parker (A short year after dancing on Footloose). It even has a 14 year old Shannen Doherty.
And I am almost certain that Mr Sands was the Glad Garbage Bag man from commercials of the same era. And this film introduced us to “Tune in Tokyo” – a guaranteed party trick that never wins.
THE BAD
You have to have an appreciation for cheese. This movie is a stinking pile of it, but its fun and filled with some eyecandy, but if you over analyze films, you are just going to cringe all the way through this. But its crammed with nostalgia for me, so I am offering it up.
OVERALL
Sometimes you just need a “brain off” film with a little flash and fun of the 80s. Not everything needs to be over analyzed to death. This film has all the steyrotypes and really bad acting. Did I mention the bad acting?
So while I know you won’t “like” the film for its technical merits, I am hoping you can appreciate a fine aged cheese.
Most of you are going to unanimously dislike this but that’s half the fun of the subjectivity of film.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our 9 review. If you’d like to see the video version of our 9 review you can catch it at the bottom of this post.
Shane Acker had his stint as a visual effects animator on “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” as the most prominent career moment, until now. Now his story of 9 is in theaters under his direction and produced by none other than Tim Burton. Was it a successful venture for him? Well… yes and no.
THE GENERAL IDEA
The synopsis for 9 reads something like this: “When 9 first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world where all humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good. They must take the offensive if they are to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. As they’ll soon come to learn, the very future of civilization may depend on them.”
THE GOOD
As one could tell from the trailers (and thankfully didn’t disappoint in the least) 9 is simply visually stunning. The environments, characters and animation are all breathtaking to look at. The harsh post-apocalyptic word that Acker creates is tangible to the audience. Bleak and fearsome, cold and despair inducing. But more than a sense of horror, the world 9 shows us brings out a bigger sense of sorrow. Sorrow over a world wasted. This is exactly what he was going for, and it is exactly what it gave us.
The direction of this film is beautiful. The pacing and “cinematography” (I know some people don’t like using that phrase when it comes to animated films, but that’s exactly what it is), the beats and shot selection all come together in beautiful harmony. The job of the director is not to create a story… but rather to tell it in the best possible way it can, and Acker did that. I very much look forward to his next effort.
THE BAD
Unfortunately, as visually beautiful and well directed the film is, the story is by far its biggest weakness. It’s difficult to go into any detail because it would give key plot points of the film away, but there are some huge logic gaps and plot holes in this film that frankly make no sense whatsoever. The ending of the film, instead of answering major questions brought up by the film, only serves to confuse the issues more and at moments directly contradicts itself.
One of the major inconsistencies in the film seems to be its message. One the one hand it seems to be yet another movie in the long line of “be careful of how reliant we become on technology or it could turn on us” films… but then at the same time the story revolves around a magical talisman that takes souls. It was frustrating to wait until the end of the film to see how they would remedy this contradiction, only to find they take the error to the next level. That statement may not make much sense to you right now, but you’ll see what I mean if you watch the film.
In the words of a fellow film pundint: “You can tell this was a short film that was just not ready to be stretched into a feature”. How true that statement is.
OVERALL
9 is a magnificent film visually in terms of effects, animation and the direction of the on screen action. However, even though the story is TOLD well, the story itself was weak and filled with holes that left me and some others frustrated. Still, overall a generally enjoyable experience but one you may do well to just wait for on DVD sometime. I give 9 a 6 out of 10.
You can see the video version of our 9 review here:
Thanks for checking out our Gamer review. To see the video version of the Gamer review you can watch it at the bottom of this post.
Up to this point I have been a major fan of Neveldine and Taylor, the writers and directors of both “Crank” movies and producers on last years “Pathology”, so obviously I’ve been looking forward to seeing “Gamer” even though on the outside it’s looked like the weakest of their offerings to date. I mean come on… a death row inmate who is offered a chance at life if he wins a life and death publicly broadcast event. I’ve seen 3 of those movies in the last 4 years already.
