Someone told me the other day that “it takes a lot of guts” to put up a list of films that I enjoy that no one else does. Well that ain’t nothing. Today, I’m giving you a list that will REALLY make you look at me strange!
EVERYONE has a list of movies that most people love, that they hate, but are too embarrassed to say so out of fear of getting flamed. Well… my eyebrows have already been burned off… so I’ve got nothing to lose. I’ll do it… put my neck on the line… here we go.
John’s Top 10 films that he doesn’t like, that everyone else on the planet loves:
1) A History of Violence – Oh good heavens this movie sucks sucks sucks. But ohhhh… it’s directed by David Cronenberg… so you’re required to say it’s brilliant. Ya well it’s not. It’s totally inconsistent, far too 2 dimensional, VERY black and white whose only “moral” at the end is to day “Look, grey exists”. Blah. Man I hated this boring boring film.
2) Being John Malkovich – I really hated this film and thought it was a wasted opportunity.
3) Old School – Didn’t HATE this movie… but I wasn’t impressed with it. The whole movie felt like they put a leash on Will Ferrell and never really let him cut loose. Some gold moments… but not enough.
4) Fargo – Sooooo… booorrrrinnnggggg. Oh but there’s a wood chipper… so it must be good. Bleh.
5) American Beauty – You know, for all of the introspective nonsense in this film, no one seemed to bother to look up and realized they were being put to sleep. Simple simple simple ideas comunicated as if they were some sort of great societal revelations. The film spends so much time staring at its own navel that it never bother to get me attached or interested in any of their 2 dimensional characters.
6) Saving Private Ryan – The first 15 minutes of this film are total GOLD! Best war time scene in the history of film as far as I’m concerned. To bad it then degraded into nothing but pompous self moralizing and cheesy one liners that were meant to make you feel something… but you didn’t
7) Blade Runner – This is the one every film fan is REQUIRED to say you loved… or else you “just don’t get it”. Yeah well… I got it. And I didn’t like it.
8) Walk the Line – To say you didn’t like “Walk the Line” is a slap in Johnny Cash’s face! That’s how people want to make you feel. I really didn’t mind this film, but thought it was WAY overrated.
9) Traffic – If this film ever got down off it’s pulpit and just tried to tell a story, perhaps I wouldn’t have minded it. If I wanted 2 hours of being nothing but preached at I would have gone to a double feature church service. “Fighting Drugs is Stupid”
10) Pulp Fiction – Ya know… if this film just stopped TRYING so hard to be so damn “cool”, it might have been more palatable. The movie we can all blame for resurrecting the career of John Travolta. We will never forgive you Tarantino (although I like most of his other work). Everything felt so contrived that it took any magic away for me.
Well there you have it folks. My reputation suicidal list of movies everyone loves that I didn’t. Now don’t leave me hanging. We ALL have films we secretly don’t like that everyone else does. So come on! Fess up! What is YOUR list?
