Ok, now before you all start kicking me in the teeth, I know it’s stupid to talk about Oscar hopfuls for next year already. I just found this neat little article over at Canada.Com and thought it was kinda cool:
there are keys to early Oscar handicapping. Does it have Gwyneth Paltrow in it? Does it feature a woman pretending to be a man? Does it have Gwyneth Paltrow pretending to be a man?Beyond that, the best signposts are a film’s heavyweight-drama quotient and pedigree of talent. How many past Oscar winners are involved? Does a cover-girl performer efface her looks for a stark and sober story? Is it a “master” filmmaker tackling a “momentous” subject?
The article goes on to point to a couple of projects that may or may not fit this criteria:
Cinderella Man — Oscar winners Russell Crowe and Renee Zellweger star in the story of Depression-era boxer Jim Braddock, who gets a second chance in the ring. The academy loves underdog stories, Ron Howard (A Beautiful Mind) directs and Crowe punches people out.
Memoirs of a Geisha — Rob Marshall (Chicago) directs this adaptation of the novel about an orphan girl (Zhang Ziyi) who becomes a queen-bee madame kept in style by powerful men. Sex, sumptuous sets, exotic locales, a beautiful leading lady poised for a breakout role. Sex.
Kingdom of Heaven — Ridley Scott (Gladiator) directs the saga of a battling knight (Orlando Bloom) in Jerusalem during the Crusades. Scott revived the moribund Roman epic. If anyone can make a Crusades story palatable in this politically correct age, he’s the man.
War of the Worlds — Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise spin the spectacle of sci-fi spectacles, a new take on H.G. Wells’s invaders-from-Mars classic. Everyone secretly loves to see the world toasted, and it co-stars that adorable Dakota Fanning.
All the King’s Men — Sean Penn stars in this update of Robert Penn Warren’s novel loosely based on political kingfish Huey Long. Penn in the meatiest role since his Oscar win for Mystic River, backed by Anthony Hopkins, Kate Winslet, Patricia Clarkson, Jude Law and James Gandolfini. Can you say dream cast?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — Johnny Depp has scored Oscar nominations as a sashaying pirate and a repressed Edwardian playwright. Can he earn another as Willy Wonka? Tim Burton’s remake offers endless visual possibilities, and the story of candyman Willy playing tour guide to children is a beloved one for academy boomers.
The only film the article forgot to mention was REVENGE OF THE SITH! I predict it will win best picture and 26 Oscars in total, including best documentary, best animated film, best film about lesbian driving instructors.