But could Gamer rise above that? Thankfully yes… but just barely.
THE BASIC IDEA
The synopsis for Gamer reads something like this: “Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player (Butler) from a game called “Slayers” looks to regain his independence while taking down the game’s mastermind (Hall).”
THE BAD
I know I generally do “The Good” first, but I feel like it’s appropriate to do the bad first here and I think you’ll see why.
I HATED the first 15 minutes of this movie for several reasons. It felt more cartoon than intense. More ridiculous than imagination and more desperation than vision. The way we are introduced to the story was told in a really contrived and boring manner. It basically treats the audience like we’re all 6 years old and couldn’t possibly understand anything beyond the simplest concepts. It holds our hands and explains what’s going on like we walk to the store with bike helmets on. It wasn’t just irritating, it made me lose interest in the film almost immediately.
I have to mention this. Neveldine and Taylor are amazing at coming up with innovative ways of pulling together terrific shots and ways to get those shots. However, I’ve found with Crank 2, and now with Gamer they’ve fallen more and more into the horrible trap of THINKING that shaking the camera like it’s being operated by monkey suffering seizures makes the film “intense”. Somewhere along the line someone lied to them and told them that doing 5 cuts per second and shaking the camera like it’s being dangled from a Mr. Slinky makes movies intense. IT… DOES… NOT. What it does is ruins great shots and great action scenes because not only can I not really appreciate and tell what’s going on up on the screen… IT MAKES ME NOT CARE. They come up with AMAZING scenes and sequences… only to ruin them by not letting us (the audience) really watch them. it’s frustrating as hell.
WHY THE FUCK IS LUDACRIS IN THIS MOVIE?!?! Damn, I wanted to gouge my ears every single time he spoke on screen. I can’t decide if the character was just bad, or (as I suspect) if the acting was really just that bad.
I know it’s not the movie, but I really do have to take a moment to talk about the trailer. It’s the worst, and it turns out completely deceiving (I’ll get to that in a moment). I can honestly say I never ONCE heard anyone say they liked the Gamer trailers. Of the roughly 20 times I saw it play in theaters, not once did I hear any buzz in the crowd after it played… quite the opposite. Such a shame, because the movie is actually much better than the trailers let on.
THE GOOD
After we get through the painful opening 15 minutes (which caused me to lose all hope in the rest of the movie), the film changes gears and… well… becomes very watchable.
The story of the film is much better than one might think. Now here’s the thing… the ass awful trailers made you think that the STORY of the movie was about “a death row inmate who is offered a chance at life if he wins a life and death publicly broadcast event” much like Death Race of The Condemned. But unlike those movies, this is just a device in the story… not the story itself. As a matter of fact, (and this is a little bit of a spoiler) the movie doesn’t stay in prison very long and once Butler gets out, the real story of the movie unfolds. And guess what, that story is pretty good. Which all leads me once again to ask why the trailers thought it necessary to make us think the movie was about something else in the first place?
I’m enjoying Gerard Bulter more and more. You can laugh at me all you want, but I actually thought he was damn funny in “The Ugly Truth” too. But Gamer reminds us that his true place is as an action star. Flat out, I thought Bulter was great in this film.
There are honestly some very good laughs in the movie (once again, once you get past the first 15 minutes). For example, Heroes star Milo Ventimiglia has a small role in the film that just had me howling every minute he was on the screen. In typical Neveldine/Taylor fashion, the film weaves humor into their intensity like a wink to the audience acknowledging just how unreal everything in the movie is… and it works.
Michael C. Hall is dynamite in the film… and I’m shocked to say that because I thought he looked lame in the trailers, and thought even worse things for the first part of the movie. But he really makes this character like a good graphic novel antagonist. Subtle, and some not so subtle quirks and manerisms he uses got me to actually LIKE his character.
