Early Reviews are In On Alien Versus Predator And It Aint Pretty …

avp.jpgIt’s early yet but some of the major critics are starting to weigh in on Alien Versus Predator and the ratings are coming in even lower than they did for Catwoman. Madness, I say, madness! Some quotes, mostly pilfered from Rotten Tomatoes:

“It’s a murky, empty-headed dive into the depths of the Antarctic and the heart of monster movie cliches that leaves you praying for most of the cast to get killed off fast, to put them (and us) out of our misery.”
— Michael Wilmington, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

“Going from the noisily routine to the ludicrous, AVP’s final reel or so are likely to produce howls.”
— Dennis Harvey, VARIETY

“How many awful, monotonous, stupid movies does Anderson have to make before they take away his scissors and crayons?”
— MaryAnn Johanson, FLICK FILOSOPHER

“like watching a very non-scary, screeching, interstellar cockfight”
— Annette Cardwell, FILMCRITIC.COM

“Anderson (Resident Evil, Event Horizon, Mortal Kombat) has a thing for gamelike killing sprees. What he doesn’t have is talent.”
— Roger Moore, ORLANDO SENTINEL

“Uninspired, dull and utterly forgettable.”
— Kevin N. Laforest, MONTREAL FILM JOURNAL

“‘Whoever Wins…We Lose!’ Thank you, Fox, for the truth in your advertising.”
— Collin Souter, EFILMCRITIC.COM

“In this contest it’s boredom and stupidity that are victorious…though loud and brutally paced and edited, far more silly than scary.”
— Frank Swietek, ONE GUY’S OPINION

“Who is the big winner in Alien Vs. Predator? Everyone who avoids going to see the film.”
— Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM

And most of the nastier critics haven’t even weighed in yet … scary …

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