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Hey there folks. I’m back for another installment of The Movie Blog podcast. Whheeeeee.
I’m flying solo today, and I decided to use the time to discuss:
1) The Christian Bale post from the other day
2) Chronicles of Narnia 3 Gets A Release Date
3) My fears about the Watchmen movie
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Well, today is the official opening day of “Twilight”. A very highly anticipated movie… not because of the marketing campaign (which has been average at best), but because of the rabid and loyal following that the book series has. With that in mind, I thought it would be an appropriate time to put together a top 100 movies list of movies that were based on books.
Whenever I hear of a new movie coming out based on a popular book or comic book or a sequel, I instantly hear naysayers complaining about a “lack of creativity in hollywood”. “Why not write something original” some will say. But I say thank goodness gifted screenwriters adapt novels into movies! As you can see from my list, some of the greatest movies in the history of film were adapted from books… films that I can’t even imagine what the world of film would look like today if they never came to be.
So I spent a couple of weeks putting together this list with three purposes in mind:
1) To highlight the important role books have played in the movie world
2) To draw attention to some fantastic movies that some of you may have never taken the time to watch before
3) To draw attention to the fact that these movies are indeed based on books, which may encourage you to try reading them (which I confess is a little hypocritical of me since I’ve only read a fraction of the books here.)
Now let me emphasize this next point very explicitly. THIS LIST IS NOT A LIST OF THE BEST BOOKS OR WHICH MOVIES DID THE BEST JOB ADAPTING FROM THE BOOK. It is a list of the best movies which happen to be BASED on books. Also, while I did not include Graphic Novels or Comic Books in this list, I do include short stories or novellas since they are usually a part of a single issue collection.
Like all movie lists, this one is subjective and in no way authoritative. The main purpose of which is to spark discussion and maybe interest in seeing some of these fantastic films again, or for the first time. So now I present to you The Movie Blog’s Top 100 Movies Based On Books:
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#100 – THE JOY LUCK CLUB Rottem Tomatoes Rating – 90% Synopsis: Through a series of flashbacks, four young chinese women born in America and their respective mothers born in feudal China, explore their past. This search will help them understand their difficult mother/daughter relationship. John’s Thought: Yes, I am a heterosexual male… and I loved this movie. |
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#99 – THE MAMBO KINGS Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 78% Synopsis: Musician brothers Cesar and Nestor leave Cuba for America in the 1950s, hoping to hit the top of the Latin music scene. Cesar is the older brother, the business manager, and the ladies’ man. Nestor is the brooding songwriter, who cannot forget the woman in Cuba who broke his heart. John’s Thought: No Antonio! Too sexy! Too Sexy! |
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#98 – STARDUST Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 76% Synopsis: “Stardust,” based on the best-selling graphic novel by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess, takes audiences on an adventure that begins in a village in England and ends up in places that exist in an imaginary world. A young man named Tristan (Charlie Cox) tries to win the heart of Victoria (Sienna Miller), the beautiful but cold object of his desire, by going on a quest to retrieve a fallen star. His journey takes him to a mysterious and forbidden land beyond the walls of his village. On his odyssey, Tristan finds the star, which has transformed into a striking girl named Yvaine (Claire Danes). John’s Thought: Easily the single most underrated and under appreciated film of 2007 |
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#97 – FRIED GREEN TOMATOES Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 82% Synopsis: A heartwarming tale of family, friendship and murder in rural Georgia. In a Southern nursing home, a feisty resident and old local fixture named Ninny Threadgoode (Tandy) befriends Evelyn Couch (Kathy Bates) a depressed housewife and stirs her to action with an inspirational tale. She tells the story of a transcendent friendship between two young women living in Georgia in the 1930s, Idgie Threadgoode (Mary Stuart Masterson) and Ruth (Mary Louise Parker), who forge a powerful bond after witnessing a terrible tragedy together. The two women open a cafe (where fried green tomatoes are a house specialty) together in their small Southern town of Whistle Stop and manage to survive the hardships of life, despite racism, prejudice and the pressures of trying to live their lives as individuals in a strict and close-minded Southern society. John’s Thought: Powerful cast, powerful story. An honestly moving film. |
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#96 – THE SHINING Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 86% Synopsis: A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where an evil and spiritual presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from the past and of the future John’s Thought: Iconic film with some of the most quoted one liners from a horror film in history. |
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#95 – PATRIOT GAMES Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 80% Synopsis: Jack Ryan, the hero of Tom Clancy’s techno-thriller series, returns in the sequel to _The Hunt for Red October_. Ryan is on vacation in England when he spoils an assassination attempt on an important member of the Royal Family. Ryan gets drawn back into the CIA when the same splinter faction of the IRA targets him and his family. John’s Thought: Once again proving you CAN change actors and still make the franchise work. Ford in his prime and my introduction to the brilliance of Sean Bean. |
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#94 – WAG THE DOG Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 84% Synopsis: When a Firefly Girl accuses the president of sexual misconduct in the Oval Office less than two weeks before the upcoming election, White House official Winifred Ames (Anne Heche) is told to bring in Conrad Bream (Robert De Niro) to fix the situation and save the president’s chances for reelection. This mysterious “fixer” fabricates a conflict with Albania in an effort to detract attention from the sex scandal, bringing in legendary Hollywood producer Stanley Motss (Dustin Hoffman) to “produce” the war. When the CIA foils the initial plot, the creative team turns to a new story line, creating the saga of a U.S. soldier left behind enemy lines whom the president vows to find and return to American soil. John’s Thought: Especially funny watching this movie now after the events of the last 8 years. Hard to go wrong with Hoffman and DiNero before he started sucking. |
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#93 – CHARLOTTE’S WEB Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 74% Synopsis: Wilbur the pig is scared of the end of the season, because he knows that come that time, he will end up on the dinner table. He hatches a plan with Charlotte, a spider that lives in his pen, to ensure that this will never happen. John’s Thought: Loved this as a kid, still love it today and will leave it on whenever I stumble across it channel surfing. Much better than the Julia Roberts voiced one from a couple of years ago. |
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#92 – PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1940) Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 88% Synopsis: From the classic novel by Jane Austen about the morals and mores of the class system in early Georgian England. The intelligent and spirited Elizabeth Bennet is one of 5 daughters — which, during that era, meant trouble: because women cannot inherit, upon her father’s death her family’s home will become the property of their nearest male relative. Only marriage, preferably to someone wealthy, can ensure her security. But the proud young lady instantly takes offense when Mr. Darcy, a promising newcomer in town, doesn’t seem quite admiring enough, and she spurns his advances. Slowly and painfully, Elizabeth realizes her error, but not before it seems she has lost him forever. John’s Thought: Easily the best adaptation of this book ever done. Not taking away from any of the other ones… but Olivier rules. |
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#91 – THE NOTEBOOK Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 51% Synopsis: The movie focuses on an old man reading a story to an old woman in a nursing home. The story he reads follows two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, who meet one evening at a carnival. But they are separated by Allie’s parents who dissaprove of Noah’s unwealthy family, and move Allie away. After waiting for Noah to write her for several years, Allie meets and gets engaged to a handsome young soldier named Lon. Allie, then, with her love for Noah still alive, stops by Noah’s 200-year-old home that he restored for her, “to see if he’s okay”. It is evident that they still have feelings for each other, and Allie has to choose between her fiancé and her first love. John’s Thought: I avoided seeing this for a couple of years because it had “chick flick” written all over it. My loss… turned out it’s an exceptional film. |
Making any sort of “Top 10″ list is always a tricky and dangerous thing. As I always say, all film is subjective, and that means no one on the planet will 100% agree with my list (and believe it or not, you’ll have a hard time finding people who 100% agree with your list too), and the real beauty of it is that neither of us is objectively wrong. That’s the best thing about film.
So why have these lists? Because they’re great for discussion and debate and give us as film fans yet another excuse just to think about, talk about and celebrate some of the greatest movies ever made. So why not?
