Unrated DVD Version Hell

serena-w1.jpgThere are many things that bug me about DVD releases. Most of those things have to do with the many versions studios release to suck out hard earned money from die hard fans. They release the definitive editions, the special collector’s editions, and the must have ULTIMATE editions. (Lord knows we all have 2-3 copies of one of our favorite movies in our collections.)

But you know what really grinds my gears? (shameless Family Guy reference) Unrated versions to movies. We’re meant to believe that when we rent or buy an all new unrated version, we are in for a movie experience far more raunchy, shocking, or horrifying than anything that was originally shown in theatres.This usually builds up excitement and anticipation for many fanboys and fangirls. However in most cases, audiences usually can’t even spot the differences between the theatrical cut and the unrated cut. Do you have any idea how that feels? How can I explain this feeling? Hmmm…

For you male readers out there, it’s like getting a call from your frigid girlfriend who promises to do all these new and dirty things to you if you go over to her place, and you end up going only to get duped into cuddling with her…again. Ladies, it’s like having a man who promises to rock your world and to bring you to orgasmic bliss, when really he only ends up rocking your head against the headboard, and the closest thing to an orgasm he makes you experience is a sneeze due to his overbearing scent of his “AXE cologne” body spray.

It’s disappointing and frustrating, and teasing us movie geeks of promises of supposedly far more interesting versions to movies is annoying and damn right cruel.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are quite a few unrated versions to DVDs that are worth a watch. 40 year old Virgin came out with an unrated version that had stated on the cover that it was 17 minutes longer than the theatrical cut, and it was a far more superior version to the film in my opinion.

From now on, I would like to see studios use the same tactic Universal did for 40 year old Virgin, and put how much longer the unrated version is on the covers of DVDs, so we could decide whether or not it’s really worth ponying up the dough for.

Also, if the unrated version is only unrated due to a scene of someone’s intestines getting pulled out a whole 4 seconds longer than the theatrical cut, or a scene involving a kid f*ck a pie in a different position that wasn’t shown in theatres, take off the words MORE SHOCKING and MORE GRUESOME from the cover of the DVD!

But then again, that’s just my views on the subject. What are your guys’ thoughts on this?

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