Sadly it happens all the time. We hear about a movie that sounds great and we can’t wait to see it. We watch the trailers and it looks better and better. For whatever reason the film looks good to us. Maybe it’s because of the cast. Maybe it’s because of the story. Maybe it’s because if the director. Maybe it’s because the visuals look good… or maybe because it just does. Then we go see it… and it just sucks.
What’s worse, is that sometimes we see a terrible film and our disappointment is amplified by the knowledge that it COULD have been a great film. There were elements in it that were strong… and if the film just built itself around those strong elements, perhaps it could have turned out 100x better than it did.
Then we think that if they did a sequel… not a reboot… and focused on those strong elements, we might end up getting the kind of movie we were hoping for when we first went in to watch the first one.
I remember the first time I really thought about that was after seeing the first Underworld movie. I was not “thrilled” with the movie at all… but there were a few things there that made me want to see another Underworld film. Untapped potential that I thought a sequel could explore. Underworld had a great mythology behind it. A fantastic back story about the Lycans and the Vampires. It had a beautiful and dark style to it… and my goodness who didn’t like seeing Kate Beckinsale in that tight black leather outfit?!?! No, I didn’t really love the first Underworld movie… yet I still wanted to see a sequel. Too bad the sequel turned out to be 5x worse than the original.
As I thought about this the other day, I started compiling a list in my head about other bad films that had certain potential left unrealized. Waste of time movies that had seeds of greatness in them that PERHAPS if given another shot in the form of a sequel… could produce something special.
So now for your consideration I present to you my list of 15 terrible movies that deserve a shot at a sequel:
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#1 – JUMPER Ok I admit that the fact that I was an extra in this movie added to my anticipation, but this film had a lot going for it as a starting point. A Sci-Fi movie about people born with the power to teleport anywhere in the world at any time known as “jumpers” who have been hunted down through the centuries by a group of normal mortals who call themselves “Paladins”. How freaking cool does that sound?!?! Add on top of that Samuel Jackson as the main bad buy, the website giving some cool background to the history of the Paladins and why they hunt Jumpers and some wonderful visual effects… you’ve got the making of a great movie right? RIGHT?!?!?! Wrong. This crap wasted all it’s time on a stupid and weak love story and gave absolutely ZERO time exploring the history and mythology of the Jumpers or the Paladins. All the things that COULD have made this movie cool were left out completely. I’d love to see a sequel to this with the focus on the right stuff. |
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#2 – SWORDFISH Just look at this damn cast! John Travolta (before he because a joke again), Huge Jackman, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Sam Shepard and Vinnie Jones. A high tech heist style of movie with the promise of “Speed” type action hot on the heals of Jackman becoming an international star due to being Wolverine… this flick should have knocked it out of the park. Sadly though, the movie spends most of it’s time struggling through it’s piss poor dialog and meaningless side plots and only giving us tastes of the type of intensity and action a movie like this one COULD have provided to us. The thing that gives me hope for a sequel is that the premise and characters (the ones left alive anyway) still hold that potential to build on the strong points in the first film. I’d be in line to see a Swordfish 2. It may suck again… but I’d be there. |
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#3 – K-PAX Seeing two certifiably GREAT actors in the same movie is always a good reason to be excited about seeing it. Throw in something of a sci-fi mystery with it and you COULD be in for something special. K-Pax was such a movie that offered all of that. Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey in a movie about a mysterious man who ends up in a Psych ward who claims to be from a far away galaxy. The doctors obviously don’t believe him, but they don’t really know who he is, or how he knows so much about astrophysics. Sadly, the movie just sort of trudges along at a snails pace without ever really developing the story or giving very revealing revelations. It feels like it’s the same 20 minutes repeated several times. The film ends (warning: this is a spoiler for those of you who haven’t seen it) with Spacey just disappearing and the mystery of if he was indeed an alien or just an unbalanced human being still lingering. I loved the ending… and I’d love to see a sequel picking up that story and going from there. Could be amazing… or awful. I’d like to see how it would play out. |