Have to mention the Michael C. Hall dance number. It’s awesome. I knew the scene was in the movie, and I was dreading it like crazy, but once it started, I ate it up… it was great.
Is it possible for Terry Crews to NOT be entertaining? I mean, even if he tried? I don’t think it’s possible.
OVERALL
If you can manage to not get up and walk out during the first 15 or so minutes of Gamer, I think you’ll end up enjoying yourself… I did. The film could have been about 3x better had they knocked off the terrible shaky camera and hyper aggressive quick cut editing, but in the end Gamer ends up being a fun, exciting, at times funny and surprisingly well told story. In the words of our friends over at JoBlo.Com:
The best thing about GAMER is that Neveldine/ Taylor definitely had the pacing down pat as it runs a lean ninety minutes, and doesn’t wear out it’s welcome. I have to say, I kind of dig their whole trash/ excess aesthetic, and I image if you watch this between CRANK & CRANK 2, you could see their evolution (or de-evolution) to the trashterpiece insanity of CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE (this was shot BEFORE, and sat on the shelf for awhile). If you like this type of thing (and obviously, there are people that do, as the film went over really well as the screening I attended- although it had a few walkouts) you’ll probably get a kick out of it, although you’ll be disappointed if you walk in expecting a straight-forward action flick. Still, I dug it and would recommend it to anyone looking for a trashy adrenaline rush.
I concur. When all is said and done, this is fun movie that manages to shine despite its weaknesses. Overall I give Gamer a 6.5 out of 10.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature.
This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Cool as Ice
THE GENERAL IDEA
The old teen rebel saga is updated for the late 80s/early 90s rap crowd with a loose remake of Rebel Without a Cause. Cool as Ice focuses on the character of Johnny, a freewheeling, motorcycle-riding rapper who arrives in a small town and meets Kathy, an honor student who catches his eye. Meanwhile, Kathy’s father, who is in witness protection, is found by the corrupt police officers he escaped from years ago.
THE GOOD
The tagline for the film just sets the pace for what you can expect: “When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add Ice.” Because that makes as much sense as the rest of the film. Ice “melts” stone. Of course it does.
This film is genius but mostly because its not trying to be. The film seems to be passing itself off as a semi-serious teen romance flick. And therein lies the enjoyment. Watching this with the mentality that its a comedy parodying the popculture of the time makes the film far more effective.
Taking dialogue like “Drop that Zero and get with the Hero” might fly in the catchy discography of Robert Van Winkle, but in this film his uber hip rapper rebel tosses them out like commonplace verbage. Everytime one of these poetic gems hops delightfully from his lips your head will reel with the wonderment that this was every considered “Cool”.
Trust me. I was still a teenager when this film happened, and I remember all the wannabes with their 8ball leather jackets eager to be as cool as Vanilla Ice (mine had a stop sign on the back…not kidding) Often when a film suffers from being dated I put that as a consideration in the Bad Section, but in this case the “dated” stuff just make it better and better as time goes on.
Everyone else but Vanilla Ice is just filler. Its all about him. But we get to see his yuppie rival John Newton (who had previously played Superboy in the 80s version of Smallville) and Kristin Minter (ER’s Randi Fronczak) not to mention Michael Gross (Dad from Family Ties) but that doesn’t matter. Vanilla Ice is about to talk again… shhh!
Oh, and in case you didn’t recognize the director David Kellogg then clearly you don’t own very many Playboy videos (he’s done 12 of em)… or Inspector Gadget. Yeah, this just gets better.
THE BAD
The only thing bad with this film is that the original actors thought they were being mostly serious. If they did this film and the actual appeal was to parody, they would have been praised for it.
The plot is terribly weak. But its filled with such wildfire jawdropping fun that you don’t really need to care about that. For your viewing pleasure everything else I could say is bad about this movie is just what makes it comedy gold. This may be one of the earliest examples of why a musical star shoudln’t be given the starring role to carry a film, but the end result was so bad that it was good, so I don’t have much else to offer.