Exactly 3 years ago today, I put up my first Top 10 Animated Films list, so I thought it would be an interesting exercise to do another list, and then see how it has changed from the original one I did. I’d also like to repeat something I said back in 2005:
“I should also mention that I’m NOT ranking these by technical merit. If I was, then Final Fantasy The Spirits Within would be #1. I’m ranking these by how well they performed as movies. Did they make me FEEL something, laugh, get choked up and most importantly get interested in the characters and their story.”
So with that said, I now present to you The Movie Blog’s Top 10 Best Animated Films of All Time:
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#10 – SPIRITED AWAY Perhaps more than any other film on this list, Spirited Away has the magical ability to envelop you in the wonder of fantasy. I remarkably solid story, beautiful style and re-watchability. It just barely failed to make my list last time, but I seem to appreciate it more and more each year |
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#9 – CHARLOTTE’S WEB (1973) That’s one fine Pig. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind the 2006 version at all… but it lacked the pure heart of the original. I also think it was the first movie that actually scared me as a kid. It took me a little while to eat pork again. Clearly I got over it. I LOVE this movie. |
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#8 – TOY STORY I’m actually a bit surprised this movie comes in this low on my list. The first legitimate hit 3d animated film was far more than just novelty. It set the standard for Pixar to make movies, not cartoons. To tell tales with wonderful characters and meaningful stories rather than just the regular tripe you can get away with easily in the name of making “kids movies” |
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#7 – THE INCREDIBLES Without exaggeration I think I’ve watched this movie from start to finish about 15 times… and I haven’t yet started to get bored with it. Funny and exciting, the film is also surprisingly deep in terms of dealing with issues like aging, family, priorities and marriage. Not just your average kids movie. |
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#6 – RATATOUILLE The #1 critically rated movie (not just animated movie) of 2007, and yet was not nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars… pretty much delegitimizing the entire “animated feature” category they have at the annual awards. This was (in my opinion) one of the best films of the year and it didn’t get its due because of the medium it used. Pure rubbish if you ask me (funny how no one did). |
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#5 – IRON GIANT One of those rare movies that I remember not even enjoying the very first time I saw it… but then I watched it again for some reason and liked it more. Then again and I liked it even more. 10 times in now and my enjoyment of it seems to continue to grow with each and every viewing. Funny how some random and heavily digitized tone talking is Vin Diesel’s best performance ever. |
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#4 – BEAUTY AND THE BEAST This movie is nothing short of beautiful. In my opinion the best music of any animated film, and the only animated film in history to actually be nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards (well deserved too). This movie is a masterpiece that makes me look forward to being a parent someday so I can share it with my kids. |
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#3 – TOY STORY 2 One of the greatest sequels of all time and one of the very rare ones that actually out does the original. As the story goes, Toy Story 2 was meant to be direct to video… but as development progressed the powers that be recognized they had something pretty special on their hands and decided to make it a wide theatrical release. Good thing they did. One of the only wide release films in history to hold a perfect 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. |
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#2 – WALL-E I don’t know why I doubted Pixar… but for some reason going into Wall-E I had my doubts it was even going to be any good. My dear sweet heavens it was far beyond anything I could have hoped for or imagined. A magnificent story told with movement and drama communicated with setting. Breathtaking in its scope yet endearing in its simplicity. I’m going to blow a gasket if this movie doesn’t at least get nominated for Best Picture this year. |
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#1 – THE LION KING No matter how many times I watch it, when the movie starts with the sun peaking over the African horizon and those voices start to sing the opening to “The Circle Of Life”, something in me stirs… and it doesn’t stop until the film ends. The first time I saw it 14 year ago I knew I had just seen a movie that would stay with me forever. Still today, in my opinion, the best animated movie ever made. |
HONORABLE MENTION (In no particular order)
– The Triplets of Belleville
– Cinderella
– Aladin
– Princess Mononoke
– Sleeping Beauty
– Fantasia
So there you go folks. Now I’m certain you have lots to say about this list, both yays and nays. So what do you think of the list in general? Which films do you feel I’ve unfairly snubbed? Which films would you remove? Have your say and start the discussion.
In celebration of April Fools we thought we would celebrate with a list of our most beloved ha ha moments in film. I may be missing some fantastic scenes, and for this very reason I would ask you to share and discuss your favorites in the comments section!
1) Borat – Wrestling In Hotel
When I first saw this scene in the theatre I was bent in half from laughing so hard, Cohen has been known to press his luck with authorities, but to wrestle Ken Davidian nude in the middle of a seminar full of strangers took a tremendous amount of balls; and we are in their debt for taking this chance.
2) Airplane – I Take It Black, Like My Men
When a young boy asks a young girl if she wants cream in her coffee, she responds with this comment that is right out of left field. Airplane is full of fantastic one liners, but this one remains my favorite. The set up is outstanding and the delivery was perfect.
3) The Saddest Music In The World – Man Drinks Out Of Glass Leg
I saw this film just recently and it is a dark comedic masterpiece. A doctor who cut off his lover’s legs in a tragic accident years ago, seeks to woo her back with beer filled glass gams. His own son (Mark Mc Kinney) steals the legs and offers them to her as a gift; winning her affection in the process. To deal with this tragedy, the father stars to drink out of a spare glass leg as he reminisces about his lost love.
4) Brain Candy – The Happiest Memory
A pill locks you into your happiest memory and causes you to live in a state of bliss. Through the magic of cinema we see the happiest moment of Mrs. Hurdiker’s life, and it is a tremendously sad and unfortunate holiday. This scene is hilarious because it shows us the best moment of her life – so the rest in comparison must be a wasteland or sorrow and loneliness. The Kids In The Hall are among the greatest sketch troupes in history and it is a fucking shame that they don’t make more movies together.
5) Revenge Of The Nerds – Tricycle Race
Toshiro takes an alcohol suppressant in the drunken tricycle race, but still gets incredibly hammered. When asked how he is feeling at the 18th lap pit stop he responds by saying Fucking Great! I remember losing it as a kid watching this scene and it’s just as funny today.
6) 40 Year Old Virgin – Chest Waxing
You could see the strain on the actor’s faces in this scene. It took everything they had not to break character and lose their minds laughing. Each punch-line is delivered with severe pain as hair is ripped from Carrel’s chest. This scene was forged in pain, like all great comedy.
7) Team America World Police – Doll Sex
Funniest sex scene ever. This film also has the greatest comedic vomiting scene of all time.
8) The Big Lebowski – Nobody Fucks With The Jesus
A convicted pedophile names Jesus is the bowling nemesis to our band of heroes. The shit slinging dialogue between them is as classic as it gets.
9) The Party – Birdy Num Num
Peter Sellers talks to a bird and repeats the words “Birdy Num Num.” It doesn’t sound funny, but watch Sellers dance – he is a master.
10) Monty Python and the Holy Grail – Black Knight
Dismemberment + denial = hilarious.
11) Strange Wilderness – Laughing Shark
This was a bad movie with some funny scenes, the laughing shark footage is among the funniest ever made.
12) Welfare Party/Flodder – Get Off Your Sister
This Dutch comedy features a white trash family full of ill mannered antics. The sister is an unstoppable force of whoredom and at one point of the film he mother has to break up a sexual encounter she is having with her brother. If you can get your hands on this one – you will be glad you did.
13) Star Trek 4 – Spock Mind Melds With Whale
This may not be funny to many others, but I found this scene to be incredibly entertaining. I think this may be the funniest moment in a Sci-Fi film. Spock is in a whale tank, looking like an escaped mental patient and is mind melding with a whale to save the future.
14) Anchorman – Milk Was A Bad Choice
Ron Burgandy shamed, humiliated and robbed of the job that completes him, shambles the streets as a broken, breaded man. Under the heat of the noon day sun the drifter holds his big box of milk high and proclaims it to be a bad choice. We have all been there.
After taking his grandsons to a dog fight, Royal Tennenbaum is confronted by Chas (the father of the boys). When a spot is discovered on one of the face of one of the children Royal is relieved to find out it is only Dogs Blood. When Chas freaks on royal and tells him to stay away from his children, the elder Tennenbaum suggests his son is having a nervous breakdown brought on by the death of his wife.
