In modern times news events define a generation. Who shot JFK, Who Shot JR, Desert Storm, The Destruction Of The Berlin Wall, Losing A Bet And Having Sex With A Squash, 9/11 and now this. Ladies and gentleman it is no surprise to me that Keith Richards has in fact snorted the ashes of his dead father – mixed with cocaine (duh!) The news is everywhere but we get the story from IMDB:
Rolling Stones star Keith Richards has stunned fans by revealing he once snorted his father’s ashes, mixed with cocaine. The 63-year-old guitarist, who has long been associated with all manner of substance abuse, has told Britain’s Nme his most bizarre drug-taking session came after his father Bert died in 2002. He says, “He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared. It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.” Richards accepts he should be one of rock’s casualties – but luck and an amazing constitution has kept him alive. He adds, “I’ve no pretensions about immortality. I’m the same as everyone… just kind of lucky. I was number one on the ‘Who’s likely to die’ list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list.”
He couldn’t resist friends, he could not resist. I have had a few impulses in my life, some of them unwise, some of them unnecessary; but snorting a burnt corpse is an impulse that only the most professional and seasoned hedonists consider tempting. Only one logical conclusion may be derived from this action – Keith Richards is kept alive by ingesting human remains using black magic. Only a man with a pact with the goat lord would be able to live a life of such abuse and still walk the earth.
It has long been suggested that selling your should to the devil is the best means for success, and when you are the servant of Satan – who is really surprised when you snoot a few corpses. Keith’s father is in hell right now beaming with pride as the horned one shakes his hand and says “you raised Keith well, you should be proud.” I thought Gorgoroth was hardcore but the Rolling Stones prove that to this day, no one has sympathy for the devil like they do. HAIL SATAN!
