As some of you may remember, a little while back we launched a bit of a discussion around here regarding product placement in movies and films getting into bed with their marketing with corporations and products (you can see that article here).
One of the most blatant product placements we’ve seen in a big film this year so far has been that Burger King plug in Iron Man. Anyway, Time Magazine dug deep into older versions of the script only to find some scenes they never filmed that would have made the situation much worse (clearly the following is just a joke… but I thought it was pretty funny)
INT. TONY STARK’S LIMO – DAY
TONY STARK: Pull over… right here.
DRIVER: Where?
TONY STARK: At Burger King.
DRIVER: Are you serious?
TONY STARK: Didn’t you hear me say the first thing I wanted after being tortured in the desert by terrorists for three months was a real American cheeseburger?
DRIVER: Yeah, sure… but Burger King?
TONY STARK: Yes.
DRIVER: Let me get this straight. You kept your heart beating with a car battery while risking your life to build a suit of armor with a built-in flame-thrower… so you could eat at Burger King.
TONY STARK: Yes. In fact, I got the idea for the flame-thrower while thinking about Burger King’s great flame-broiled taste.
DRIVER: But there’s an In-N-Out Burger just a few blocks away.
TONY STARK: I want Burger King.
DRIVER: Now that you’re back, is the first car you’re gonna drive a Chevy Malibu?
TONY STARK: What?
DRIVER: Well, that’s like the Burger King of cars.
TONY STARK: Just order the cheeseburger.
DRIVER: Is the first girl you’re going to sleep with Carnie Wilson?
TONY STARK: Order it!
BURGER KING EMPLOYEE: (OVER SPEAKER) Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?
DRIVER: My boss, the smartest, richest, coolest man in the world, who can eat literally anything he wants, has chosen, as his first meal after being a held hostage by madmen in a cave in Afghanistan, a Burger King cheeseburger.
BURGER KING EMPLOYEE: (OVER SPEAKER) Is the first girl he’s going to sleep with Carnie Wilson?
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EXT. SKY OVER LOS ANGELES – NIGHT
Iron Man performs amazing aerial stunts.
IRON MAN: Jarvis, I’m starving. I’m stopping at that Burger King down there for a cheeseburger.
JARVIS: No need sir. Knowing your predilection for great American cheeseburgers, I’ve taken the liberty of opening a microscopic Burger King franchise inside your armor. As we speak, millions of nano-cheeseburgers are being injected into your bloodstream.
IRON MAN: Amazing. Can I get a chocolate shake?
JARVIS: Deploying milkshake enema now.
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EXT. STARK ENTERPRISES – ROOF – NIGHT
Iron Man faces off against Iron Monger.
IRON MONGER: Isn’t it ironic, that a man who loves Burger King cheeseburgers… is being killed by a man who loves cheeseburgers that aren’t terrible?
IRON MAN: Damn you Obadiah Stane!
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AFTER CREDITS SEQUENCE
Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) approaches Tony Stark.
NICK FURY: I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.
TONY STARK: The Avengers Initiative? What’s that?
NICK FURY: Burger King.
