Hey there guys. Ok, so yesterday I put up my personal favorite top 10 movies list. Today, I go in the opposite direction and list my most hated films I’ve ever seen. Remember, this is a personal list… so do with that as you will. Here they are:
1) Battlefield Earth – The single most putrid piece of cinematic crap I have ever had the displeasure of sitting through. It was one of those “When Kenedy Got Shot” moments in that it was so bad, that I still remember exactly where I was, what seat I was in , and who exactly was with me when I had the misfourtune of seeing this “movie”. In my opinion, the worst film of all time by a mile.
2) Highlander 2 – For some cocaine induced reasoning, the makers of this film decided to take everything we know about Connor and the immortals and throw it out the window. Now the immortals are actually aliens from a distant planet and are banished to earth and become immortal as some sort of punishment. Huh? On top of that, Connor and Ramirez are old friends from the old planet. Huh? Just by yelling out “Ramirez I need you”, Connor brings Ramirez back to life. What the hell?!? This movie is 15 years old and I still have nightmares about it.
3) Catwoman – Ummm… someone forgot to tell the makers of this film that Catwoman doesn’t have any superpowers. Not that it mattered… this movie was painful to watch. I think I had the runs for like 3 days after seeing it.
4) Batman and Robin – Arnold as Mr. Freeze? Bat Skates? I’m just not going to say any more.
5) The Ringer – This Johnny Knoxville piece of shit has the honor of being only the 3rd movie in my life that I ever walked out on. Sadly, I didn’t walk out until near the end. Mocking the handicapped is fun. Ug.
6) Dr. T. and the Women – Without a doubt the single worst Richard Gere film of his respectable career. The whole thing felt like the producers thought it would be a great idea to make this movie… then showed up on set… and forgot why they were there in the first place. Oh yeah… stupidest ending to a film of all time.
7) Deuce Bigalow 2 – You can almost insert any Rob “No-Talent” Schneider film in here… but this is his most wretched. What made it even worse was that the first 5 minutes were kinda funny… and made me get my hopes up for the rest of the film. Yeah… that was a bad move on my part.
8) Dungeons and Dragons – This movie had so much going for it. A wealth of potential WITHOUT a lot of fan expectations. It’s a no lose situation right? HAHAHA!!! Even the magnificent Jeremy Irons looks like a knob in this garbage. This movie is the reason why whenever a video game or comic or cartoon based movie is getting made and someone says “They need to get someone who was a fan of the comic/game/cartoon… I just laugh. Solomon was a HUGE D&D nut. Fuck getting a fan… get someone with TALENT.
9) Alone in the Dark – What list like this would be complete without at least 1 Uwe Boll flick. as one online critic once said: “the other practitioners of cinematic drivel can rest a little easier now; they can walk in the daylight with their heads held high, a smile on their lips and a song in their hearts. It’s okay, they’ll tell themselves. I didn’t make Alone in the Dark.”
10) Blair Witch Project 2 – A complete and total departure from everything that made the original interesting and fun to watch. Giant piece of junk. Did anyone else notice that when the guy is in a straight jacket in the padded room… that the padded room had a giant freaking GLASS WINDOW in it?
So there you have it folks… the 10 films that hurt my ass the most to watch. Now hit us with YOUR list.
Oh yeah… tomorrow will be my “Top 10 most Guilty Pleasure Movies”. Or “Bad movies that I love” Wheeee.
