It is a chorus sung since the day Super Mario Bros. hit the big screen. It’s a chant, a proverb and perhaps even now a cliche… but after 15 years it’s still the truth:
“ALL VIDEO GAME MOVIES SUCK”
What is equally predictable, is that no matter how many times that proverb is proved correct, every time a new video game adaptation is announced, the lovers of that particular game pronouce “THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT!”, but it never ever ever ever is. The old chorus of “All video game movies suck” continues to be true.
The simple law of percentages dictates that at some point, a good video game movie will be made to be an exception to the rule… but it hasn’t happened yet, and I’m willing to put money down that it won’t happen with Gears of War, which seems to be aiming at a summer 2010 release date. The good folks over at ComingSoon give us this:
(We) got a chance to talk to Twilight producer Wyck Godfrey about the status of the proposed Gears of War video game adaptation. “We’ve got our script on and a director we’re about to attach. We’ll hopefully make that early next year for the summer of 2010,” said Godfrey. It was announced in March of 2007 that New Line Cinema (now a unit of Warner Bros.) had acquired the feature film rights to Epic Games’ award-winning video game. Stuart Beattie was attached to adapt the project and Temple Hill Entertainment set to produce.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Gears of War isn’t a great game… only that it’s created to be just that… a game. It was created and crafted with game play in mind, not narrative story telling. This flick will in all likelihood end up just the same as all game movies. Scores of fans will insist it will be great, only to have their optimism burned in the fires of the eternal chorus: “All video game movies suck”.
