Ok so here’s the background. About 6 weeks ago (I think) I decided I wanted to lose a little bit of weight for film festival season. I thought I had a chance to get my little movie into 1 or 2 festivals, so I wanted to drop a few pounds for those event (good god I sound like a woman). Anyway… I went on a bit of a diet… nothing special… just keeping an eye on what I eat and trying to keep my daily calorie intake lower than what I burn. Simple enough. It’s been going great and I’ve lost about 25 pounds. I’m pretty disciplined too. I never order really bad food… only treat myself once or twice a week… I’m very good with what I buy at the grocery store… UNTIL…..
I get to the damn movie theater. At that point FORGET IT. My will power… my discipline and my self control goes right out the window. For some reason, when I walk into a movie theater, I have a mental Pavlovian response. As soon as my mind realizes that I’m in a movie theater, my mouth instantly starts watering. It’s crazy!
The funny thing is, food at the movie theaters (besides being insanely expensive) isn’t really all that good, and it’s ALL horrible for you. I’m pretty sure even the water fountain pumps out gravy in the water. Everything is just a diet nightmare. From the popcorn (dripping with the sweet sweet liquid death of buttery goodness), to the ice cream… the nachos… the new york fries… the chocolate bars… the Coke (which is probably the worst thing on the menu for you)… the hot dogs… these people are out to get you. You’d think there was a corporation out there that makes money off of fat people and they pay dividends to movie theaters.
As I mentioned… the craziest part is that when you really think about it… the food isn’t even THAT good. But it doesn’t matter for a drone like me. I walk in there, and all I can think about is getting a big bag of that butter soaked popcorn and cramming as much of in in my huge pie hole as is humanly possible. I’m not kidding. I get on that stuff faster than teen virgin on the highschool slut on prom night. It’s sad really.
I think the biggest reason behind that mental automation is that I’ve just done it for decades. It’s the same routine… I walk into a theater and then instantly walk over to the concession stand. I don’t even have to think about it anymore… my body just goes on involuntary auto-pilot and heads to the greasy food.
And the pattern is always the same… i stuff myself on Coke and popcorn (sometimes adding in a hot dog or ice cream for good measure), then after the movie when I’m feeling sick to my stomach I have to deal with the regret of what I’ve done… kinda like after your ugly booty call leaves your place. It’s not pretty… but at least you didn’t have to pay $15 for the booty call unlike the junk fest you just inhaled.
Maybe theaters should start to offer some more options. Maybe like carrot sticks in a small serving box with low fat dressing for dipping. Or maybe some lettuce wrapped around a TOFU dog with a side of skim milk. Oh who the hell am I kidding… just pass the popcorn as i loosen my belt.
