I still remember the first time I heard the rumor that there was going to be a Karate Kid remake. The rumor said that Will Smith’s seed, Jaden Smith, was going to be the new lead in the story. I INSTANTLY dismissed that rumor as total bull because no one would be stupid enough to actually do that right? Right? RIGHT!?!?!?!
Will Smith is the producer of the movie. Anyone want to take a wild guess how Jaden got the lead role?
Well, as I am often reminded in this business, yes, yes there are people stupid enough to do something like that, and we soon learned that Jaden Smith was indeed going to be the lead in the new Karate Kid movie. A 10 year old. A poor acting 10 year old (after seeing The Day The Earth Stood Still I decided that I HATE this child. Well… hating a child is harsh… let’s say I professionally hate this child actor).
Then came word that Jackie Chan was going to play the Mr. Myiagi character. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Jackie, but this is NOT a role he should have.
Now more details about the film are coming out and they all make me want to cringe, drop to my knees, shake my fists at the heavens and scream “WWWHHHYYYYY!?!?!?!”.
The good folks over at MovieWeb give us these new details about the Karate Kid remake:
Sherry is offered a transfer to China. Considering the U.S office is about to lay off everyone, it’s really her only choice; especially since nobody else at the office has been offered a transfer. With her young son Dre (Jaden Smith) in tow, the single-mother makes Beijing her new home. Needless to say, not knowing Chinese, and experiencing a bit of culture shock, they both find it a little hard to settle in – – Dre especially.
Like Daniel Larusso in the original film, Dre (who, unlike Larusso, is a skateboarding video-game buff) immediately catches the attention of the local bullies – in particular, Lui Wei Cheng. And before too long, Dre is going home with bruises (he tries to hide a black-eye under a cap by pulling it as far down his face as he can) and whining about wanting to return to the states.
Dre’s enrolled into a strict Beijing Middle School. His first day there is a bit of a shambles – the assistant principal spots his bruises, and assumes he’s been fighting (which, of course, they don’t accept under any circumstances), and he turns up in a school uniform, something he didn’t have to wear that day (there’s only certain days when a uniform is required).
The Mr Myiagi character is actually named Mr. Han (Jackie Chan). He’s the maintenance man of the apartment lock that Sherry and Dre have moved into, and meets the new residents when he’s called over to fix their hot water service. From the bathroom, Han spots Dre practicing martial-arts kicks (unsuccessfully) in front of a video-game, and catches his black eye. Later, of course, he’ll agree to teach him – both martial-arts and the Chinese language (so he can impress his mother by haggling over apples).
The ‘John Kreese’ character – the character played by Martin Kove in the original film – is Li Quan Ha, the owner of the Fighting dragon school of Kung-Fu. One visit to the school – in which Li Quan terrorizes his students (who range from the age of 3 onwards), namely Lui Wei Cheng – and Dre is immediately put off.
Oh, and yes, there’s a love interest – someone mother wants Dre to bring home for dinner.
A FRICKING LOVE INTEREST?!?!?! For a 10 year old?!?!?!
Daniel is now called “Dre”???
It’s in China?
Did I mention Jaden Smith is the lead?
I’m searching through some mathamatics websites now to find out if there is a numerical value less than zero to describe my hope and anticipation for this film. I’ll pass thanks.