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#4 – REIGN OF FIRE Do any of you need more that this short description to get you pumped up: “In the modern world, an ancient sleeping breed of Dragon is awakened and it then proceeds to wipe out most of the civilized world leaving the few survivors to battle the monsters in the new post apocalyptic world for their very existence” FUCK YEAH!!!! The cast was just about as solid as you could get it too. Matthew McConaughey plays a cool as hell military character who is beyond bad ass, and Christian Bale is the leader of a small colony of human survivors who gets caught up in the McConaughey’s war with the Dragons. Sweet! Or at least it should have been. The movie ends with (spoiler) the humans killing off the only Male dragon, ensuring that eventually the species will become extinct since they can’t breed anymore. But there are still LOTS of Dragons out there… and even though there are no males left… like they said in Jurassic Park… Nature finds a way! Make this movie and focus more on the bad ass action that SHOULD have been in the first one and you’ll have a classic killer flick. Maybe. |
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#5 – SHOWTIME Showtime is a little bit different of a film on this list. You see… unlike a lot of the other films here, this one NEVER looked good. Nothing about it looked appealing at all. Robert De Niro and Eddie Murphy in a copy comedy??? No thanks. Sure enough the movie ends up being a total waste of time. But there was one unexpected positive point in it. The on screen comedic chemistry between Robert De Niro and Eddie Murphy was surprisingly good. More than good… it was charming and had a charisma all its own. The interactions between the two main characters were by far the most entertaining points of the movie… and had it just focused more on that, the film may have ended up a lot better than it did. Make another Showtime, focus more time on these two characters interacting, and I think you’ll have a fine entertaining movie. Maybe. |
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#6 – THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN I can’t even being to tell you how pumped I was for this movie. Hands down the most interesting mix of “hero” characters ever brought together for a comic style flick. Allan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, Dorian Gray, The Invisible Man, Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, Tom Sawyer… and the bad guy ends up being (spoiler) none other than Professor Moriarty, the arch nemesis of the great Sherlock Holmes. All lead by Sean Conery as Quatermain… how wicked does that sound? I’ll tell you how much… and big old ass lot! Unfortunately they did just about everything wrong with this movie. I thought the casting was good… the idea for a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was excellent… but the wrote a terrible story that wasted all that great potential. I highly doubt we’ll ever see Dean Conery as the action adventure lead again… but man I’d love to see them take another crack at this one with the existing cast. |
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#7 – TROY I can’t even put into words how disappointed I was with this potentially epic film. The cast was absolutely second to none (aside from the mannequin known as Orlando Bloom). It held the promise of a big sweeping sort of “Ben Hur” epic with massive battles, honor, glory and some killer performances. Yeah well that never happened now did it? Ok, I acknowledge there are several HUGE obstacles to making a sequel to this one. Not the least of which is the death of just about all the major characters except for that lamp post Bloom. Still… a sequel in that world that breaks into more fiction with a triumphant return to Troy would be pretty killer… with or without Pitt. Ok probably not… but I still think there is potential there. |
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#8 – VAN HELSING A movie with Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale (again dressed in tight black leather) portraying a legendary hunter of evil who much combat Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and the werewolf all at the same time? How on earth could something this awesome be messed up? Well, they found a way to mess it up and turn it into one of the worst films of 2004. But come on… Jackman as Van Helsing fighting mythological monsters and demons with a hot as hell Beckinsale at his side could STILL be one hell of a ride. Do another one… only this time get anyone other than Stephen Somers to direct it, get a half decent story that doesn’t try to think too hard and just give us tons of popcorn fun. The movies don’t always have to be rocket science. I’d certainly give Van Helsing another shot. |
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#9 – SKY CAPTIAN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW Aside from the fact that there were some big impressive names in this movie (Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, etc…), this was a very interesting project. Most of the entire film was shot on Green Screen and done with a very cool visual style that gave it a very great feel… and who doesn’t want to see a movie about giant robots mysteriously attacking major cities… and the one guy who can fight them is a dude in a 1950’s fighter plane! Totally bubble gum… but pretty cool sounding if you ask me. Well the film failed miserably… but all those things I mentioned above still carry a lot of potential in my opinion. Maybe this time spend pay some more attention to the Jolie character and that amazing battle ship of hers. Some more fights and maybe this time fight aliens! Well… whatever they do, if they did it again I’d give it a shot. |