You know that awesome feeling you get when you put on a jacket or a pair of pants you haven’t worn in a while… then you go out and at some point you stick your hands in the pockets and to your surprise you discover there’s a $20 bill in there that you totally forgot or didn’t know about? That’s the same kind of feeling I get whenever I go see a film that I don’t really think will be any good… but then ends up being much better than I thought it would be.
So in this season of year end lists (We’re still going to do Most Disappointing, and Most Overrated lists this week), I thought we’d share our top ten surprising films of the year.
HOW THIS LIST WORKS
The #1 film on this list is not necessarily the “best” film on the list… just the one that has the biggest gap between how bad I thought it would be, and how good it ended up being. So #5 might be the best film on the list… but if it was only 27% better than I thought it would be, then the film that wasn’t as good, but was 75% better than I thought it would be would rank higher. Got it?
THE MOST SURPRISING FILMS OF 2007
1) MR. BROOKS
2 words ladies and gentlemen.. Kevin… Costner. Really, that name sends negative connotations rushing through your head, but this brilliant film ended up very nearly making my top 10 films of the year list. The scenes between Costner and William Hurt were some of the most compelling character interactions on screen this year. Awesome movie, and easily my biggest surprise of 2007.
2) STARDUST
The only reason this film isn’t #1 is because the presence of Michelle Pheiffer, Rpbert De Nero and Claire Danes gave me some hope even though it was one of the worst marketing campaigns of all time. This film did end up on my Top 10 Films of the year list.
3) NEXT
i thought this would be worse than garbage, but I actually ended up mildly enjoying this little flick. The premies was very good, Cage was actually very funny in it and oddly enough I loved the ending.
4) TMNT
Wow, I preached for about 4 months about how awful this movie was going to be. I warned everyone to have no hope for it at all. However, while TMNT certainly didn’t end up as a classic… I had fun with it and had to eat my words to a lot of people.
5) REIGN OVER ME
Little throw away film that I thought MIGHT have some potential… but WOW this movie ended up being fantastic. Came very close to cracking my top 10 list, but it certainly made the top 15. I think Adam Sandlers best performance of his career, and yes that includes Punch Drunk.
6) WAITRESS
Kerri Russell’s career had been pretty much dead since she cut her hair, so this little indy film didn’t look like it had much potential… and to be honest the only reason I went to see it was because Fox invited me to a screening and I really wanted to see the Fox Lot. Once again, ended up in my top 15 and almost on the top 10. Russell is back, Fillion is great as always and the story is just pure sweet as pie. Loved this movie.
7) LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD
I knew the film had some potential, but I don’t think anyone thought it would end up quite as good as it was. Many thought that being rated PG13 instead of R would ruin the film… it didn’t
8) HAIRSPRAY
A bad looking musical ends up being remarkably charming
9) DISTURBIA
We all knew this “Shia” kid was going to be in Transformers, but most of us had no idea if this kid could actually act (who knew… now it looks as if he’s the next Tom Hanks)
10) OCEAN’S THIRTEEN
Never count out a cast like this or a director like this… so I did have some expectation for Ocean’s Thirteen… but with the disapointment of Ocean’s Twelve those expectations weren’t very high. Glad to say this one built on all that was good about the first one instead of all that was bad about the second one.
(THERE ARE NEWER STORIES BELOW. WE’RE JUST KEEPING THIS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE FOR TODAY) It’s getting to be that time of the year again… time for us to start talking about the best and in this case, the worst movies of 2007. This year gave us some truly awful films (but surprisingly, not as many as last year) that all deserve an honored place on this mighty list.
There is a little bit of everything on this year’s “Worst of” list. Some sequel action, some comedy, some horror… but all of them celebrating sucking. So let us celebrate the suckage together as we are pleased to run down for you The Movie Blog’s 10 Worst Films of 2007.
1) SPIDER-MAN 3
There was only 1 film I was looking forward to more in 2007 than Spider-Man 3, and that was Transformers. I really liked the first Spider-Man film… and I thought Spider-Man 2 was one of the best Comic Book movies ever made. No reason to suspect anything less than brilliance for Spider-Man 3 right? RIGHT??? Wrong. Sam Raimi (who I think rules) just ran out of creative gas for this franchise and just mailed it in. Oh how creative… the bad guy is going to get at Spider-Man by kidnapping MJ and hanging her from a high place… just like they did in #2…. just like they did in #1. Emo Spidey. Raping the image of Venom. Stupid story. Needless new side characters. Dance scenes. And ultimately this movie should have been called “Spider-Man 3: MJ’s Career Troubles”, because the film spent far more time on MJ’s struggles as an actress than it did on either villain, including the one we all wanted to see more of. I could go on and on and on and on… but I’ll leave it there. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Movie Blog presents to you the worst film of 2007. Spider-Man 3.
2) THE NUMBER 23
Also high on my “anticipated films of 2007″ list was this amazing looking thriller with Jim Carrey in the lead. The concept sounded so very good. Carrey himself looked like he would knock this one out of the park. The trailers and images looked fantastic… and then I saw it. Wow… just wow. The whole movie you’re just waiting for something to happen… but it never really does. Ridiculous story “twists”, major continuity problems, and just a total disregard for common sense and the intelligence of the audience. The most boring and painfully slow film of the year… and when it finally gets to the pay off at the end, it just makes it worse. I can understand why Carrey took this role. On the surface it looked like it had a lot of promise… but those promises were dirty dirty LIES (said in high pitched german female voice)!
3) THE CONDEMNED
There are certain films that should be no brainers and pretty easy to make. Zombie movies for example. Make some virus, it turns people into zombies, the zombies kill a lot of people… it’s not hard. A simple action film with “Stone Cold Steve Austin” should have been the easiest thing on the planet. Just have lots of over the top action, some witty macho one liners and a few hot chicks. It’s not classic cinema, but it would appeal to your target audience and keep them happy. Well, they screwed it up. Steve Austin should have never opened his mouth in the film, the action was sub-par, and for some reason they tried to integrate a political espionage element with the grieving wife back home sub-plot. Ouch this movie sucked.
4) SHREK 3
Another franchise I just adored. 1 was really good, 2 was hilarious, so I had high hopes for Shrek 3. Here’s the thing… if you’re going to have a comedy, then the one thing it absolutely MUST have is laughs. A weak story in a comedy can be forgiven if it has great laughs. Bad acting can be over looked if it has great laughs. Bad pacing, bad direction, bad effects, bad dialog can all be over looked if a comedy movie has great laughs. HOWEVER, you can have everything else in spades… but without the laughs the movie fails. This movie (without exaggeration) had 1 laugh that came near the end of the film. Even the kids didn’t laugh. Such a let down from such a fun franchise.
5) DADDY DAY CAMP
Hey everyone, gather around the camp fire. I’m going to tell you a story. It’s a story about a time long ago when Cuba Gooding Jr. actually had a career worth talking about. I know that sounds like a far fetched story… but it’s actually true. This guy even won an Oscar once. But then, some big bad evil agent started feeding Cuba poison apples disguised as scripts, and Cuba ate them up. But seriously, how on earth did any studio anywhere end up liking a pitch that involved a follow up to an Eddie Murphy comedy without Eddie Murphy?!?! Such an awful movie. Cuba, you’re better than this… we’ve all seen what you can do. Wake up and stop eating those damn apples.
6) BRATZ
Do you get the irony? A group of plastic teen girls who’s moral message is for young girls to “be themselves” all while trying to convince them to conform to modern popular trends. Oh yeah girls… and dress like sluts too. I’m hardly qualified to be the moral compass of America… but holy crap, if I had a daughter I’d never in a million years let her watch or be influenced by this crap. I’d rather she listen to Manson for heaven’s sake. Unlike Daddy Day Camp, I can understand why a movie like this would get the green light (having such a popular brand following, it was guaranteed to at least make back it’s money) but come on… at least PRETEND like you care about making a half decent movie. Just pretend. We’re not expecting Oscars out of it… just make it so I don’t want to scratch out my eyes when watching it.
7) ARE WE DONE YET?
