Ok, Kevin Smith is the wordsmaster, and while his Tweets are often insightful and interesting, they can also be crude. Ok, its mostly crude. Oh, and he will not be confined by the restraints of the 140 character limit…
But today he dropped this series of gems in his Twitter and I couldn’t help but share. He had just received a phone call from Arnold Schwarzenegger, wishing him luck with this weekend’s release of Cop Out
I wanna go back in time & tell the 12-yr-old-me watching CONAN that one day, Conan’s gonna wish you good luck on your Bruce Willis movie.
Past-me would look at future me & be like “How the fuck did we get so fat?” Future-Me’d say “Don’t worry: we’re still not too fat to fuck.”
Then, past-me would be like “Fuck ME? Ew – you’re gonna rape me! Future-Me wants to bust my hiney’s hymen! Then, BOOM! Door bursts open.
Arnold, extending his hand to Past-Me, saying “Come with me if you want to live.” Future-me escapes with rocket pack. Skynet goes online.
Past-Me & Arnold have to get to Jersey, to stop 2 angels from ending existence (TRUE ‘Judgment Day’). Arnold pulls Freeze gun, says “Chill.”
Okay, none of that happened; ‘cept the actual Arnold call. And the rocket pack.
Holy shit I would go see that pile of nonsense just to see if it is possible for me to laugh myself fertile.
Kevn Smith should write a sequel to Last Action Hero, where the movie stars all actually come out of their films, but him being the popculture expert Kevin Smith is he would know what to do with each of them… run! It would be comedy genius.