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#10 – SKY HIGH Yes I know that we’ve been getting bludgeoned over the head with Superhero and Harry Potter type movies for a few years now… but Sky High looked like it had a lot more potential than many of them. First of all, you’ve got Kurt Russell as a legendary superhero known as “The Commander”. Is any other reason really needed past that? Bruce Campbell as a superpowered gym teacher. Lynda Carter as the principle of a secret high school for young superheroes… and honestly a pretty good little bunch of kid characters (I especially liked the Warren Peace character played by Steven Strait). The film ended up being terrible… but I think there was enough potential in there to revisit it and take another crack at it. |
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#11 – NACHO LIBRE Sometimes even just the concept of a movie is hilarious… and it doesn’t get much better than the idea of Jack Black as a masked super wrestler in Mexico known as Nacho Libre. How on earth could this thing miss right? Well… it did miss… by a lot. Just flat out no laughs as you quickly got the impression that they never thought they needed to actually write anything funny after coming up with that amazing concept. But even though the film failed on just about every single level, the concept is still sound and holds the potential for hilarity IMO. Get Black back in the tights again and take another shot at it… just… you know… make it funny this time. |
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#12 – ERAGON Eragon is one of those films that did nothing right. No really… aside from a few decent visuals, I can’t think of one single redeemable thing about this train wreck of a movie. So why bother putting it on this list? Because even though it was terrible beyond description, the mythology and story behind the film is still solid. Come on… Dragons fighting armies… wizards… a big bad John Malkovich riding his own evil dragon going off to destroy his enemies? I mean… the movie did end with a huge open window to a sequel. Do it… only do it remotely right this time and I think you still have the potential for a winner. |
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#13 – SNAKES ON A PLANE No single movie in history has been driven by online buzz and marketing like Snakes On A Plane. It pretty much targeted nothing but the online world for it’s marketing and made next to no money (but to be fair… it would have done much worse if there wasn’t so much online buzz about the movie). Throw Samuel L Jackson on a plane with a thousand snakes and you’ve got the makings of cinematic history I tell you. Too bad they just served up cinematic crap for the most part. Over the top can be fun and hilarious… when done right. Snakes did most of it wrong and the movie was quickly forgotten. I say do another one… this time even more ludicrous. Scorpions on a Boat. Wolves on a Train. Piranahs on a Cruise Ship. Something… anything. Get Sam back in there… only like John McClane, he’s been through something like this before. Get some solid comedy writers in there with some Die Hard style action and I think you can have a winner. |
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#14 – DEATH PROOF If I had a list of the top 10 movies that left me the most disapointed walking out of a theater… this Grindhouse flick would be on it without a doubt. I fully expected to love Death Proof and it ended up being a complete waste of time. Instead of giving us glorious Kurt Russell going around killing people with his car… we spend 80% of the movie listening to 2 seperate groups of 4 girls sitting around talking about nothing. Wheee… what fun. Do this film again. I know that (Spoiler) the ending of Death Proof SUGGESTS that the girls kill Russell… but we don’t actually see that happen. Do another one where Stuntman Mike survives his ordeal and then goes off stalking the women who nearly killed him… only this time he targets a bunch of other women first to get his game back. Fuck this movie could be awesome. |
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#15 – LADY IN THE WATER I, along with most of the world, had already started losing my faith in the mighty ShamHammer… but Lady in the Water looked just fantastic. It even made my “Top 5 most anticipated films of the year” list I did a while back. Wow… what a shit soufflé that turned out to be. Easily the worst film of the year. But here’s the thing. The basic idea behind the movie was great. The world that exists along side our world that Shammy tried to paint for us actually holds a lot of potential for great storytelling… you know… if a good story was there. You couldn’t really ask for a better cast. So yeah… as bad as it was, I’d actually give a Lady In The Water 2 a chance. As long as it wasn’t directed by ShammHammer that is. |
So there you have it folks. 15 terrible films that deserve a sequel. I’m sure there are much more that I’m not thinking of. What films did you hate but thought had enough potential to warrant another one?