Yeah, we’ve come a long way my friends from the bad ass mo’ fo’ Ice Cube from straight out of Compton. Now he a neutered wussy bad disney-esque family man comedy whore. This movie was just all kinds of horrible. Every cliche and over used formula and sight gag that could be pulled out of cold storage was used to cheese supremacy. If you’re going to do a film like this, you’ve got to at least make the family endearing… or somewhat believable. Neither were the case here with Are We Done Yet. The one good thing I can say about Are We Done Yet, is that unlike most movies today, it lived up to the potential of the trailer. Yes, it was one of the worst trailers of all time. How on earth this movie made more than $2 million is beyond me.
8) FANTASTIC FOUR 2
Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Let’s do a sequel to Fantastic Four… only this time let’s put more cheese into it, take out even more of the action, and let’s do what Spider-Man 3 did by introducing to the screen a character all the comic fans want to see, and then hardly ever have him on the screen… oh… and make sure he doesn’t get into any fights in the movie. Fantastic Four 2 took the failures of the first one, and built on them instead of building on the few things the first one did right. A comic book action movie where the BIGGEST fight was the Fantastic Four vs a Ferris Wheel. Yes, you read that right. The big fight involving the whole Fantastic Four Team was then they has to combat the evil forces of a falling Ferris Wheel. Go team! The film was called “Rise of the Silver Surfer” and yet the Surfer has just a little more screen time in the movie than I did.
9) I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY
Is it just me, or does it feel like the better and better Adam Sandler is becoming as an actor, the less and less funny his comedies are becoming? It used to be the other way around. Sandler was hilarious but couldn’t act worth beans…. but he’s grown. This past year “Reign Over Me” was one of the best surprise movies of the year and Sandler was brilliant in it… but then comes I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry and it seems like Sandler has just totally lost his edge/touch. Ranchy does not equal funny. Raunchy can be funny, it can be very funny. But it’s not an equation. The jokes and feel for this horrible film got really tired about 5 minutes into it. And I’m sorry, but Adam Sandler always beening the great looking, hottest, toughest guy around roles are just too much and are starting to come off as pretty damn narcissistic. The whole movie felt like a great idea for a 7 minute SNL skit… but it got dragged out to almost 2 hours.
10) HOSTEL 2
Someone needs to remind Eli Roth that gross does not equal scary. In Hostel 1, Roth gave a nice mixture of grossness with tension and suspense. There was also a mild dash of mystery to it as well. In that kind of environment, torture porn tactics can be VERY effective, and they were in Hostel 1. But for some reason all of that got thrown out the window for Hostel 2, and all we were left with was “He guys, watch this awful thing we’re going to do to this girl”. It becomes nothing but a demonstration of gore without any of the substance of horror to go along with it. So instead of scaring us, it just made us want to cover our eyes. When you do both, it’s classic, when you do just the one, it’s a waste of time. That pretty much sums up Hostel 2… a giant gory waste of time.
AND LET’S NOT FORGET THE DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Licensed To Wed
The Last Legion
Wild Hogs
Norbit
Hitman
Awake
Reno 911: Miami
Stay tuned as next week we hand out our Movie Blog Awards to the Best of 2007!
Trying to come up with a measuring stick for “who is smartest” is like trying to objectively define “who is better looking”. You can’t really objectively do it… but you can give your opinion and demonstrate why you believe it. The other day, Entertainment Weekly put out their list of the 50 Smartest People In Hollywood, and I’ve got to tell you, I not only like their list, but also much of the reasoning behind their choices… including Ben Affleck’s selection at #50 (no… seriously).
Obviously I would make some changes to the list… but overall it’s a pretty solid one.
HERE ARE THE TOP 10
1) JUDD APATOW
WHY? – This year, he didn’t just bring the funny; he changed the whole funny business. On the heels of The 40 Year-Old Virgin, he hit the zeitgeist with two raunchy-yet-resonant laughfests — Knocked Up and Superbad — that mopped up a combined $270 million. Dramas are tanking, comedy is king, and Apatow is defining humor for this generation. His frank sex comedies have an innocent center: All that horniness aside, love, friendship, and commitment do matter.
2) STEVEN SPIELBERG (Well DUH!)
WHY? – No other filmmaker has a sharper understanding of how to arrange a story on a movie screen. Thirty-two years after inventing the Event Movie with Jaws, Spielberg isn’t just some Mt. Rushmore-like figure looming over Hollywood. He greenlit most of DreamWorks’ slate this year, handed to him by production head Adam Goodman. As a producer, he saw the blockbuster potential of Transformers when few others did and the star potential in Shia LaBeouf before the actor broke out in DreamWorks’ Disturbia. Not that he doesn’ t miss the mark sometimes. The public passed on Munich, and selling DreamWorks to Paramount turned out to have been a bad idea. But has any filmmaker in history shaped American culture more?
3) JAMES CAMERON
WHY? – He’s reinventing the technology of cinema and may alter the entire industry along with it. Ten years after Titanic made $1.8 billion worldwide, Cameron is at work on the futuristic Avatar, a top secret 3-D project involving a super-advanced stereoscopic technique (and a camera system he designed) that supposedly allows him to digitally manipulate actors into any shape he desires with even more startling realism than in Beowulf. Peter Jackson’ s effects team at Weta is involved, and Spielberg, Jackson, and a few others have popped in on Cameron to take a peek at the future.
4) ARI EMANUEL
WHY? – In just over a decade, he’s built Endeavor from the ground up, taken on the industry’s big four talent agencies, and made his the second-most powerful in town.
5) WILL SMITH (Don’t laugh, I think this is 100% bang on when you think about it)
WHY? – He has revitalized and redefined old-fashioned movie stardom in an era when movie stardom has become small and suspect. After hitting the scene in the mid-’80s as rapper Fresh Prince, then transitioning successfully to TV, Smith soon demonstrated surprising versatility and a knack for picking blockbusters that have given him license to do…well, anything, from Oscar-nominated drama (The Pursuit of Happyness) to event-film spectacle (I Am Legend).
6) MERYL STREEP
WHY? – She’s rewritten the rules. By age 50, actresses are supposed to be extinct. Even with 14 Oscar nominations, Streep should have been shuffled into granny roles by now. Instead, she’s blown the roof off ageism. The Devil Wears Prada grossed $125 million, making her more bankable at 57 than she was at 37. She’s doing some of her best work (Adaptation, The Hours) and redefining what middle age looks like. Most important, she’s opened the door for those behind her, giving Julia and Nicole and Reese a shot at careers beyond their first gray hairs.
7) TYLER PERRY
WHY? – When Hollywood studios passed on him, he decided to pass them by. For 10 years, Perry has built a dedicated black, pro-faith audience with his ”chitlin circuit” plays and parlayed himself into a powerful brand. Almost every movie he’s made — e.g., Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Why Did I Get Married? — has opened at No. 1, proving that his name above the title can generate millions. Now he’s using his clout to create a self-sustaining empire, including his own studio in Atlanta and a $200 million TV deal with TBS.
8) PETER RICE
WHY? – His impeccable taste and savvy business skills have transformed Fox Searchlight into the gold standard for studio specialty divisions. Together with distribution chief Stephen Gilula and marketing maven Nancy Utley, Rice sees the profit potential in unconventional films and turns low-budget indies into genre sensations (28 Days Later), culture-shifting comedies (Napoleon Dynamite), acting showcases (The Last King of Scotland), and Oscar bait (Sideways, this year’s Once and Juno).
9) DAVID HEYMAN
WHY? – As a Producer, he has expertly steered the highest-grossing global franchise in film history. Heyman secured the rights to the Harry Potter books in 1997 and has done just about everything right since, including bonding with author J.K. Rowling and wisely seeking her input. He helped find unexpected directors (e.g., Alfonso Cuarón, David Yates) who’ve kept things fresh. And he’s kept the cast intact through five films, without any of his three teenage stars succumbing to a Lohanesque episode.
10) JOHN KNOLL (I worship this guy)
WHY? – He designed some of the most groundbreaking computer-generated effects of this generation. In 1989 he helped conjure the morphing magic in James Cameron’s The Abyss, and he has overseen the effects on all three Star Wars prequels and the entire Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Long after audiences forget that Orlando Bloom is even in Pirates, they’ll remember the startling octopus face of Davy Jones, a breakthrough in realistic animation. As studios increasingly depend on blockbusters to stay in the black, visual effects have become indispensable to their success. The industry has come to rely on ILM to blow audiences’ minds every time out of the gate. Thanks in large part to Knoll, it does.
