I recently had the pleasure of viewing a 7-minute short that is to screen at SXSW in March entitled “Retirement Plan.” It was written by John Kelly and Tara Lawall and was an absolute delight. If you have the opportunity, don’t miss it. It is narrated by Domhnall Gleeson (Bill Weasley in the “Harry Potter” franchise) and shows a man of retirement age musing about all the great things he is going to do in retirement. Meanwhile, in the background, John Carroll Kirby’s simple piano tunes tinkle, with the song “Walking Through A House Where A Family Has Lived” giving you another idea about the tone of the short piece.
Laugh-Out-Loud Moments
My favorite exchanges were the narrator saying, “I will paraglide.”
In the next frame, the little man is shown with a walker and says, “I will NOT paraglide.”
“Retirement Plan,” the short, from Writers John Kelly and Tara Lawall. (Fis Eireann/Screen Ireland.)
The animated figure that Marah Curran and Eamonn O’Neill present to us in this short film muses on many things he will do in retirement: He will read 35 years of books that he has been putting off reading. He will clean his desktop. He will birdwatch. He will swim every morning. He will hike. He will camp.
That last remark is followed by the equally humorous “Camping is HORRIBLE!” I agree. Woody Allen said it best: “My idea of roughing it is black-and-white TV.”
What other activities does our retired figure discuss undertaking in his free time?
“I will take better care of myself.”
“I will completely nail my final words.”
In addition to the “camping is horrible” and “I will not paraglide” lines, I laughed the hardest at the vow to “haunt the absolute shit” out of an enemy. I hope this option is open to me in the after-life.
“Retirement Plan,” 7 minute SXSW short from Ireland.
A Must-See Short Film
I honestly have not laughed so hard at a 7-minute bit in a long time and would like to thank Fis Eireann/Screen Ireland for this truly delightful (and accurate) presentation on the reality of retirement. As someone who loved her job and didn’t really want to retire in 2003, (but did), I salute you. Retirement sucks. It means you have to actively seek out things to do and “travel more” and “birdwatching” and “going to plays” (“I will find out if I like plays”) isn’t cutting it.
If I were to be asked what I would recommend people do in retirement, I would recommend that they watch this 7-minute film, because it has summed up my own reaction(s) to retirement perfectly, including the line “I will find out what a pension is.” [I have. It’s not great.]
Don’t give up your day job, but do try to see this wonderfully honest and creative short 7-mnute film. If you’re retired, that still means that for that day of your retirement, instead of having 1,440 minutes to fill with useless activities (many of which you won’t enjoy), you will only have 1,433 minutes to fill.