OVERALL
Sadly the film was financially and critically a failure in its day. This truly is a hidden gem of a film just for the greater appeal for its previously bad qualities. Like a good wine, it gets better with time. Kind of like giggling at someone in a wide tie and bell bottoms.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Against my better judgement I went out to see the new “Halloween 2″. Granted, I didn’t think the first one was any good, and no I haven’t enjoyed any film by Rob Zombie at this point (even though my iPod is filled with his music)… but I thought “just maybe”. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as I feared it would be. After all… G.I. Joe didn’t end up being half as bad as I thought it would be… maybe there would be something redeemable about Halloween 2. It’s possible right?
Let me make this perfectly clear and put it in the most direct way I can. To call “Halloween 2″ I giant shitfest would be far too kind. I’ve never seen a “horror” movie so bland, so predictable, so boring and so ridiculous in my life. This is the worst film I’ve seen since “Catwoman” and now ranks as the 4th worst film I’ve ever had to sit through in my life (Just behind Battlefield Earth, Catwoman and The Highlander II).
THE GENERAL IDEA
It sucks so bad I don’t want to bother.
THE GOOD
You’re kidding right? Good?!?! There was absolutely nothing redeemable about this nuclear cluster fuck of a movie.
THE BAD
I honestly don’t know where to start. The fact of the matter is everything about this movie sucks on an epic scale and to point out any individual “bad” aspects seems redundant. I’m not a film critic, so I’m not sure I’m obligated to be forced to think about this movie any more than I already have.
I love Weird Al passionately… but dude… when his 2 minute cameo is the best thing about you’re movie, you’re in trouble.
Worst…. acting… ever.
I’m sorry… was I, at any point, supposed to be scared?
Did they write this movie on a napkin the morning production started?
I mean… if Zombie was going for: “Let’s make a movie that is totally predictable… lacks any scares or suspense… sacrifices all thoughts of common sense… have the lead girl squeal and scream all her dialog and put in the most ass raping nonsensical ending”… then yeah, mission accomplished.
I don’t want to talk about this movie anymore. I don’t want to think about this movie any more. I will never mention this movie again. I could have spent my Saturday afternoon napping… it would have been far more productive. I don’t know you Rob Zombie. We’ve only met briefly and you seem like nice enough of a guy and you make some kick ass music… but right now I hate you a little bit.
OVERALL
As far as a “score” goes… well… I’ve never done this before, but it must be done. Overall I give “Halloween 2″ a -2 out of 10. Yes… a -2. Damn I’m SOOO mad right now that my Saturday afternoon was so utterly wasted. Fuck this movie.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Oscar
THE GENERAL IDEA
Angelo “Snaps” Provolone made his dying father a promise on his deathbed: he would leave the world of crime and become an honest businessman. Despite having no experience in making money in a legal fashion, Snaps sets about to keep his promise. He is faced with numerous problems: henchmen who know nothing but crime, the police who are convinced he is hatching a master plan, and Oscar, who has just got his daughter pregnant.
THE GOOD
EVERYTHING. Seriously.
The characters are all a joy. Masterfully played out stereotypes that are fun to see dance about in this ballet of laughs. At the time this came out, the closest anyone thought of Stallone in a comedy was Tango and Cash, so like many people I was hesitant.
Everyone plays their part so well that I can’t tell you who my favourite is. Every time a new scene comes on with another character – that’s my new favourite. Marisa Tomei is beautiful as always, and Ornella Muti is so beautiful. As is their other daughter (Elizabeth Barondes). The one that isn’t Lisa. (that line is so funny – you will thank me later) And Tim Curry is so good I have run out of adjectives.
Dear God this is a funny movie, and Stallone is brilliant in it. But the REAL comedy masters were the writers. Each scene steps so perfectly into the next scene, and there is SO much going on and all of it is funny. The amazing part is that you can keep up. Its not hard. Unless you missed a scene cleaning up the soda that just came out of your nose.