SOME OTHER NOTABLES
13) GEORGE CLOONEY
14) JERRY BRUCKHEIMER
16) PETER JACKSON
17) WILL FERRELL
20) BEN STILLER
21) JOHNNY DEPP
27) MICHAEL MOORE
29) J.J. ABRAMS
33) ANGELINA JOLIE
34) SACHA BARON COHEN
37) GUILLERMO DEL TORO
45) CATE BLANCHETT
47) AMY POWELL (VP at Paramount who I dealt with when they shut down The Movie Blog )
50) BEN AFFLECK
WHY? – He learned from his mistakes. After bottoming out with his unholy trinity of Gigli, Jersey Girl, and Bennifer, Affleck did something few would dare: He disappeared. Two years later, he was a humble character actor in Hollywoodland; then he adapted and directed Gone Baby Gone with the assuredness of someone who’d been waiting for this shot his whole life.
So there you have it. It’s a very solid list if not perfect. If you’d like to read the whole list with all the explanations, head over to the EW article here.
As many of you know, we here at The Movie Blog have gone through a roller coaster of a November (which ended amazingly), but through the turmoil it made me appreciate just how tough it can be to run a good movie site… so the other day I was going through all my bookmarks and looking at the other movie sites I really appreciate and respect and thought to myself “how on earth do they do it?”.
Anyway, things are usually slow around here on the weekend, so I thought I’d share with you guys some of the other movie websites out there that I really enjoy and think you should check out sometime if you’re not aware of them already.
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
Movies Online – More a movie news headline site than a blog, but the coverage is amazing and the layout and functionality of the site is very slick. Run by my fellow Canadian Mike.
Twitch Film – Founded and still run my Movie Blog Alumnist Todd Brown. Without question the very best Asian/Horror/Foreign film blog on the net
Slashfilm – Run by Peter, who is an excellent writer. Very similar to The Movie Blog in the sense of form, but a very unique voice
Filmstalker – The editor of this site and I don’t even like each other. I clearly don’t visit it often, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s a very good site. The strength is the excellent writing.
IESB – Few harding working guys in the online movie game than Robert. It’s amazing that a site of his size is able to find out the most amazing scoops before much larger bodies do.
Film School Rejects – Is there a better name on the net?
ComingSoon – Well… you all know how close I came to selling The Movie Blog to these guys… be that as it may, still the best pure movie news site on the web.
Cinematical – Did not like this site for the longest time, then it really found its flavor and I’ve been a fan for about a year now.
First Showing – One of the better movie blog style layouts written with a lot of enthusiasm
MTV Movies Blog – I’ll admit I don’t like 70% of the content they produce, but that other 30% is well worth the visit. Because of the MTV name, they’re able to score some of the best scoops. More of a news site than a blog really.
Screenrant - Started about the same time as The Movie Blog, it’s been fun to watch it grow and develop
Movie Patron – I hardly ever agree with any of their opinions over there, but that’s not what’s important. They write well and have a pretty good podcast too.
Film Junk – Run by a couple of friends of ours… but that doesn’t cut you any slack on this list! :P A VERY different voice than The Movie Blog, but one well worth listening to.
Sci Fi Wire – What can I say? I’m a Sci Fi junkie
Cinema Blend – If for no other reason I really like the movie reviews
There are many other sites I like, and I’m sure I’ll kick myself later for forgetting a couple, but if you enjoy online movie pundintry, these are some other great sites to check out.
I came across a VERY surprising list on Yahoo News (Yahoo changed their list to read “next year” instead of 2008)today that was basically the results of a study done of what movie goers most anticipated films of 2008 are. The #1 film really isn’t surprising at all… Indiana Jones 4. That’s a no brainer. #2 wasn’t all that surprising either, Batman. But a number of them really shocked me.
Before I go any further, here’s the list as it broke down:
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Obvious)
2. The Dark Knight (Batman Begins 2) (Again, obvious)
3. National Treasure: Book of Secrets (WHAT!?!?! Really?!?! I’m kinda, mildly looking forward to this too… but #3?!?! More than Get Smart? More than Iron Man? More than Narnia?)
4. American Gangster (Glad to see this rank so high, but still a shock. I thought most people still hadn’t really heard of it yet)
5. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Yeah, right where I thought it would be)
6. Iron Man (Higher than I thought… but not by much)
7. I Am Legend (Will Smith is bankable, no surprise)
8. Get Smart (Really thought this would be higher. Carrell is hot, Get Smart is a beloved title… #8 is good, just thought it would be up there more)
9. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (There are people looking forward to this?)
10. Charlie Wilson’s War (A Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts real life political thriller… you knew it would be on here)
11. Hancock (Again, Smith is bankable… could be fun… sounds a little like a “Captain Amazing” movie)
12. Beowulf (No thank you)
13. His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass (Thought it would be higher)
14. Mamma Mia! (Uggg… no thanks)
15. The Incredible Hulk (Trust me… just trust me… I read the script this week… this movie will ROCK, and when trailer start coming out for this bad boy people will be buzzing)
16. Speed Racer (Don’t care)
17. Step Brothers (Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly together again… but I thought no one heard of it yet)
18. Bee Movie (I’m very surprised this came in this low. The teaser commercials have been cute, it’s the return of Jerry Seinfeld… sort of… why is this movie not getting more love?)
19. Mr. Magnorium’s Wonder Emporium (Meh)
20. Starship Dave (great Odin’s beard… kill it… kill it now)
So there you have it. My personal biggest shock on that list is National Treasure 2 being so damn high on the list. That really caught me off guard. So how about YOU? How would you order these on your anticipation list? What other films coming in 2008 would you include, and which would you bump off to make room for it?
In light of the Warner Bros. controversy yesterday, where it was alleged Warner Bros president of production Jeff Robinov privately said he would no longer consider, or even read, scripts that have women as the main characters (something which predictably WB has denied, and I don’t believe them, but that’s neither here nor there), a commenter suggested a good post topic would be some of our favorite actress lead movies.
Now, I haven’t sat down for hours and given this serious contemplation… these are mostly off the top of my head, so I’m sure many of you can come up with some wonderful actress lead films to add in the comments section, but for now, here is the list of my favorite actress lead films:
1) The Descent - Not everyone agrees, but its the best horror film I’ve seen in 15 years
2) Amelie - Moving, inspiring… all those other cliches
3) Moulie Rouge – I will never understand why more people don’t appreciate this masterpiece.
4) Waitress - Such a special little film for so many reasons
5) Million Dollar Baby – Make no mistake, Clint was good, Morgan was great, but Swank MADE this movie all the way
6) Joy Luck Club - One of the best generation movies I’ve ever seen
7) What’s Love Got To Do With It? - Bassett probably should have won the Oscar that year
8) My Best Friend’s Wedding – SHUT UP! SCREW YOU… I love this movie ok!!!
9) Sophie’s Choice – First Meryl Streep movie I ever saw
10) Thelma and Louise – I know I know I know… it’s totally stereotypical to put this on here… but I’m sorry, it’s a great movie and it deserves to be on here.
Ok, so what actress centric films would you add to a list like this one and why?
There are some terrific films that have been made over the years that were actually remakes. Films like Scarface, The Fly, Lord of the Rings and Ocean’s Eleven are just a couple of examples that prove that remakes CAN work if done right…. just like any other movie project.
I’m one of those people who doesn’t mind the idea of remaking an older film. Yes, it has the potential of sucking… but so does every movie. However, when approaching remakes, I believe there are 4 “rules” or prerequisites that a film should meet in order for a studio to consider producing a remake of it. Here they are:
1) The original has to have a good story
I know that sounds too simple to even mention here, but you’d be surprised. What would be the point of remaking “Freddy Got Fingered”? Story is the base foundation of everything, if the original didn’t have it… then don’t bother.
