I was at the movies recently (of course) with a friend, and he was confused on how meticulous I am regarding where we go and where we sit. I had to explain that for the average Joe, going to the movies, this is a pastime they do three or four times a year. But, an individual with film etiquette as opposed with seeing one or two movies is an expert defined by adroitness and a great threshold of higher respect for the movie industry as a craft. For movie-goers, especially in New York City, not saying that we are all disrespectful jerks, but we all are disrespectful jerks. There’s a certain etiquette that I would like everyone to uphold as it relates to the conduct or the respect a casual movie-goer or film lover should have. So, behold the Movie Etiquette of Mo Baptiste.
4) Children: Listen and listen well, unless it’s a children’s film (key word children), do not bring your child into a theater. It’s absolutely rude and inconsiderate! I should not be watching Deadpool and your baby is crying his/her head off or asking stupid questions (really loudly). As a matter of fact, I take everything I just said back. Don’t bring a child, if you can’t shut them up. Give them candy, your phone, or a punch to the stomach. Yes, do anything you have to do to keep them quiet. Like a great man once said, “the ends justify the means”.
3) Talking: A movie can be controversial or can resonate with a viewer depending on its message, but a viewer’s response such as talking during a film is on a case by case basis. Something funny or shocking could have happened and you may have to belt out a comment or a chuckle. However, don’t be a grade-A jackass and have a full-on conversation. Movie etiquette dictates that a viewer should wait until a movie is finished or take that shit outside, if he/she is burning with the inability to be quiet. Heads up, if you are around me while watching a movie and your banter goes on for too long, I’m kicking your chair. Is it right? No, but it does make me feel better. This leads me to my next tip.
2) DON’T Sit Next to Me: I don’t watch most movies on its opening day for this reason alone. If the theater is packed, there’s nothing I can do, but suck it up. However, if there’s space, do not sit next to me. I’ll be the worst movie neighbor EVER. I’m chewing loudly. I’m hitting your elbow because both armrests ARE mine (unless you are pretty girl, then we can share, (sorry baby)) I’m kicking your feet and yes, I am a farting machine. I’m doing any and everything to get you to move. Is it childish? Yes, but like a great man once said, “The ends justify the means”.
1) Kicking My Chair: If you kick my chair, we are straight up scrapping. You will get two kicks … any more than that and you are asking for a full-blown altercation. I go to the theaters to escape life and its cumbersome problems, however, when you kick my chair, you are literary kicking me back to reality. This wastes my money and reduces my enjoyment. So many movies have been ruined for me because of this etiquette or common courtesy being ignored. You can ask anybody who goes to the movies with me, I strategically pick my seat simply to avoid this particular problem.
There is a plethora of things that people can do at the movies that can underneath your skin. Share a list of your pet peeves. I would love to read your list.
