Apparently they have been trying to do this for a while now and I really don’t know why they would try. But today Mary Parent, chairman of Worldwide Motion Picture Group announced that they are moving forward with a modern retelling of the Three Stooges with Bobby and Peter Farrelly’s screenplay which the Farrelly brothers will also direct.
“The Three Stooges are a timeless staple of comedy and when we heard what the Farrellys had in mind we knew it was time for Larry, Moe and Curly to return to the big screen,” Parent commented.
There have been numerous manifestations of The Three Stooges but their relationship with MGM dates back to 1933 when the trio appeared in a series of shorts and features for the Lion. The Farrelly Brothers have been working on a modernization of the Stooges, ‘slapstick with heart’ concept since the mid-90s. But it was their decision to focus on an origin story for Larry, Moe and Curly and thus introduce the three to a new generation that pushed the picture onto the fast track.
I think this fails under TMB’s 4 Rules of a Remake.
1) The original has to have a good story
Story? There is no story to the Three Stooges. They get thrown into ordinary or silly situations and then smack each other around. There is a little more to it than that, but in the big picture, there is no actual story to be told here. This is not a biopic, it is Stooges return to the big screen. No story.
2) Majority of current audience hasn’t seen the original
Yes, this show was in black and white in syndication when I was a kid. The majority of the moving going audience hasn’t seen this.
3) Original has to be at least 20 years old
See above.
4) The story would benefit from a modern telling
Benefit? No. This does not need to be retold or made modern. The slapstick genre that this comedy embodies is fine in its original form. We don’t need this to be “updated” as it does date itself but the core of it, the slapstick, is not affected by any of it.
I imagine this is going to be horrible. I see no need to “revive” the slapstick genre, as I don’t think it has a place in modern cinema at all, and I honestly dont think there is a market for a pure slapstick movie that isnt called “Jackasss” and thats already scraping the bottom of the intellectual barrel.