2) Majority of current audience hasn’t seen the original
This is a big one to me. The strongest argument for doing a remake (to me anyway) is to bring a great story to a modern audience that otherwise wouldn’t have seen it. Yes, they could always go to the Blockbuster and rent it… but there is no debate that most people don’t do that… so why not bring it to them? That being the case, it makes no sense to do a remake if most of the current movie going audience has seen the original. Films like Godfather, Star Wars ect. have been seen by most people (although the number is dwindling now finally) so you wouldn’t be bringing them anything they haven’t already seen for the most part.
3) Original has to be at least 20 years old
I think before a film should be considered for a remake, a legitimate buffer of time between when the original came out, and when you propose to do the remake. This rule is related to rule #2, but if no one saw a great movie that was just out 13 years ago… then chances are you should just leave it alone for a few more years before remaking it.
4) The story would benefit from a modern telling
You have to adapt material moving it from one era to another. The question is can that adaption be made into a modern context, or in the same context but benefit from modern filmmaking techniques and technologies? For example, could the story of Ocean’s Eleven benefit be transporting it into a modern casino context? YES. Or Lord of the Rings. Could it benefit changing mediums from animated to live action utilizing today’s technology to enhance the storytelling? Obviously YES. On the other hand, a film like “The Three Amigos” shouldn’t be remade (yet) because the story as it is and the context in which it was told wouldn’t benefit from an update at all. Undoubtedly at some point it WILL… but not right now, even though it’s more than 20 years old, is a hilarious story and SADLY most people today haven’t seen it.
I think if a film meets these 4 criteria then it’s a prime candidate to be remade… hopefully for the better. Earlier today I wrote that the Hellraiser remake seems to be back on. To me, it meets all the above “rules” and therefore a good one to do. Does that mean it will WORK? Obviously not… but it does mean it’s worth the try.
So what do you think? Would you add any more “rules” or criteria to my list?
Lemy pointed me to this neat list over at thebestweekever.tv this morning. The title of their list is “Top 10 Movies That Ruined Our Childhood Memories”. It’s basically a look at the 10 movies that took your sweet childhood memories and raped them in the bathing suit areas. Here’s the list:
10. Inspector Gadget (1999) Yeah, wow that was terrible. Too bad.
9. The Flintstones (1994) I don’t know that they could have made a worse movie if they tried
8. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) Oddly enough I actually liked this movie. Probably my favorite Tim Burton movie.
7. Garfield (2004)
6. Super Mario Brothers (1993) How the hell did they get Hopper in this movie?
5. Scooby Doo (2002)
4. Street Fighter (1994) No love for JCVD
3. Masters of the Universe (1987) Mock me all you want… I still watch this when it’s on TV
2. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Nuts… I LOVED this movie. Sigh…. oh well
1. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) It pains me to totally agree with this one.
Hey there guys. Well, the other day I put up my mid year report for what I personally think are the 10 best films of the year so far here at the mid way point of 2007. A bunch of people suggested that I put up a list for the WORST 10 films so far. So here we go. These are (in my opinion) the worst 10 films of the year so far.
1) THE CONDEMNED
Look, a brainless action film with Stone Cold Steve Austin should be the easiest thing in the world to not screw up… and yet… they found a way. Hands down the worst film of the year thus far… and I have a hard time imagining anything beating it by the end of the year. I smell Razzie.
2) SPIDER-MAN 3
I am at a total loss to how anyone can attempt to defend this wretched film (but that is the beautiful thing about the movies… we all see different things). Horrible everything. Horrible story, once great characters made shells, horrendous dialog, impossible to buy into conflict, zero character development and sub-plots that no one cared about. As a major fan of this franchise, this film broke my heart almost as much as Phantom Menace did.
3) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3
Yeah, let’s the change everything. Calypso?!?! WTF?!?! All you need to come back from the dead is a boat?!?! WTF?!?! Yuck… I won’t say too much else at the risk of spoiling things for those who still haven’t seen it. All I’ll say is that this pathetic film doesn’t deserve the same name as the original which have on my Top 100 films of all time list. Brutal, awful movie.
4) SHREK 3
I’m one of the few people who actually loved Shrek 2 even more than Shrek 1. Unlike Pixar films, Shrek has never had the strongest stories or most endearing characters… but it ALWAYS made up for it with pure hilarity. So Shrek 3 is exactly the same, except they removed the hilarity. Not kidding, I laughed ONCE in the movie. The theater was full of kids… the KIDS didn’t laugh either. So disappointed.
5) PATHFINDER
I can understand why Karl Urban did this film. I can also understand why he’s been pretending he didn’t ever since it was finished.
6) RENO 911 MIAMI
Fans of the show, please don’t take this as a knock against the show itself… just the movie. Was this supposed to be a comedy?
7) DEATH PROOF
Seeing how the movie is nothing but a set of four chicks sitting around talking about totally irrelevant stuff, only to later be replaced by ANOTHER 4 chicks who just sit around talking about irrelevant stuff… I suggest they change the name of this boring ass film to “THE VIEW: The Movie”. I swear having Kurt Russell sit on a couch and chat with Barbara, Rossie and the rest would have been more interesting.
8) THE NUMBER 23
I was so pumped about this film. The movie looked amazing from the concept… and having Jim Carrey stretch out to this kind of role was interesting to see. Too bad the 4 annoying teenage girls sitting behind us in the theater were more engaging than the film was.
9) EPIC MOVIE
Look, I GET spoof movies. BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM FUNNY!
10) BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE
As one person connected with the movie once told me: “What were we thinking making a Werewolf movie without any fucking werewolves?!?!” He was so right.
So there you have it folks, my personal list of the worst 10 films of the year thus far. My heard hurts just from thinking about these flicks again. So once again, what do you think doesn’t deserve to be on that list? What should be on that list that I didn’t put there?
Well, we’ve reached the half way point of 2007 and I thought it would be fun for weekend discussion to throw together my list of the top 10 films so far this year. Remember, all lists are subjective, and that’s the fun of them. So here you go:
1) TRANSFORMERS
It’s almost not fair to put this on the list since most of you guys haven’t had the chance to see it yet… but since I have seen it, I had to put it here. Hands down this is the best summer blockbuster film I’ve ever seen. The best action film all year, great humor, and genuinely solid characters combined with the greatest visual effects in the history of film make Transformers one hell of an entertaining film. I haven’t looked forward to a film as much as this one since the first Star Wars Prequel…. fortunately THIS one didn’t let me down.
2) RATATOUILLE
I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it again. Pixar is not only the best animation studio around… they are the best movie studio in the world. This organization couldn’t make a less than amazing film if they tried. Ratatouille makes a strong case to possibly be considered the very best film Pixar has done to date. Dazzling animation, terrific storytelling, endearing characters… wow.
3) MR. BROOKS
Never would have thought I’d be putting a Kevin Costner film on my list… but Mr. Brooks has turned out to be one of my favorite films of the year so far. easily the best performance Kevin Costner has given in his career, and the chemistry he and William Hurt have together as the two sides to one personality is creepy, powerful and hilarious at the same time (please note this is not a comedy). Excellent film despite having Dane Cook in it. Get your ass out and see it if you can still find it in a theater near you
4) 300
Finally, a “man’s man” action film that celebrates extreme machismo. Grrrr!
5) WAITRESS
It is a source of great sadness for me that this film never got the full wide release it so richly deserved. Such a simple story, told in such a beautiful way. Kerri Russell is indeed back and her performance in this forces you to sit up and take notice that she intends to be a force in the coming years. Nathan Fillion is at his most charming… and Andy Griffith rules the damn planet. All Kneel before Andy. Holy crap he was funny in this movie
6) REIGN OVER ME
Totally caught me by surprise. A touching, warm film filled with so much sadness that never once came across as forced or cheesy. What breaks y heart even more is to see Adam Sandler give a performance like this one…. and then see him go back to “Ouch, I just got punched in the balls” comedy.
7) SICKO
Love him or hate him, Michael Moore gets people talking. Sicko is a brilliant film… and when Fox gives a Moore film a positive review, you pretty much have to pay attention. See this one… argue about it later
8) DIE HARD 4
No, it doesn’t quite live up to the previous Die Hard films… but that isn’t important. What is important is that Bruce Willis once again delvers the goods and gives us a damn entertaining film.