THE BAD
Don’t go pee. If you do, make everyone suffer your absence on pause. Don’t miss a scene. Catching up on this whole intricate mess is so finely woven that if one thread is out of place its all you will see. You will miss out on the awesome interaction of characters trying to figure out what happened.
OVERALL
This is the kind of movie that makes you want to clap in the theater when its over. You might forget to exhale as it goes along so remind yourself every now and then that laughing does require oxygen.
I am going to introduce a new rating system for my Forgotten Fridays picks.
Since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I had a Tv, Rent or Buy scale going on, but it would seem that an overwhelming majority of my picks get a BUY rating.
So with every Forgotten Friday you see from now on, you get to rate your anticipation for yourself!
TV – If you are at least a little curious, catch it if it comes on TV. Rent – If it is something you have heard of and forgotten, or just remember enjoying this as much as I did once upon a time, go rent it. Buy – But if you are like me, and you agree with my review you should go buy it. If its featured here, I already have.
Thanks for checking out our Forgotten Fridays feature. This is a feature to review some older films that maybe you have forgotten about or maybe never got around to seeing that we just want to share. They may not be old, maybe not forgotten, but they are not new. Just fun to share.
Today’s review is Highlander
THE GENERAL IDEA
Born in the Highlands of Scotland in 1518, Connor Macleod is immortal. When he is wounded in battle but does not die, he is banished from his village and finding a life of solitude with a wife, he meets another like himself, Ramirez, who teaches him swordsmanship–the only way to kill another immortal is to take his head–and the ways of the immortals. Modern-day New York is the location of “The Gathering,” where Connor and the few remaining immortals must battle to the last for “The Prize.”
THE GOOD
Before I get into the heart of the film I want to touch on how amazing the soundtrack was. Queen dominates this film and it is almost confusing to think of the soundtrack album as anything but a Queen Album. And it fits the film so perfectly. Queen was in a world of their own, and so was Connor MacLeod.
The fantasy element is beautifully played. There are SO many questions that require answers, but you just don’t care. They talk about “The Prize” and you feel the urgency and desire to acquire it. It’s tangible, its real, and yet you don’t care that no one explains what the prize is (Until the epilogue) Why are they immortal? Who made them this way and to what end? What is drawing them to this final “Gathering”? But its played out so wonderfully that you just accept that this is what is happening and you get sucked into the story.
Some films suffer trying to explain to much. This movie has a LOT that needs explaining, but does a wonderful job giving you as much as you need to know so you don’t care that its not all spelled out for you.
Lambert plays his character and defines him. Sean Connery is spot on and entertaining as hell (he has some stinkers but this isn’t one of them) and his brotherly chemistry with Lambert makes you really feel his kinship with Connor. The Kurgen is deliciously evil for the sake of evil. There is no deep backstory to him. He is just an asshole. An immortal asshole. And evil. He serves his purpose and is amusing enough without ruining his hardcore evil imagery. (Watch for his neck wound held together with safety pins – awesome)
THE BAD
The effects are a little dated but cool for its time, and don’t hold up to today’s standards. This might be distracting to some.
OVERALL
This film impacted me on more than one level. It is highly under rated, and is a brand for the hardcore geek. I have to remind myself of how old this film is when people don’t understand references to Sea
Everytime they add to the mythos instead of letting this wonderful story stand on its own, they devalue the entire premise of the immortals conflict and the Gathering. I didn’t hate the TV spinoffs, but their very presence bothered me.
And for every reason that this movie is great, all the sequels are not.
There can only be ONE!!! Unless there is another.
Typically this is where we would write a “Out of 10″ rating, but since all of these Forgotten Friday reviews are going to be what I would already give a high rating to, I have made my own rating system.
TV – Make a point of watching it if you see it listed on TV. Rent – Good enough to go out of your way to see it, but not enough to buy it. Buy – So good. You will watch it again and again. Buy it!