9) BREACH
Some people didn’t like this film as much as I did, and I guess I can understand why. But to me, a solid film with good tension that never took the simple way out of looking at complex and difficult characters.
10) KNOCKED UP
Mix all the ingredients from The 40 Year Old Virgin in with a touch more seriousness but the same terrific chemistry between Rogan and Rudd and you’ve got a winner
Ok, so there you have it folks. My 10 best films of 2007 at the half way point thus far. I really wanted to include a couple more… but these are the ones I felt strongest for. So what do you think? What shouldn’t be on there? What should be on there that isn’t there?
Cliches… Formulas… whatever terminology you like to call them by, there are certain repeated patterns in films that we’ve all seen a thousands times. Some of those Formulas are fine. For example, the mom who loves her kids… that’s not a stretch and we expect it in normal life, so we expect no less in a movie. However, there are other formulas in films that would have you and I believe they are the norm in real life… when they really aren’t. These can be fine too and not irritate us… but then there are these cliches that I really get sick off and wish more films would avoid.
So now I present to you, in no particular order, the 8 things I’m sick of seeing in movies:
1 – The current boyfriend/husband of the main character’s would be love interest is a total jerk
THE CLICHE: You know what I’m talking about. The “hero” of the film loves a girl, but the girl has a boyfriend. Already you know there is a 97% chance that this boyfriend will end up being a total dick. He yells at her, demeans her, doesn’t respect her. You can’t imagine why on earth she’s with him in the first place… but whatever the reason it doesn’t matter, because you know she’s going to end up with the hero in the end anyway when she finally sees the jerk in question for what he is, and leaves him for the hero.
THE REALITY: Yeah, that girl you dig… well her boyfriend 9 times out of 10 is better looking, funnier, smarter, richer and all round a better person that you… loser.
2 – If a fight breaks out in a bar/restaurnt, EVERYONE will jump in
THE CLICHE: Almost without exception, if two people start fighting in a bar or restaurant in a movie, everyone else will join in. Hell, they’ll start swinging at each other for no good reason other than the fact that a couple of other guys seem to be doing. Chalk it up to bar peer pressure I guess.
THE REALITY: I’ve seen my fair share of fights break out at clubs/bars. Not once have I ever seen it get beyond a couple of people before the bouncers end up kicking their drunk asses than throwing them the hell out
3 – No spunk after the hump
THE CLICHE: Ok, I don’t mean to sound vulgar or anything (I usually leave that to Doug) but we’ve all seen this a hundred times in movies and we all collectively say under our breath “yeah right”. A couple at some sort of public function or fancy dinner quickly ducks behind a wall, or into another room for a quicky. They go at it practically fully clothed and when they’re “done” they just take a couple of deep breaths, run their fingers through their hair and then return to join the other guests as if nothing happened.
THE REALITY: Sex makes a mess… I’ll just leave it at that.
4 – Terrorists are always considerate enough to have large built in digital count down clocks in their explosives so the hero can know exactly how much time he/she has left
NO FUTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED
5 – Shot in the shoulder? No problem!
THE CLICHE: Usually in action flicks, the hero will take a bullet. But fortunately it didn’t hit his face, or his heart. Usually it’s the shoulder or leg or something like that. When this happens, the hero grimaces for a few moments, then the goes on fighting.
THE REALITY: Guess what. When you’re shot in the leg, you don’t walk anymore. You don’t walk with a limp, or just slowed down… you don’t walk PERIOD. Got shot in the shoulder? Yeah, you can’t throw punches anymore. Every time you even think about breathing you scream like a little girl.
6 – Everyone everywhere knows Morse Code
7 – I know you’re about to say something important, but let me interrupt you with unrelated information that will unwittingly douse what you were about to say
THE CLICHE: Son is out to dinner with his parents and has built up the courage to tell them that he’s gay. He says “Mom, Dad… I want you to know I love you, and that’s why I’ve decided to tell you this very important thing about myself and my life…” The dad suddenly cuts in “Before you go on Nick, have I told you how much I hate fags recently?” Son then changes topics and pretends like the news he was about to give was about a car or something else. This is also done with girl trying to tell boyfriend she’s pregnant. Boy trying to tell girl pal he loves her. The combinations are endless.
THE REALITY: The human race are a bunch of inconsiderate animals… but generally I’ve always found when I say “I’ve got something important to say” and then start telling them what it is… no one has ever suddenly cut me off to mention something totally unrelated.
8 – Delayed information equals certain death
THE CLICHE: Two people are talking in a perfectly good spot when person “A” says to person “B”: “I’ve got to tell you something that will alter the destiny of the human race”. Person “B” is obviously intrigued and asks what this information is. Then, for NO GOOD REASON person “A” says something like: “Not here… meet me later at this other place”. Sure enough, you know that person “A” will be killed before he can ever tell his secret.
THE REALITY: Someone says they know something important… then I’m getting them to tell me right then and there.
You may ask “John, why just 8 instead of 10″? Cause I’m breaking the cliche baby. :P
What are some of the ones that you’re sick and tired of seeing?
This one is going to stir a lot of discussion. The good folks over at Rotten Tomatoes have put up their list of the 94 Worst to Best rated comic adapted movies of all time. Some of the stuff on this list won’t surprise you at all… some will floor you. Here’s the list from worst rated to best:
94) Son of the Mask
93) Elektra
92) Catwoman
91) Garfield The Movie
90) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (My company worked on this. Even I know it sucked)
89) Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties
88) Batman & Robin – 21.9 (Yes, the Arnold one)
87) Pathfinder – 23.1 (Who thought Vikings vs. Indians could be so boring?)
86) Virus – 23.2
85) Monkeybone – 24.0
84) Judge Dredd – 25.3
83) Alien vs. Predator – 25.8
82) Bulletproof Monk
81) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
80) The Crow: City of Angels
79) Fantastic Four
78) Steel (Sahq Attack!)
77) Supergirl
76) Blade: Trinity
75) Appleseed
74) Tales from the Crypt – Bordello of Blood
73) The Punisher (I admit it, I kinda liked this one)
72) Ghost Rider
71) Superman III
70) Howard the Duck
69) Spawn
68) The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green
67) TMNT (it was better than I thought it would be)
66) Art School Confidential
65) Richie Rich
64) Dennis the Menace
63) Barb Wire
62) The Shadow (WTF?? I LOVED Shadow!)
61) Men in Black II
60) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 – The Secret of the Ooze
59) Tank Girl
58) The Phantom (Billy Zane forver)
57) Casper
56) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – The Movie
55) Daredevil
54) Batman Forever
53) Constantine
52) Azumi
51) Timecop
50) Blade (Doug is so mad it’s this low)
Ya I know I know I know I know… torture is bad. I’m not debating that nor am I encouraging the use thereof. But come on… ya gotta admit that when a particualry well done torture scene is pulled off well on screen… it can really make you squirm in your seat, and THAT can be a part of the overall movie going experience (in the hands of the right director and done for the right reasons).
Te guys over at Filmwad put together a nice little top 10 list of their favorite torture scenes in movies. They also give detailed descriptions of the scenes, but I’ll just give the the movies here.
10. Cannibal Holocaust (Ruggero Deodato, 1980) – The Starfish Skewer
9. Saw 2 (Darren Lynn Bousman, 2005) – The Needle Pit Swan Dive
8. Casino Royale (Martin Campbell, 2006) – The Ball-Sac Beating
7. Braveheart (Mel Gibson, 1995) – The Hanging, Racked, Innard Twist
6. Oldboy (Chan-wook Park, 2003)
5. Hostel (Eli Roth, 2005) – The Ankle Slice
4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974) – Dinner With The Family
3. Casino (Martin Scorcese, 1995) – The Big Squeeze
2. Hostel (Eli Roth, 2005) – Japanese BBQ
1. Audition (Takashi Miike, 1999) – Old Pincushion Face
You can see the full list with scene descriptions here.
Not a bad list really. Personally, I would have included the scene from Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan when they put the bugs in Chekov’s ear… or maybe that Rambo movie when they pin him up against the metal bed springs and electrocute him. Or hey… what about Han on Cloud City? Good stuff… fun for the whole family.
Films are all subjective… there really is no denying that. But what’s even MORE subjective is humor. One joke may make a group of people roll on the floor in hysterics for hours… while other don’t even crack a grin at it. So imagine how much diversity of opinion on Comedy movies there are.
But still… we all have our personal favorites, I’m no different… and lists always make for great discussion starters. So, here is my personal list of the 10 best comedy movies:
1) Noises Off – I know this is an odd one to place in my #1 spot. A lot of people don’t even really like this movie… but I remember back in the early 90’s watching this movie every single day for almost a month and laughing myself stupid every single time. REMARKABLE cast with Michael Caine, Carol Burnett, John Ritter, Christopher Reeve, Nicollette Sheridan, Julie Hagerty, Marilu Henner and a couple of more. The film has terrific timing (key to any comedy), and makes you laugh with JOKES and GAGS instead of stunts. Brilliant movie… highly underappreciated… and I KNOW most of you haven’t seen it yet… so go rent it.
2) Borat – What can I say? I’ve never had a movie make me laugh to the point that I thought I was going to physically be sick.
3) Monty Python and the Holy Grail – Yes, all film and comedy are subjective for sure… but any top comedies list WITHOUT this movie on it is immediately called into suspicion. I heard all about this movie since I was 7… but didn’t finally see it until my Grade 9 year. I will never forget where I was and who i was with when I saw this for the first time. The word “Classic” was made for movies like this. “RUN AWAYYYYY! RUN AWAYYY!!”
4) A Fish Called Wanda - “Oh no! It’s K-K-K-Ken C-C-Coming to K-K-K-Kill me!” oh sweet lord this movie is hilarious. The best John Cleese work outside of Python… and yes I include Faulty Towers in that too.
5) Broadcast News - Holly Hunter, Albert Brooks and William Hurt made this the funniest sophisticated comedy I’ve ever seen. Huge laughs with an actual moral to the story kind of feel to it. I will never forget the scene with Brooks being on air and sweating like a pig. Classic scene. Was nominated for 7 Oscars… not bad for a comedy.
6) Tootsie – One of the best Dustin Hoffman roles EVER, and the very first movie I think I ever saw on the new family VCR! oh the technology! I still remember hearing people debating that Hoffman deserved to be nominated for BOTH Best Actor AND Best Actress that year.
7) Clerks 2 – This one won’t be popular with ANYONE. Non-Kevin Smith fans will hate that I put it here… Kevin Smith fans will hate that I put this one on instead of the original Clerks. But what can I say? This film connected with me in a way very few comedies ever have. It made me laugh, think and feel all in one movie. Everyone needs a spot on their lists for something that is just theirs… this one is mine.
8) Airplane! – Screw those pathetic “Scary Movie” movies and to hell with all those copy cat spawn movies that have come after them. Airplane is the preeminent “spoof” movie. Nothing ever has… and nothing ever will come close to it. “And don’t call me Shirley”.
9) This Is Spinal Tap – Do I really need to say anything? “It goes to 11″
10) Spaceballs – You know, I was having a hard time deciding if I should put this or Office Space in the final spot. But the fact of the matter is that to me, Spaceballs has some of the very funniest 1 liners in film history. To to this day, the funnies single line ever: “Now Lonestar you will see that evil will always tripumph… because good… is DUMB”.
HONORABLE MENTION GOES TO
Anchorman
Shaun of the Dead
Office Space
Groundhog Day
Zoolander
UPDATE – A COUPLE OF MORE I SHOULD HAVE ADDED
40 Year Old Virgin
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Bowfinger
So now it’s over to you folks. What do you think of my list? What are some of your favorites that I’ve left off? What would you kick off to make room for it? What does your 10 list looks like?
Hey there boys and girls. Well, with all the Kurt Russell talk going on around here over the last couple of days, it’s got me to thinking about some of my favorite Russell movies, so I thought “why not do a post about it”.
So here for your consideration is my personal list of the 10 best Kurt Russell performances (please note… I’m not saying the best Russell movies… but rather his personal best performances). So here they are:
1) Backdraft – God I love this movie… I know a bunch of people don’t, but I think it’s gold… and the main reason for that is the heart Russell brought to it.
2) Tombstone – There has NEVER been a better Wyatt Earp
3) Escape From New York – Probably the first movie that comes to mind when we think of Russell
4) Solider – Not the best movie by any stretchof the imagination… but a role he was BORN to play. Just looking all gruff and pretty much killing people with his pure stare. Gold.
5) Big Trouble in Little China – The guy almost became Bruce Campbell
6) Overboard – who knew he could do comedy so well?
7) The Thing – Oh hell ya
8) Dark Blue – I’m stunned over how many people haven’t seen this movie
9) Stargate – Before MacGiver took over the role
10) 3000 Miles To Graceland – You know, as bad as the movie itself ended up being, I always thought Russell was exceptional in it.
So there you have it folks. My list of the best performances Kurt Russell has blessed us with so far. What do you think? What things don’t belong on that list? What things are missing? Discuss.
We’ve all seen it before. Some big name, and usually talented actor who for some reason that totally baffles us, appears in a stupid stinker of a movie which leaves us wondering “why on earth would they agree to be in THAT movie???”. Happens all the time, too often actually.
Well, the folks over at Entertainment Weekly just put up their list of what they call “When stars see dollar signs — The 25 most shameless paycheck-grabbing roles in history”. It actually a pretty fun read. I don’t agree with everything on the list, but for the most part it’s right on the money (get it? HAHA… oh shut up). So here is their list with my own little commentary:
25. Sean Connery in Never Say Never Again – Oh ouch. One of his worst
24. Jason Alexander in Dunston Checks In – To be fair, everything he’s done post Sienfeld has been a sad money grab
23. Bill Murray in Garfield – I still don’t understand what on earth he was thinking
22. Marlon Brando in Superman - What?!?!?! I loved that he was in this
21. Matt Dillon in Herbie: Fully Loaded – I thought we all agreed to just pretend this movie doesn’t exist
20. Cuba Gooding Jr. in Chill Factor - SHOW ME THE MONEY. Man, after the Oscar I thought this guy was going to take off
19. Elizabeth Taylor in The Flintstones – HAHA… yeah
18. Ben Affleck in Paycheck – I’m in the minority here. I actually thought Paycheck was ok
17. Buster Keaton in Beach Blanket Bingo – Never saw it
16. Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich in Eragon – It pains me so much to agree
15. Christopher Walken in Kangaroo Jack - Yeah, what’s up with Walken? He’s a genius, but had been appearing in more and more shit that’s totally beneith him
14. Richard Pryor in Superman III – Don’t even get me started
13. Faye Dunaway in Supergirl – How about ANYONE in Supergirl
12. William Hurt in Lost in Space – To be honest, the guys career was sort of stagnant at that time… he needed the work
11. Laurence Olivier in Clash of the Titans – Blasphemy!!!! This movie still rocks!
10. Demi Moore in Striptease – Boobies, even nice ones, do not a good movie make
9. Michael Caine in Jaws: The Revenge - This one is a great trivia question
8. Judi Dench in The Chronicles of Riddick – What a garbage film
7. Orson Welles in Transformers: The Movie – Again i say BLASPHEMY!!!!
6. Peter O’Toole in Club Paradise – Even the best have bad days
5. Dennis Hopper in Super Mario Bros. - No comment
4. Tony Curtis in The Bad News Bears Go to Japan – Never saw it
3. Sir Ben Kingsley in BloodRayne – Best actor making the worst decisions in Movies today
2. Richard Burton in Exorcist II: The Heretic - yikes
1. Robert De Niro in The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle – Let’s be honest, in the last 10 years De Niro has made almost ALL rotten movies, but yeah, this was his worst performance in anything.
There are a couple I would like to add to that list personally:
Harrison Ford – Anything he’s done since Air Force One
Anthony Hopkins – Instinct
Guy Pierce – Time Machine
Al Pachino – Simone
Ewan McGregor – Eye of he Beholder
Robert Redford – The Last Castle
Morgan Freeman – Edison
Cate Blanchett – The Missing
Who would YOU add to that list?
